City
by ConflictedCalypso
Summary: What if Bella never jumped off the cliff? What if the Cullens never came back? Fast-forward four years and Bella's living in a different country, and has left her past behind her. But what will happen when a certain pixie turns up, uninvited? Now (finally!) complete.
1. Chapter 1

"Bella?" My head snapped up from the desk I'd been resting it on at the sound of the voice, and I hoped that I didn't look like I'd just been taking a nap at work. Apparently, I didn't succeed, judging from the amused look on the face of the woman stood in the doorway. "Were you sleeping? On the job? I'm ashamed to be your assistant."

"And if you want to keep that job, we'll keep our mouth shut, won't we?" I replied sweetly, though I wasn't able to hold back a soft smile as I spoke. I had had the same job ever since leaving high school, and I'd had my fair share of assistants over that time. Out of all of them, though, Alex was my favourite.

"I'm offended that you thought I'd tell in the first place." She shut the door of my office behind her and came to sit opposite me, looking outside of the huge window that was one of my walls. I followed suit, absorbing the beautiful view of London that this office offered me.

I loved everything about the city – I'd been destined to fall for it, I liked to think. It had offered me an escape from every terrible thing that had happened in my life back home, and for that, I would always be eternally grateful.

"So, are you all set for this interview tomorrow?"

"Um… sure?"

"Bella. Seriously? You've had… what, two months?"

"I know, I know. I suck, whatever. I just… It's _fashion_. I _hate _fashion." It was true, too – when I had signed up for this job, there had been no mention of fashion. I doubted I would have reconsidered such a great offer, though, thinking about it. When you're eighteen, you don't get many chances. I had been amazed at my luck, but then again – I'd had so much _bad_ luck in my life that it had had to even out sometime. "Besides, I'm not the sole interviewer. I'll be fine. I'll do the recording."

"You still have to look like you know your stuff. Otherwise you'll give the magazine a bad name." Yeah, that was what I worked as – a journalist. Who would have thought?

Certainly not me.

"Do you always have to know so much?"

"Yep. It's how I get by in life. And, luckily for you, I made you a list of who she is, how she got to where she is today, what to ask her and so on. Please, _please_ read it before tomorrow morning." She handed me what looked like a pretty extensive file of notes, and I eyed it warily before taking it off her with a sigh.

"Is that all?"

"You're finishing soon anyway, aren't you? What time does your friend leave?"

"Her flight's at ten tomorrow morning. We're going out tonight as a sort of goodbye."

"Well, just make sue you read that. _Please_."

"I will. God, give me a break, Al." She left soon after, and, with a quick glance at the clock, I decided that I was never going to get any work done in half an hour and spun in my chair to face out the window once more. I loved this office mainly because of the view – it had caused me to be late turning in articles because I always used to get distracted.

I was still amazed, every day, that I had stumbled upon such an opportunity as this. I had gone travelling with my friend Angela (the same friend, in fact, who was currently staying with me), as soon as high school was over and done with. We'd ended up in London after a month, and, when I needed some more money, she encouraged me to write freelance for an up-and-coming magazine that she'd seen advertised. I'd gone for it, just wanting the money, and when they had offered me an apprenticeship, I had jumped at the chance.

Fast forward four years, and I was pretty high up in the media food chain. I wrote articles on pretty much anything – except for fashion. Unfortunately for me, however, the girl who usually covered that area was pregnant and out of action, and everyone else had something else to be doing (the result of us becoming a more and more established publication), and the task had fallen to me.

If I was being honest, I would have flat out refused had my boss, Lisa, not begged me to do it. But as it was, I classed her as a friend and was willing to help her out. So here I was, with little idea of what I was going to do tomorrow – I didn't even know the chick's name.

I was brought out of my reverie by the sound of my phone ringing, and I surveyed my desk for a moment, trying to discern where, from the mass of paper, folders, office equipment and general _crap _that I had on it, the ringing was coming from. That was before I remembered that I had never taken it out of my bag that morning and hurried over to the corner, amazingly without tripping over the boxes that lined the floor.

Organisation had never been a strong point of mine.

"Hello?"

"Oh, so you _are _alive."

"Hey, Ange. What's up?" I sat back in my chair once more, catching the eye of my boss through the glass at the side of my door. I waved, knowing that she was probably too busy to catch up at that point in time.

"Just wondering what the plan was for later."

"Why? Is there something specific you wanted to do?"

"Well…"

"What?"

"I wanted to go clubbing."

"Ange!"

"Suck it up, Bells. It's my last dayin town. Be a _good _friend."

"Just so you know, I hate you right now."

"I know. Catch you later!" She hung up before I could argue further, and I muttered angrily to myself for a moment or two before starting to pack up for the day.

I _hated _clubbing. I hated it with a deep and dark passion, something which she knew well, seeing as she was my best friend. But, I loved her enough to want to make sure that she had a great time while she was visiting, so I figured that I could at least try, just for one night.

I remembered to grab the folder Alex had left for me before leaving, vowing to read it before I went out, or in the morning, and waved goodbye to both her and Lisa before making my way the to the lift and then out of the building.

The air outside was cool, and a few droplets of rain fell as I started the walk back to my apartment. It took fifteen minutes, and there was an Underground station nearby if I ever got too lazy to make the commute on foot, but today I was happy to let my mind wander as I walked.

Having Angela in town, especially at this time of year (October, if you were wondering), had meant that I was thinking about my past far more than I usually did. For the most part, my moving out here had been the success I had wanted – I had left everything behind, and gotten the escape that I had needed in order to survive.

And, as soon as I had been left to my own devices, it had gotten easier. It had never completely gone away, don't get me wrong – the pain of what _he _had done to me had been there for a long, long time. But, gradually, the love that I had for him had faded and been replaced by something else. I couldn't discern what, exactly – but I felt little other than anger for everything he had done to me, for him leaving me with nothing. I resented him, resented what he had - what he _undeservingly _had, in my opinion.

I was glad that he had kept his promise – _'It'll be as if I never existed'_. And, even if he did exist, at least in my mind, the fact that he was no longer in my life, nor would he ever be, was a relief to me. I didn't know what would happen if I were ever to see him once more.

Another startling revelation that had come to my attention shortly after I had finally, _finally_ been able to let him go was the fact that I started to fall for one of the first friends I had made in London – who just happened to be, to my amazement, a girl.

We had ended up, eventually, having a relationship, a brief one at that, but I didn't regret it. It had taken a lot for me to be able to overcome everything and accept who I might be, and I was grateful that, even though we hadn't come to anything, I had had the opportunity to accept who I was. To embrace it, even. Since then I'd had only two serious relationships – the last of which had ended around six months ago. I was fairly happy with that, because, after all, I was only twenty-two, and I had a lot of time to be in a relationship, and a lot of time to just date, and even have a fling or two.

Or four. Or… however many I'd had over the years.

Not that I was a slut or anything. I just happened to enjoy sex, was all. At least, that's what I tried to convince my friends, who, of course, liked to think I was a slut and tease me about it at every opportunity.

I didn't mind much, though – it gave me the chance to remind them that they were just jealous I was out getting some when they weren't. It soon shut them up.

The heavens had just opened when I was within four foot of my apartment block, and I sprinted the final distance to the door, punching in the code hurriedly, before stepping inside. I'd been lucky to get an apartment like the one I had, too – Lisa's influence had had something to do with it, I was sure.

I wasn't complaining, though, because I absolutely adored where I lived.

Angela was sprawled on the couch when I walked in, flicking through the tv channels, but she sat up when she heard the door, her eyes brightening at the prospect of going out tonight. I grimaced at her excitement, which only made her grin more as she stood and bounded her way over to me.

"Look a little happier, at least. It'll be _fun_. I promise."

"You could at least _try _to look like you're having fun. I mean, I even picked a gay bar, especially for you."

"Oh, please. Don't play all sweet and innocent with me. You were _so _into that blonde you were dancing with before."

"I was not!" I raised an eyebrow at her in disbelief, and she crumbled a second later. "Ok, fine. She was hot. Leave me alone – we're all entitled to experimentation."

"Experimentation implies that it happened once, maybe twice."

"Your point being?" But I just shook my head and laughed, knowing she knew full well what I meant. Everyone who didn't know Angela thought she was shy, a prude, even, but that couldn't be further from the truth. If she saw someone she wanted, she'd get them, one way or another. I knew that she'd been with girls before, as a good friend would, but I also knew that she liked boys far too much to ever be a lesbian.

"Go dance with her. I'll survive on my own."

"Sure?"

"Positive. Go." I waved her away, wandering up to the bar to ask for another margarita, knowing that I shouldn't really drink too much the night before a big interview but also not really caring too much. I'd been dwelling too much, which wasn't something I generally liked to do much of, and it was starting to take its toll.

I'd gone through another two drinks without even realising before I became aware of a body coming to a stop beside me.

"What are you doing here on a weeknight, gorgeous? Surely you should be home working, or something." I turned to the side to see one of my best friends, Nikki, stood beside me, wearing what I liked to think of as 'bait' clothing – skin tight shirt and the shortest skirt I'd ever seen in my entire life.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Please. I'm not a workaholic like you. 'Sides, I have the week off. You alright? I haven't seen you drink that much for a while."

"Oh, I'm fine. Just… thinking. How long have you been stood there for, anyway?"

"Ooh. Thinking's bad. And a while. I figured I'd wait to see if you saw me… Why are you looking at me like that? Because I _know _that look. That's your fuck-me look." Truth was, I hadn't just been thinking about _him_ – I'd also been thinking that it had been a while since I'd hooked up with anyone. And here, in front of me, I had my tall, brunette, totally hot friend, who, might I add, I had slept with before, and who had made it clear that as long as it was no-strings, would happily sleep with me again. "Long day?"

"You have no idea."

"Want me to take you home?" She murmured, stepping closer, and I had to refrain from leaving straight away, because it really _had _been a while since I'd been with anyone, and having her stand so close was making my blood start to pound, the memory of the times we'd been together before running through my mind, a slice of perfect clarity amongst my otherwise hazy mind.

"I… I have to say bye to Angela first," I muttered, and it was only when I took a step backwards that I realised how much I actually _had _drunk.

"God, Bella, how pissed are we?" Nikki caught my arm to steady me, and I tried to look around for Angela without moving, but to no avail. "Look, stay here, don't move, and I'll go find Angela, alright?"

I nodded and after a minute of assessing whether or not I could stand on my own, she disappeared, and was back soon after. She wrapped an arm around my waist to help me walk, and I was grateful for the support, doubting that I'd be able to make the journey home otherwise.

I felt slightly sobered up by the time we got back into my apartment, at least enough to feel like I wasn't going to throw up at any point in the near future, so, instead of showing Nikki out and going straight to be like I knew I really _should_ – I was still not thinking clearly enough, and I grabbed her wrist when she started to leave.

"And where are _you_ going?"

The unbearable sound of a ringtone woke me from the stupor I'd found myself in, making my head feel like it was going to explode. I tried to find my phone to turn the stupid thing off, but to do so would involve moving my head, which was something I wanted to put off for the longest possible amount of time. I soon discovered, however, when it went off only to start ringing again, that I was just prolonging the inevitable.

I clambered blindly to my feet, stumbling over some item of clothing on the floor on the way to the light switch, and I groaned at the pain that searing through my head at the sudden brightness.

I managed to locate my phone, though, when I could bear to open my eyes, and saw that it was Alex ringing me.

"What?"

"… Good morning to you, too. Where the _hell_ are you?"

"What? It's… oh, holy fucking _shit_." I had glanced at the clock for the first time and realised why she was calling – I had less than an hour before my interview was supposed to start. "Shit. Shit. I'm on my way."

I hung up without waiting for an answer, practically sprinting into the bathroom and grimacing at the state of my hair, but running a brush through it nonetheless, regretting the fact that I was meeting a _fashion _designer soon. I was going to look a _mess_.

I didn't have enough time to dwell on that fact though, as I tried to make myself look slightly better with make-up and then sprinting back into my room, attracting a look of startled disbelief from a half-naked Nikki who was still sprawled in my bed.

"_What _has gotten into you?"

"I have a big day at work today. Big interview. In less than an _hour_." I muttered as I pulled on the first pair of clean underwear I found, and was eternally grateful for the fact that I had already planned my outfit for today, and it was laid out ready. I pulled the clothes on as quickly as I could (black pants with a white shirt and black blazer), while I spoke, casting another glance at the clock to see how much time I had left.

"Jesus, Bella. And you went out yesterday? No, no, don't answer me. Go to work. You can tell me about it later."

"Feel free to stay here for as long as you want!" I called over my shoulder before making my way to my guest bedroom, flinging the door open without much consideration for Angela, and sincerely wishing that I had when I revealed not only her, but the hot blonde she'd been dancing with last night.

"I'm… I've got to go," I said, trying not to smirk and failing miserably. She stuck her tongue out at me, while the other girl looked absolutely mortified. "You're going to be gone when I get home?"

"Yup. I'd hug you, but I'm pretty naked under here."

"Fair enough, then," I laughed. "Well, I'll see you soon, anyway. I think I'm coming home for Christmas."

"Awesome. I'll call you, when I get home myself." I wanted to stay for longer, didn't want her to leave, felt like she hadn't been here for long enough, but I was conscious of the time and I was too in love with my job to risk being late. So I cast one final look at her before running for the door, remembering my coat on the way out (thankfully, because it was raining pretty heavily outside), and was sincerely glad that I hadn't chosen the heels that morning, because I would doubtless have fallen over at least on my jog over to the offices.

Alex met me outside of the lift doors, and it was only that second when I realised something crucial that I had forgotten – the stupid folder. I'd left it on my kitchen table, with every intention of reading it, but Angela had distracted me as soon as I'd stepped through the door yesterday.

"You didn't read it, did you?"

"I… tried?"

"Lisa's going to _kill _you."

"I know." I sighed as I made my way to my office, praying that there were still some painkillers in my drawer because my head was _killing _me. I also hoped that I didn't look _too _awful – though the look of worry that Lisa shot me when she strolled through my door a second after I had made me doubt that I was succeeding.

"Bella, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Or I'll _be _fine if I can just find my – ah, there you are." I grabbed three of the tablets (ok, so the box said two, but really, the pain was bad enough for me to pass out if I wasn't careful), and downed them with a bottle of water before turning to face my boss. "I'm fine."

"Ok, well… She's here."

"What? Already? I thought there were supposed to be fashionably _late _to things like these? Not early!"

"Sorry, Bella. But Sophie isn't in yet, and you're the only one free to keep her entertained until the interview's set to start. Just… talk to her about journalism. You'll be fine." She didn't give me much time to argue, grabbing my arm and yanking me down the hall, down the side I never usually went on, right the way to the other end and the room next to her office. It was, for all intents and purposes, a meeting room, and through the clouded glass walls I could see the outline of a person sitting in one of the many chairs that sat around the table.

"Go on!" She opened the door and practically shoving me through it, and I only barely managed to stop myself from falling flat on my face. I cast her a dirty look, but the door was already closing.

Finally, I turned to face the woman in front of me, hoping that she wouldn't be _too_ awfully boring, but whatever words I'd been about to say died on my lips when I recognised her. She was exactly the same, still forever frozen in time, her hair still in the same, haphazardly-spiked style as before, the same shade of dark brown, her skin the same flawless pale, and those eyes… the eyes were a honey-gold, staring back at me with an emotion that I was unable to describe.

"I... _Alice_?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the first chapter, and to everyone who put this on alert or on their favourites list… It made my way to see that, and you guys all rock! :D **

**I don't have an exact plan for this, and I suspect that even if I did, it wouldn't go that way. Stories I write tend to end up going in an entirely different direction to what I had planned. **

**But enough of me rambling, and on with the story… If you want to be awesome and leave a review again, I won't complain. ;D **

"Hello, Bella." That voice – it was exactly the same as I remembered. I'd done a pretty good job at repressing memories of the Cullen's, but they all came rushing back with a vicious sting, and I flinched away from her, back against the wall of the room. I felt suddenly claustrophobic, and I was distantly aware that I was shaking.

I couldn't speak; I was paralysed, though with what, I couldn't say. I just knew that there was no way that she could be here, that I must be seeing things. Because it just wasn't _possible_.

I'd been thinking about the past, after all – maybe this was all just a terrible, horrific nightmare, a result of drinking so much last night. Really, I was still curled up in bed next to Nikki, and this wasn't really happening.

"Bella?" Her voice snapped me back into the present, and I saw that she had taken several steps towards me, which made me start to panic. She was frowning, her eyebrows drawn together and her eyes swimming with what looked like worry.

But I couldn't handle this. Not here, not now, not _ever_. I had never wanted to see any of them again, never wanted to be reminded of those days, of that perfect immortality that had been within my reach. To have it all brought back – and suddenly, too – was unbearable.

I stepped to the side, further away from her, and flinched away from her outstretched hand, turning and making a dive for the door, wrenching it open and stepping through it as fast as I could. I had no idea what look was on my face, but I imagined that it couldn't be good. I was still shaking all over, my hands being the worst, and Lisa and Alex turned simultaneously to face me, stopping in mid-conversation with a third party, someone I didn't recognise.

"Bella? Are you alright?" Lisa's voice was concerned, and she took a step towards me, but I waved her off, dropping my hand as it trembled in mid-air. I saw her eyes track the movement, and she took another step forward.

"I'm… I'm fine. Perfectly fine. I just… I think I'm going to throw up." I didn't offer any further explanation, my body finally catching up with my mind and my stomach heaving horribly, as I turned and practically sprinted for the bathroom. If I had eaten anything that morning, I imagined that I would have been hunched over the toilet for a lot longer than I was, but as it was, I hadn't had the chance to force anything down that morning.

I heard the door open after I'd been there for a few seconds, and Lisa's concerned voice echoed off the walls. "Bella, honey? Do you need the day off?"

"I… Yes. Yes, I think I do." I hated to miss work, and in fact, I don't think I ever had missed a day before. Well, _willingly, _anyway. I'd been forced, by Lisa, to stay off for a week about a year ago when I'd had the worst food poisoning known to man. I'd tried to come in on the first day, but she'd sent me home. Other than that, though, I'd been a model employee.

Wincing, I stood up from where I'd been crouched on the floor and, feeling steadier on my feet, opened the door of the stall to face my boss, who looked more worried than I had ever seen her.

"What's up with you? Alex said you'd gone out last night, but… This doesn't look like a hangover. You look like you've seen a ghost." I was unable to stop a bitter laugh from escaping me at her words, their irony in no way lost on me. After all, Alice was a ghost – one from my past. And one that I didn't feel up to facing. I knew that she wouldn't go away, because she must be here for a reason, but I needed some time to work up to it.

"I… I know her. That's all I'm going to say."

"Ok. Get yourself home, and get some rest. I'll get someone else to fill in for you." I could tell that she reluctant to let the matter drop, but I also knew that she respected me enough to trust me, that this was something bigger than I was willing to talk about.

I left the back way, abandoning my bag and my phone, not wanting to go back to my office at the risk of encountering other people. I walked purposely slow on the way home, and a quick glance at my watch told me that Angela wouldn't have gone yet. I was glad – out of everyone, she was probably the best person to speak to. She might not know about the whole vampire side of things, but that wasn't the most pressing matter here.

Sure enough, she was stood in the kitchen, cooking, when I got home, and the blonde and Nikki were sat at the breakfast bar in front of her. All three turned at the sound of my approach, and Ange, bless her, took one look at my face and pointed towards my bedroom with the wooden spoon that she was holding.

I ignored the other two and carried on walking in the direction Angela pointed, and threw myself onto my bed, burying my head into the pillows and hoping that everything would just go away if I stayed here, never leaving my apartment.

"What's happened?" Angela's voice was quietly concerned as I heard her shut my bedroom door behind her and come to sit on the bed beside me. I didn't move, and after a few minutes of silence, she rested her hand on the small of my back and inched closer to me. "Bella? You're scaring me."

"The fashion designer. My big interview." I turned to lie on my back so that I was sort of facing her before I carried on, wanting to see what her reaction would be. "It was Alice."

The name hung in the air between us for a second, and I saw recognition, blank shock, then disbelief, and finally, anger, pass across her face in quick succession.

"The fucking _nerve _of her to show up here without warning you! That's the most fucking - " She paused, mid-rant, catching my eye and seeing I shared none of her fury, and I saw the visible effort it took her to try and calm down. Angela was fiercely loyal to her friends, and if anyone hurt them, she was unstoppable. I was always amazed by this – I swore that half of the time, she got more riled up on her friends behalves than her own. "I'm sorry. How are you holding up?"

"I'm... I don't know, Ange. It's fucking my head up, that's for sure." Her hand clasped mine in her own, and we stayed like that for a long time, neither of us speaking or moving. I was just glad for the company, and she knew that this was exactly what I needed without me telling her, something which never failed to amaze me.

"Is she ok?" I recognised Nikki's voice, but I didn't look up. I never wanted to move again, and I let Angela reply to her – which she did non-verbally, so whether she nodded of shook her head, I didn't know. "I've gotta go, Bells, but I'll come back later, alright?"

I nodded without looking at her, and she left, and it was then that I remembered that Angela had a flight that she needed to catch. With a sigh, I pushed myself so that I was sitting up.

"Feeling better?"

"No. But you're going to miss your flight."

"I don't mind."

"Well, _I_ do. You're not missing your flight 'cause of me brooding. Have you packed up your stuff?"

"Sorta?" I spent the next few minutes helping get everything together, and I was grateful for the menial task, because it forced me to focus on something, _anything_ other than my whirling thoughts.

When she'd gone, though, I had no such respite. A shower didn't take me long, and then I started cleaning my apartment with an obsession that I had been previously unaware that I was capable of. It left my mind to wander though, after a certain amount of time, and I gave up after a while, instead curling up on my couch with my knees at my chest.

I could think of no conceivable reason of why she could be here, no glaringly obvious answer to the question at the forefront of my mind. The only possible thing I could think of was that it had something to go with _him_. But there had been no sense of urgency in her words, or her actions, nothing to convince me that there was some sort of emergency that I was desperately needed for.

So all in all, I was just back at square one. I had so many questions, but no desire, not truly, to have them answered. Because doing so would mean talking to her, and I didn't know if I was ready for that yet. My mind was still spinning from our encounter that morning.

I knew though, that she would soon appear. She _had _to. There had to be a purpose to her visit, and she was a freaking psychic vampire – there was no way I could hide from _that_. I could only hope, though, that her brother had not accompanied her.

The thought of him made my stomach churn, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt, that if he was here, with her, that I couldn't see him. I couldn't talk to him, couldn't be around him, not after everything he had selfishly put me through. Giving me everything that I had ever wanted, only to rip it away. I didn't know how, exactly, I was going to achieve the feat of staying away from him, though I did have a desperate and probably stupid back-up plan – phone my dad up and ask for Jake's number.

I'd cut off all contact with everyone from back home when I'd moved, apart from my family, and Angela, of course. But everyone else had had to go. I wasn't awfully close to anyone at school, so cutting ties there hadn't caused my any strife.

Jacob had been a difficult decision for me. On the one hand, he was a great friend, and I valued that, not to mention how he'd been there for me when no-one else had. I would forever be grateful for everything he had done for me, those few months when I had acted like a pathetic, love-sick fool – I could look back at those times like that now, now that my mind wasn't clouded with thought of _him_. I'd been stupid to think the way I had during that time, and I hated what I'd put my loved ones through, how I'd made them suffer. But, I'd managed to put all of that behind me and had risen above.

I knew that Jake liked to think that there was something more than friendship between us, that he had wanted me to give us a try, but I had never been able to see it, myself. I had loved him, sure, but as a friend, nothing more. He had been unable to see that, and it had put a strain on our relationship.

That was one reason why I was glad I had cut ties with him – I had felt awfully guilty, knowing that while I was friends with him, he would always continue to think that we would have a chance, when I knew with my heart and soul that I would never be able to love him back the same way. Maybe it had been because of Edward, maybe because I'd started, subconsciously, to doubt my sexuality, or maybe it had simply been because I thought of him too much like a friend. But, in any case, it had just gotten too much for me, in the end.

Another reason for the sudden separation was the fact that he was too much of a constant reminder of the supernatural, of what I had wanted and been unable to have.

So, I had left, without telling him, forcing my dad to swear that he wouldn't tell Jake where I'd gone. I knew that he had been cut up about it for a while, but he had gotten over it, and now he was, as far as I'd last heard, engaged to another wolf from the reservation – Leah Clearwater, to my amazement. I would have never expected the two of them to end up together, but I guess sometimes, opposites really do attract.

I was broken out of my reverie by the sound of my door opening, and I half-expected Alice to waltz through the door as if she owned the place, but I was relived to see that it was just Alex, looking at me warily to ascertain that I was feeling (and, most probably, _looking_), better.

"You look less like death," she commented, flinging herself down onto the couch beside me.

"Thanks."

"I did your interview." She was watching me carefully, I noted, and I kept my face expressionless at her words, doubting that she was here of her own accord. Lisa was well-known for wheedling out information, using whatever means possible – it was one of the reasons she had brought the magazine on so much – and I didn't doubt that she would stoop so low as to send Alex to find out what was up with me. I knew that she meant in a harmless and caring way, but even so, I was keeping my mouth shut. Personal and professional lives should always be kept separate… Or so I liked to tell myself.

"That's nice. Want your folder back?" It had been sitting on my kitchen table all morning, and I had barely suppressed the urge to fling it out of the window, not wanting anything to do with her in my apartment. As it was, I had managed to refrain, not knowing whether or not Alex had wanted it back.

"No, you can keep it. I'm only here to drop something off… The girl – Alice – she told me to give you this." She held a note out in her left hand, and I stared at it for a long, long time, not wanting to take it, but knowing it would raise questions if I didn't. With a barely repressed sigh, I snatched it from her hand and crumpled it slightly in my own, perhaps hoping I could quash whatever words were within it, knowing that I would regret reading them as soon as I did.

"Thanks." Whether she heard the sarcasm in my tone or not, she just smiled softly before making her excuses and leaving. When she'd gone, I stared at the sheet of paper for a long, long time before finally, finally opening it. Inside, written in the neat, perfect script that I remembered, were just a few simple words.

_Bella, _

_I'm sorry for showing up so unexpectedly. I should have thought this through more, I suppose, but I've been known to rush into things in the past. _

_I didn't want to hurt you, or bring anything up that is best left forgotten, but I know I have, and for that I apologise. _

_I'm not going anywhere until I've at least spoken to you, though I think you already knew that. Please, please, at least let me talk to you, just for a few moments. I can explain. Or try to, at least. _

_Again, I am so, so, sorry. _

_Love, _

_Alice. _

I stared at the note for a while longer, reading it over and over again until the words were branded into my mind. I would have probably sat there for hours longer had I not heard another knock at my door. I was frozen for a few seconds, paralysed by the fear, once again, that it was _her_, that the note was given to me to prepare me for some sort of meeting… that she would refuse to leave until we'd spoken.

Thankfully, I heard Nikki's voice call through the door a while later, and I breathed a second sigh of relief as I went to let her in. I didn't really want to fill her in on what had happened, but I knew I had freaked her out that morning and she was unlikely to go away until she'd checked that I was feeling better.

"You look like crap," she said as I let her in. I shut the door behind her, shaking my head, before throwing myself back down onto the couch. The note lay open on the coffee table, and I lunged forward to move it before she had a chance to read it.

"…Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Tough."

"How did I know you were going to say that?"

"'Cause I'm me?" I sighed once again, knowing that there was no way, not really, that I was going to be able to shut her out. With Angela gone, she was my best friend, and I knew that if I didn't have someone to talk to about all of this in times to come, it wouldn't end well for me.

"Do you remember the story I told you, of why I came out here? Well, partly why."

"The one with the jack-ass ex-boyfriend?" I'd told her everything about Edward other than the things I couldn't – though I can't lie and say that I haven't been tempted. Exposing his secret would, in a way, give me some gratification, but I knew that no-one would believe me. That, and I wasn't idiot enough to bring the wrath of vampires everywhere down on me if people _did _believe me.

"Yeah, him."

"He's not back, is he? 'Cause if he's back, and he's giving you shit, then I will beat the crap out of Bella, I swear. Whether you want me to or not." I had to smile at her reaction, so similar to Angela's, and then again at the mental image I got of those two fighting. Edward might be immortal, but I'd seen Nikki in action before, and she was pretty damn scary.

"Not necessary, even if he _were _back. But he's not. It's… his sister's in town. She was the fashion designer I was supposed to be interviewing." I was playing with the frayed edges of one of my cushions as I spoke, not really wanting to see her reaction. I could practically _feel _her trying to reign in her anger before she replied to me, but I still didn't look up.

"Did she… Did she know that it would be you? Did she pick your magazine on purpose? Because if she did, then that's some pretty fucked up shit."

She brought up a good point, though I suspected I already knew the answer. Had she not sent me the note saying she needed to talk to me, then I could have almost believed that this entire thing was just some God-awful coincidence. But what she had sent me suggested to me that at least that if she hadn't known that it would be _me_ interviewing her, then she must have known that I would be around.

I didn't want to think on it too much, though, fearing that guessing the reasons behind what she did would only drive me to the point of insanity, and make me want to speak to her, which, as of now, I would quite like to avoid. The longer it took, the better for me.

"I don't know. I presume she did, though."

"Fucked up, Bella. Seriously. She hadn't brought him with her, has she?"

"No." I answered with a certainty that surprised even me – I had no idea how I could be so certain, I just knew that I _was_. He wasn't in town, or not yet he wasn't, at least. Of that, I was positive – he would have revealed himself to me already. When my subconscious had come to this decision, I had no idea, but I was glad that it had. I felt like I could breathe a little easier if I knew I wasn't going to run into him.

"Even so. I can beat _her _up for you, if you prefer."

"That's alright, Nik. I can deal with her for now."

"She try to speak to you?"

"Yeah, but I ran off. Scared the crap out of Lisa – I don't think she's ever seen me move that fast. But she gave me the day off, and I came back here, and you know the rest. I just hope she isn't at work tomorrow…"

"Well, here's a crazy idea… I have the day off. Isn't Tuesday take-your-slightly-insane-but-smoking-hot friend to work day?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Remind me why I don't come to work with you more often? Damn, Bells. I wished I could live like this."

"It's not that special, Nikki. Honestly." We'd managed to make it inside without encountering anyone that I knew, which I was pretty happy with – after my episode yesterday, I wasn't too sure that Lisa would be happy with me bringing a friend into work for the day. Then again, she might just be grateful that I was there at all.

"Yeah, yeah. Wish I had a view like this where I work."

"Well, I doubt you're going to, seeing as you work on the high street. Which, unfortunately for you, is usually only a single storey building." I broke off when I heard a soft knock at my door, and Alex poked her head around a second later, looking mildly surprised to see Nikki but passing no comment.

"I have some news for you that you aren't going to like."

"Let me guess. Alice is here."

"Mm-hmm. And not only that, but… She's going to be here quite a lot from now on."

"What? _Why_?"

"Apparently, she was destined to stay for a while even before the interview. The board of directors… They decided that they wanted a more permanent fashion fixture, and because Kate's going to be on maternity leave for a while… I'm sorry. Lisa tried to talk them out of it when she found out you and her had a history, but they wouldn't listen."

"I… Thanks for telling me. Anything else?" I wanted her out of there before I started either screaming or crying – at that point, I honestly couldn't decide which reaction was at the forefront of my mind.

Anger was starting to win out, though. Because, really, how _dare _she come back here? How dare she just waltz back into my life as if nothing had happened? As if her and her family hadn't ripped my life to shreds four and a half years ago?

Yeah, screaming was definitely starting to sound better than crying.

"Uh, no." She seemed to sense that I wanted her gone, because she turned hastily and left. Nikki was frowning, and when our eyes met she raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously. I can beat her up, if you want. Won't be too hard to find her."

"Somehow, I really don't think that would help."

"Spoilsport. So, what's on the agenda for today?" I was glad that she was there, and that she'd thought to change the subject – the better distracted I was, the less chance I'd have to worry about potentially running into Alice whilst I was working.

I had a few articles that I needed to finish off, and Nikki kept the conversation flowing between us, never allowing my mind to wander far from either what I was writing or what we were talking about.

I hadn't realised that several hours had passed until Lisa stuck her head around the door, forcing me to glance up from my computer screen and see the time on the clock that hung on the wall opposite.

"Hey, Bella, can I have a quick wor - Oh, I didn't realise that you had company."

"I'm sorry," Nikki said, standing up and stretching. "If it's a problem, I can go..."

"Oh, no, no, it's fine. Just wasn't expecting anyone else to be here, is all. Bella, come and see me in my office later on, will you?" She left without giving me the chance to decline, and I sighed as I watched her walk away. I had little doubt of what she wanted to talk to me about, but that didn't mean that _I_ wantedto.

"Tough break, Bella. You gonna go later or…?"

"No, I'll go now. And then we can go for lunch, if you want." I saw her eyes brighten at the mention of food – Nikki was one of those girls who could stuff her face with enough junk food to feed a family and not put on a single pound.

Not that I was at all jealous of that.

I didn't really want to leave the safety of my office (even though that safety was an illusion – I knew that she would know where my office was, and if she wanted to find me, I was positive that she could), and I made my way hesitantly to Lisa's office, mentally scolding myself the whole way there for how much of an idiot I was being.

Mercifully, I didn't see another soul on my trek, and I presumed that everyone was either on their lunch break or in their offices. Lisa's door was open, so I just knocked lightly on it before stepping inside, closing it behind me.

"Please, sit down," she said, without taking her eyes off the folder she was reading. I sat, casting my eyes around her office briefly, already knowing where everything would be – there was little escape from your boss when you chose a career such as mine.

"Alex has told you the news, correct?"

"Unfortunately."

"I'm sorry about this, Bella. I really am. I had no idea that you knew her, none at all. If you'd have said before the interview…"

"I didn't know it was going to be her."

"But you must have known the _name _of the person you'd be interviewing, surely." I hadn't, if I was being completely honest with myself – I was good at my job, really. It was just… _fashion_. What was the point in it, at all?

"She's changed her name since I knew her." Which wasn't a lie – there was no way she'd be able to use the same name, or at least not the same _whole_ name. Why she had even decided to become a fashion designer was beyond me. I mean, I was aware of how much she'd loved fashion, and assumed that that hadn't changed, but she couldn't get _too _well known – because if she was recognised, years after, when she would inevitably be unchanged, then questions would definitely arise.

Not that I planned on asking her about it anytime soon, though.

"Alright, then. But I'm afraid that I she wont be leaving for a fair while, Bella. The board want her to stay; apparently her family's done work for them before or something… They won't budge. Is that going to be a problem?"

_Yes_.

"No. I can be professional. Besides, I won't have to see her around much, will I?"

"Well…"

"That does _not _sound like a good 'well'."

"They gave her Kate's office. Which is - "

"On this floor."

"I'm sorry." I wondered, abstractly, if she'd asked for that office. Used that stupid Cullen-charm to _get _that office, to ingrain herself into my life just that little bit more. It was infuriating, really, and the more I thought about it, the angrier I became.

"Anything else?"

"No, I don't think so. I can tell her to stay away from you, if you'd like."

"Somehow I doubt she'd listen. I'll see you around." I stood and saw her open her mouth, doubtless to satiate her curiosity about how I knew Alice and what our history was, but I turned and left before she got the chance.

I collected Nikki from my office (thankfully not seeing _her_ on the return trip), and we made our way to the ground floor, which held the massive cafeteria that catered for the whole building. There were a couple of other, smaller, publications that occupied the bottom few floors, and then the rest were either unoccupied or taken by some division of our magazine.

"So, this chick in here? Any table we need to avoid?" I cast my eyes around the room briefly, flickering over faces familiar and unfamiliar alike, and, finding no sign of black hair or golden eyes shook my head. We went and sat on one of the few empty tables, and I kept shooting furtive glances at the door until Nikki caught my chin and held my head in place.

"Babe, you look like you've got a twitch. Chill out. If she comes in, we'll leave, alright? I just can't believe she's got you so freaked out." I bit my lip, unable to stop myself from attempting to look at the door yet again, causing Nikki's hold to tighten by a fraction. "Stop it."

"I can't help it. She… She's not even spoken to me and I'm looking around every corner."

"Sure it was the brother you were dating and not her?"

"_What?_ _No!_" I nearly choked, I was so surprised by the comment, but her eyes flashed with triumph at the fact that I'd stopped looking over my shoulder. "No. That's… that's a ridiculous idea."

"If you say so." She hadn't yet dropped her hand, still deliberating whether it was a good idea to do so, when I heard someone cough from behind me. My eyes closed, because I knew, I just _knew _who I'd see when I turned around.

"Is this seat taken?" Her voice washed over me once again, and a million memories, memories that I had tried my very hardest to repress, washed over me. I heard her pull out a chair to my left, not waiting for my answer, and I opened my eyes, wishing that I could turn to face her to give her the full effect of the glare that came across my face.

But, alas, I was too much of a coward and only ended up glaring at the wall.

"It is, actually." If she noticed that I was speaking through gritted teeth, she didn't show it. I saw Nikki's eyes flash dangerously when she put the pieces together, and I wondered what _would _happen if I let her launch across the table, because it looked like she was readying herself to.

"She doesn't want to talk to you. So I think you should go."

"Bella? Do you want me to go?" I didn't look at her, _couldn't _look at her, so my gaze was fixed on Nikki's face, silently begging her not to make a scene in front of everyone else – I could tell that they were looking over here, curious what the (as much as it killed me to say it) attractive new girl was doing sitting with me. Not that I was antisocial or anything (well, not _really_), I just imaged that they'd be pretty jealous.

It was like high school all over again.

"No." I saw Nikki's eyes widen slightly in shock, before she saw my shove my chair backwards as I stood up. I turned to face Alice, _finally_, my jaw clenching, as I forced myself not to say one of the thousand thoughts streaming through my head as our eyes met. "You don't have to go, because I _am_."

I turned and left without another word, wordlessly accepting the hand that Nikki intertwined with my own, not giving a crap what conclusions anyone drew, and hoping that I wasn't going to either faint or burst into tears before I reached the doors. Had they always been so far away? Had we really sat that far back? But finally, finally, we were outside, and I managed to somehow not collapse onto the floor like I wanted to, but make my way back to my office without so much as stumbling.

It was quite an achievement for me, if I do say so myself.

"So, still think I couldn't take her?"

"Can we please not talk about her for now? _Please_?" There was more than a hint of desperation in my voice, and I wasn't sure, entirely, where it had come from, but she didn't push the subject any further and instead asked me some completely random question that later I couldn't even remember. But I was so, _so _grateful, once again, that she was there. That she kept me thinking about something else.

I had no idea what I was going to do when she left later.

As it turned out, she nearly didn't leave – after my shift was over and we were walking home, she refused to leave until I insisted that she did. It wasn't that I didn't want her to stay, because I did, but I felt terribly guilty that she'd spent so much time with me over the last couple of days. I knew that she didn't mind, but that didn't ease my mind much, so I told her to go home and that I'd ring her if I started feeling too down.

I wanted, more than anything, to go out, get drunk, and crawl into bed with the first girl I saw. I knew, however, that that really wasn't a good idea. It was a good coping strategy, in the short term, but on a work night… Sometimes, having a responsible mind really sucked.

The folder that I had supposed to have read before that dreaded interview caught my eye as I walked through my front door, and I stared at it for a while before I picked it up, doubting that it would do much harm to just look through it. I was, admittedly, curious about what story she had made up to conveniently end up here. And I figured I may as well learn something about her, seeing as she seemed so determined to be in my life.

She was using the name Alicia, and had apparently grown up in Paris, which was how she became interested in fashion. I soon saw how she was getting around the issue of being recognised later on – she refused to have her picture taken. I didn't really see how she could carry on with that, especially if she kept designing. Because according to the information I had in front of me, she was set to become pretty famous if she carried on at the same rate.

It was useless to me, though. It told me nothing of use – and though I had known that it wouldn't, it still came as a blow. Because, regardless of the fact that I really didn't want to see her, I was still extremely curious as to why she was here.

It was an endless circle, and it was enough to make me want to pull my hair out with frustration.

"Oh, fuck it." I knew it was a bad idea – but I was going out anyway. I didn't call Nikki, knowing that she'd try and talk me out of it, or come with me, and I wasn't really in the mood for being sociable tonight.

* * *

I ended up in the same club I'd been to with Angela, and, after however many shots of whatever I'd asked the bartender for, I was showcasing my God-awful dancing skills. That was how I knew I was _drunk_ – because I was actually dancing, and, for once, I didn't _care_.

The music made my head throb, and the lights made my eyes burn, but I had no desire to leave. My mind was blissfully fuzzy, almost blank, my inhibitions pretty much non-existent. If I had wanted to go home with someone, I was definitely past it now – if the dancing hadn't put them off, then the fact that I couldn't focus for long enough on anyone's faces was enough to ensue that _I _kept my hands to myself.

I was distantly aware that I should be leaving soon, but as I turned to get off the dance floor and go to the toilets – something about cold water helping to sober up tickling the back of my mind – I tripped, and I saw the floor getting closer and closer by the second until I was caught by a pair of hands.

They felt cold. Colder than they should be in a place this hot, and I shivered at the touch as they set me back on my feet. I remembered something about cold hands – and when my saviour moved to stand in front of me, I put that together with the height and the hair and the eyes, and I took a step backwards, nearly falling again at the sudden movement. Her hand caught my arm again, and though I flinched away, she didn't let go.

"Bella, please. I know that you don't want to talk to me, but at least let me help you home. Otherwise, you won't get there." Her voice was soft, pleading, and I didn't have the will (or ability), to argue with her, so I merely nodded dumbly and let her pull me towards the door.

The journey back to my apartment was just a blur were I was aware only of her arms keeping me upright, and the drizzling rain falling on my face, cooling me down.

I didn't think of how she knew the way to my apartment, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know the way anyway. She took my key from my bag when we reached the door, and looked like she was deliberating whether or not to cross the threshold or whether to leave me to my own devices. But when she released her hold on me and I teetered dangerously, her decision was made.

With a sigh, she pulled my through the door and led me to my bedroom, making a brief stop at the kitchen where she handed me a glass of water and two tablets.

I saw her turn and leave my bedroom after she'd deposited me on my bed, but then I must have passed out because the next thing I knew, my alarm was waking me up, and when I cracked one eye open, bright light was streaming through my window.

I sat up, expecting a wave of pain that didn't come, and saw that a note was lying on the pillow next to me:

_Bella, _

_I won't be in work today, because, as you can doubtless see, it's sunny today. But I'd still really like to talk to you – I know that you're angry, and that I don't have a right to be here, but please, just hear me out. _

_One talk, and then I'll be gone. _

_I promise. _

_Meet me in the park down the street at six o clock tomorrow. _

_Please. _

_Alice. _

**A/N: **

**Hey there! Sorry this took a little longer than usual; I had a teensy case of writer's block. So, if this chapter is worse than the others, I apologise profusely. **

**It may seem like Bella's gone of the rails a bit, but I assure you, it won't last for long. **

**And I promise that the next chapter will have more Alice. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

The park where I was supposed to meet Alice was deserted when I walked through the green gates that fenced it off from the surrounding urban area. It was a small splash of colour on an otherwise built-up city skyline. Nothing on Hyde Park or anything of the sort, but I often came down here when I wanted to relax, or even just to think. There was something about the seclusion offered by the trees that calmed me. Maybe it simply reminded me of home.

I had little idea of where she would be, exactly, but I knew she would find me wherever I chose to go. So I made my way over to the swings, a spot that had become a favourite of mine whenever there were few people around.

I sat on one of the swings and wrapped my arms around the chains, swinging half-heartedly. I couldn't map the exact train of thoughts that had brought me here, but all day at work her letter had haunted me, consumed my every thought, and had been pretty damn inescapable.

Maybe that was why I had found myself treading the familiar path when the time came, simply to get some relief. I doubted that was the sole reason, though – I was still desperate for answers.

I had always been curious, that curiosity getting me into trouble more often than not. My fascination with Edward and all that it had led to was proof enough of that.

I didn't want to know if there was another underlying reason that had drawn me here. Thinking like that wouldn't do any good.

The night was dark, the stars above muted by the city lights, clouds covering the sky in a thin layer. The winter air was cool and I shivered despite of the layers I was wearing, drawing my coat tighter against myself. It was quiet apart from the sound of the occasional car speeding by, music pounding from within, but in a sudden silence I heard the slight rustle in some trees behind me and whirled around, startled as I saw a shape emerge from within the shadows, unable to stop the reaction even though I knew who would be stood there.

And sure enough, when the shape stepped into the light cast by a nearby streetlight, her form was unmistakable. I didn't look at her face straight away, instead concentrating on her clothes, trying to prepare myself. She wore an unneeded coat, her hands (nervously?) stuffed inside the pockets as she came to lean against the frame of the swing that I sat heavily back down on, mentally cursing myself from jumping up so quickly before.

"You came." Her voice was quiet in the night, barely above a whisper, and her eyes watched me carefully, as though I would turn and run at any moment. I wondered what she would do if I did – would she stop me?

"I would have thought that you'd already know whether I would or not. You are psychic, after all." I wasn't really in the mood for small talk, wanting this conversation to be over as soon as possible. "What do you want, Alice? Or should I call you Alicia now?"

"Alice. I ask everyone to call me Alice. Alicia is merely my official name. You can never be too careful, after all."

"You're stalling." It wasn't a question, because I knew she was. And I knew I was right for sure when I heard her soft sigh and her eyes flickered downwards, avoiding my gaze.

"I'm here because I had a vision." Her eyes darted back up to my face, assessing my reaction, but I kept my face carefully blank, waiting for her to continue. "You remember Victoria, don't you?" At the mention of the name, I shuddered involuntarily – those few months when I had known she had been after me had been terrifying. After a while, the wolves had stopped seeing her, and then, when I'd moved, I'd left all of that behind me. And now, apparently, more of my past coming to haunt me.

"Yeah. I remember." I didn't really think that an answer was required, given my reaction, but I figured my silence must have been why she wasn't carrying on with her story.

"Well… I wasn't spying on you or anything Bella, I swear. But the first few months, after we left, I kept getting visions of Victoria, of her coming for you. I wanted to come back, knew that she'd kill you because you were defenceless against her without us there to protect you, but Edward wouldn't let me interfere."

Her mouth twisted as she said his name, and I was immediately curious as to what the reason for her expression was. Did that mean they weren't talking? Was she annoyed with him?

But I forced myself to stay silent, to let her carry on, biting my tongue to stop the flood of questions – I could ask her when she was done, if she didn't answer them herself, without any prompting from me.

"So I just had to console myself with my visions of you. And then you… You disappeared. I was convinced that you were dead, because really, what other explanation could there be? Laurent came after you, and then there was… nothing. I couldn't see anything. Then afterwards, I saw you again. How did you get away from him?"

"The… The wolves saved me."

"Wolves?"

"On the Reservation. Werewolves. They fight vampires. Jacob's one. Jacob Black. He and the others saved me. Kept Victoria at bay as well."

"Of _course_. That explains everything…" She cut off and started pacing around the swings, muttering to herself. She got her phone out of her pocket and looked like she was going to make a call before her eyes met mine again. She dropped the phone back into her pocket and came to sit beside me this time, her eyes gaining intensity as she carried on speaking. They were so similar to his, so, _so_ similar, and yet completely different. The same golden hue, a colour that at one point, I could have happily drowned in. But even now, I couldn't look away, captivated as I was by her gaze – regardless of the fact that I didn't _want _to be.

"Well, I panicked, obviously, when you disappeared. At least now I know why you did… When it kept happening, I still worried, but then you'd reappear again and it would be alright. But that's not why I'm here, Not exactly…

"Victoria stopped attacking, after a few months, and she went somewhere else – I'm not sure where – before she went back to Forks. By that time, you'd already moved here, so I wasn't too concerned. She didn't realise that you'd gone, because she couldn't get close enough. So she started building an army.

"Newborn vampires are volatile, uncontrollable, and violent. The amount of deaths in Seattle were appalling. After a few months of this, the Volturi – did Edward mention them to you, ever?"

The name tickled the back of my memory, but that was all. My repression of those days had eradicated almost every memory tainted by him, and I wasn't willing to dig any deeper than I had to.

"I don't remember." I muttered, tersely, and she nodded as though she had expected the answer. Then again, she probably had.

"Well, they're a… government, of sorts. For vampires. They protect us from being discovered. Now, obviously, a mass killing spree in Seattle is going to attract their attention, because it's glaring obvious, after a while, that no human could be doing so much damage. And they're aware of the signs of a newborn army, after there were wars across the World a couple of hundred years ago.

"Anyway, the Volturi went to Seattle, and Victoria fled. She's been on the run ever since, and they haven't managed to catch her. It's only because of this that she hasn't managed to find you – she's been laying low.

"But about a month ago, I had a vision – of Victoria being found by the Volturi and having her mind read before she was killed. It hasn't happened yet, I think it's in like, a week or something, but that's not the point. The Volturi only uphold one rule – don't tell humans that we exist. And when they read her mind, they're going to find out about you, about how much you know, and about the fact that you were involved with one of us. And then they'll come for you."

"What… What do you mean, they'll come for me?" I had listened fairly calmly from the start of her story, but the final part made me panic slightly. I didn't like the thought of a vampire government coming anywhere near me, and from the tone of Alice's voice, I _knew _it wasn't a good thing.

"They'll come to find you, and they'll kill you. They can't condone humans knowing of our existence."

"So why are you here?"

"Seriously? You think I could just stand by, knowing what was going to happen to you and not _care_? Do you honestly think that I'm that much of a monster? That I could just watch you _die_? Know about it, even, know in order to try and save you, and do _nothing_?" Her voice cracked and her eyes flashed with an emotion that was unidentifiable. But I couldn't comprehend what she was saying, not really.

"But you… You left. You didn't come back. You… If you cared, you wouldn't have gone."

"I would have stayed." She glanced away, staring at something in the distance and the silence stretched between us as I waited for her to speak once again. "I wanted to stay. But Edward… My brother is an idiot. The biggest _fucking _idiot to walk the earth." I'd never heard her curse before, and hearing her do so in a derogatory manner to him made me smile in spite of myself.

"What, he forbade you to come back?"

"Something like that."

"So, why are you here now? If he didn't want you coming back when Victoria would kill me, then…"

"Before, I had loyalties at home. My whole family wanted to stand by his wishes. Jasper… Jasper didn't want me to interfere, either." Once again, her voice twisted when she said the name, but this was more a grimace of pain rather than disgust. I wondered whether it was my place to ask her what had happened, and decided that no, it wasn't. And anyway, I shouldn't want to know. I just wanted to hear what she had to say before sending her on her way.

Right?

"You still haven't answered my question. Not really."

"I don't want you to die, Bella. So I'm here to help you. If you'll let me."

"And how, exactly, do you propose that you help me?"

"You haven't told anyone about our existence so far, the Volturi will see that. The only explanation that they'll accept for that would be if you were destined to be one of us one day." I bit my lip as the reminder of what I could have had was trust in front of me once more. Immortality mightn't have been a blessing for Edward, but I had honestly wanted to spend the rest of eternity with him. Now, of course, I would take the chance to become a vampire purely so that I could wipe him from the face of the earth permanently after what he'd done, but even so, Alice's words stung slightly.

"And how is that going to happen?"

"I'll have a vision, and Aro – the mind reader and their leader – will see it and presume it to definitely come true."

"They won't believe that. Who's going to change me? He'll know that you don't intend to stay, and that Edward doesn't want anything to do with me. They'll see straight through it."

"Not if we make it believable."

"How?" She looked away again, her teeth ensnaring her bottom lip tightly. "Alice?" I asked, after she'd been silent for a good few minutes. She turned to face me again, indecision raging clearly in her eyes. And I, for some God unknown reason, wanted to reassure her, wanted to take that indecision away, and that thought shook me to the core, because I hadn't wanted to feel anything other than mild annoyance towards her for intruding on my life.

And yet, she was trying to _help _me. I didn't doubt her story, not for a second. She had no reason to lie to me, no ulterior motive unless she wanted to hurt me more. But I didn't believe that. Didn't believe that she was capable of it - had seen, from the few times that she'd given emotions away, that she felt little loyalty towards her brother.

But that didn't help me. Not at all. Because I was getting drawn in, I could feel it already. Annoyance had already given way to compassion, and I couldn't risk going anything further than that. Friendship, even, could be getting into dangerous territory. Vampires, I knew, were dangerous. Dangerous and seductive. And yet, I knew I couldn't turn her away.

And I also know that I would curse the fact that I had agreed to meet with her for a long, long time after this night was done.

"If," she finally said, taking a deep breath, "If they thought that _I _would change you, if they saw in a vision me changing you, then they wouldn't doubt us."

"But… That can't be faked, can it?"

"It can if they thought we were together." Another moment of silence as I let her words sink into my brain, let myself process what she'd said. Because surely, _surely_, I must have misheard. She _must _have been joking.

Mustn't she?

"I… What?" Call me stupid for barely even being able to string two words together, but she'd left me completely disarmed. I'd come her expecting to yell at her, and now she was saying that in order to save my life, an ancient group of vampires would have to believe that we were in a relationship.

Looked like my bad luck was coming back full-force.

"I know that you don't like me very much right now. Hell, if I were you _I _wouldn't like me very much right now. But I can't let them hurt you. I _won't_, even if it kills me. It's my fault that this all happened, and I can't be responsible for your death like that.

"So let me do this for you. Let me help you, let me stop you from dying ridiculously young. You deserve so much more. Let me undo what my brother started all that time ago. What I _helped _him do all that time ago. And when they've gone, I'll leave. I don't doubt that that's what you want me to do. I know you probably already want me gone, but please, Bella. Just this one thing. Let me do this one thing."

She'd started pacing again, and her eyes were fierce when they locked with mine once again… God, she had to stop with those eyes.

"I… I don't know what to say. Honestly. I mean… Obviously, I'm not suicidal, but this seems like a huge risk – for you as well as me. I don't suppose that running swiftly away is a good enough plan?"

"Sadly not." I couldn't help but feel a slight burst of pride at the brief smile that flashed across her face, and then immediately cursed myself for exactly the same thing. _Concentrate, Bella. Jesus. _

"Worth a shot though, right? Um, so, how do we go about making this 'believable'?" A mysterious smile graced her lips then, one that I didn't like the look of much at all.

If only because it scared the shit out of me.

"Well, we've got around a month to figure that out."

x-x-x

"You're going to have to figure out a story, you know." Alice's voice startled me out of the reverie I'd found myself in as we were walking back to my apartment. She'd asked if she could walk me there, and I'd agreed, still a little stunned to say no.

"What?"

"For your friends. About why we're suddenly talking. Well, _friend_. That one that you brought to work with you today. The… over-friendly one." She made a face, as though mentioning Nikki was some sort of chore, and I couldn't help grinning in response. So she'd noticed. And I couldn't help worming in a little teasing – after all, she'd told me that I could be dead in a month. It was the least I could do.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous." I smirked as I came to a stop outside the door of my building, leaning my back against the wall so I could see her expression.

"Oh, please," she scoffed, but I couldn't help noticing that she didn't deny it. "You still need a story, though."

"I'll think of something. As long as she knows I'm alright, then she won't mind. She's just a little over-protective."

"I'm sure."

"Thanks for taking care of me last night, by the way. I, um, apologise for being so out of it."

"It's the least I could do, after everything."

"It's not your fault, you know. It's not your fault he's such a dick." She raised in eyebrow in surprise – had she not expected me to harbour as much hatred as I did for her brother?

"Maybe not, but I still left with the others. If I'd have known where I'd be in four years, then I _would _have stayed."

"What? Why?"

"I… Now's not the time. Let's just say that things have changed within our family since we left you behind. I presume that there's no love lost between you and Edward, then?"

"No. I could rattle off a list of insults in regards to him, but I won't. He's your brother, after all. Besides, I wouldn't want to scare you off. You might not want to save me."

"I don't think that's likely to happen anytime soon." I couldn't believe how easy it was for me to talk to her, but at the same time, I did resent it, just a little. Was it really just that easy for me to forget everything?

Apparently.

"Anyway, please don't call him my brother again." _That _got my attention, and she must have seen my shock because she gave me a wry smile. "I told you, now's not the time. I'll explain all though, I promise. Someday."

"Ok," I murmured after a moment of hesitation. I was reluctant to let the matter drop, fearing, irrationally (or maybe not, all things considered), that she would disappear after today and I'd never find out the things that I so desperately wanted to know. "But tell me this – even if the Volturi buy this thing, aren't they going to check up on me a few years down the line?"

"Look, Bella, I don't want you to worry about this too much. Please. We've got time. Just… try not to think about it too much. Or are you still as much of a worrier as you always have been?"

"Of course I am. Once a worrier, always a worrier." She smiled softly, but there was something else in her expression – regret? Or was that just me being silly? Well, whatever it was, it was something that she didn't want me to see, because her expression was blank when I next looked at her. Then her eyes glazed over and she was silent. I stood there for a second, wondering if I should panic or not, having not been around her when she had a vision in so long, but I forced myself to stay put. It could, after all, be something relating to me.

"I should go," she said when she came to, her voice rushed as she glanced over her shoulder before taking a few steps backwards.

"Wait, why? What did you see?" She looked torn but she didn't move, instead she sighed and held up a hand when I began to speak again.

"Bella? Hey, I was looking for you. What are you doing out – what is _she _doing here?" It was Nikki, approaching from the left side of the building, fury tainting her voice when she saw Alice standing near me. She came to a stop at my side, her hands clenched into fists as she glared at my companion.

"That," was all Alice said before she winked at me and turned on her heel, walking away into the night. I stared after her until she'd disappeared, before reluctantly turning to face my friend.

"What the _fuck_, Bella?"

**A/N: **

**So, there you go. Information overload. I wasn't sure what direction to go in regarding Alice's appearance in Bella's life, but this is the one I decided to go with. Good or bad? Tell me if you want to. I'll give you virtual cookies. :)**

**And everyone who reviewed, as always, you are all awesome. Extremely awesome. :D **


	5. Chapter 5

"Can we please not do this right now?" I don't know what look was on my face, but I imagined it couldn't be a good one – the weight of Alice's words was just starting to hit me, the implications making me want to sleep for a very, very long time.

"I'm worried about you, Bella."

"What?" I sighed, realising I couldn't just make a dash for the stairs of my building – she'd definitely catch up with me.

"You heard. You didn't want anything to do with that girl the other day. Now, you're what, going out for romantic walks in the moonlight?"

"No. _No_. It wasn't like that. She just… Had to explain some things. Just drop it. _Please_."

"But I - "

"_No_!" I held up a hand to silence her, my eyes flashing with that dangerous anger that sometimes came to the surface when I was really pissed off. Like now, for example.

Sleepy and stressed Bella was cranky, alright.

"Jesus, calm down." I glared at her, and she held her hands up in an apologetic gesture. "Alright, I'm sorry. And I'll let it go… For now."

"Thank you," I said, as I stepped past her, subtly inching my closer to the entrance to the building, and praying that she wouldn't ask to come in and talk.

"Want me to come up with you?"

_Damn_.

"No, I'm good. I'm actually planning on heading straight to bed and passing out... I'll ring you tomorrow though, yeah? And we can go out for drinks or something." I felt kind of bad for pushing her away, especially when she was always there for me, but if I didn't sleep soon, I was going to kill someone. It had been pretty hard to come by lately.

"Alright. See you then." A brief look of disappointment flashed across her face, the last expression I saw before I turned away. I went to bed fully clothed, without the will or the energy to change into my pyjamas, and I embraced unconsciousness happily, glad that it would give me relief from my thoughts, if only for a little while.

x-x-x

"There's one thing I'm curious about… That letter you left me. You never really were going to leave, were you?" She grinned, and I saw some of her cheerful, playful character come back to her in that moment – a flash of the person that I had used to know.

It was two days later, and we were in my apartment, chatting about meaningless things. Well, until I managed to steer it to more pressing matters.

"Nope. But I knew that if I said that you'd only have to meet with me once, that you'd be more inclined to meet with me."

She'd been speaking to me more and more at work lately, and it hadn't, much to my surprise, been too much of a chore. I was quickly remembering why we had been such great friends, all that time ago.

"So, you lied?"

"I… It was in your best interest if I lied. But yes, if you want to look at it like that, then I did."

"Well, then, I think that because of that, you owe me." I'd been working up to this for a while, desperate to find out more about why she was here, and, more importantly, alone.

"Well, that depends what, exactly, I owe you." She was obviously wary, but I figured it was now or never.

"I want to know what happened between you and your family." She didn't say anything for a long time, her eyes finding the window, but I stayed and waited, as patiently as I could.

"I… I won't tell you everything. Not yet. But… What, specifically, do you want to know?"

"Edward?"

"Pass." Upon seeing my frown, she smiled, very slightly, and simply said, "I told you. Not everything. That's something I don't want to go into for a little while yet."

"Jasper?" An expression akin to a grimace passed over her features at the mention of his name, which only made me curious; though I was already sure what he reply was going to be.

"Pass."

"Oh, come on."

"I'll tell you about all the others, though."

"That's not nearly as interesting."

"Well, that's all you're getting."

"Fine," I sighed, drawing my knees up to my chest. "Do you still talk to them all?"

"Not as much as I probably should. Like I said, things have changed… Something happened with Jasper, and then something happened between me and Edward. As a result, things are very… divided, so I try not to make things any more difficult for them. I tried to stay at home, for a while – Esme and Carlisle have a house in Russia, and me and Edward stayed with them, and Rose and Emmet had a house a little way away."

"Russia?"

"It's a beautiful country. Cold, for humans, in the winter, but perfect for us. It was Esme's idea – the architecture there has always fascinated her."

"And Jasper?"

"Hasn't lived with us for just under a year. He didn't come to Russia with us." I didn't push anymore, trying to respect that she didn't want to tell me, in the hope that she would just that little bit sooner.

"But anyway, when I started having these visions about Victoria… Things became very strained between Edward and me. Eventually, something happened between the two of us, something which I'll get to at a later date, and it made it very difficult for us to be around each other. I was very angry, and him even more so.

"I left, after a while… Esme and Carlisle tried to be neutral, but I knew they didn't really want me to come out here. They wanted you safe, obviously, but they wanted to try a different approach… Get you somewhere else, for example, somewhere hidden, anonymously."

"Would that work?"

"I don't know," she said it a little too quickly, but it wasn't something I registered immediately. "It'd be risky. Even more so that this, so… Rosalie took my side because she disagreed with Edward, but Emmet was with Edward, and that made thing strained between _them_, so I left."

"Where did you go?"

"I travelled, for a little while. I had to keep track of Victoria, of course, but I wasn't idiotic enough to go after her alone. I wanted to - you have no idea how much - but I wouldn't have a chance against her. Not alone. I considered going to the Volturi, as well, to tell them where she was, to eradicate the threat she was to you, in the beginning, but that, too, would reveal how much you knew. So I could do nothing but wait."

The doorbell to my apartment rang, and I jumped, having been completely entranced by her story and her words.

"It's your friend." She murmured, sounding slightly annoyed, and she made to stand up as I did, presumably to make her escape.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't think that it's a good idea for me to be here while she is, Bella."

"Well, I do. Come in!" She shot me a furious look but Nikki strode into the room at the same moment, meaning that there was no chance of her escaping.

Nikki's eyes flickered over to Alice, then to me, and I hoped the slight smile that was on my face was enough to dilute any remaining anger that she might've held towards me after I'd refused to explain what Alice and I had spoken of on that fateful night.

"Bella, Alice… I'm actually glad you're here. There are some things that I'd like to talk about."

"Uh, what?" She was kind of making me nervous, and I didn't like that feeling, and I also didn't like the look she had on her face. But Nikki's eyes were fixed on Alice, not me, with only filled me with further trepidation.

"You're not who you say you are, are you, Alice?" I froze, and cursed whoever was listening for granting me with a friend who just wouldn't leave things be. Alice's eyes flashed with a dangerous glint, no doubt offended at the accusation, true as it may be.

"And why's that?"

"It was pretty hard to find any information on you. But I pieced some things together. You didn't grow up in Paris. You couldn't have, if you knew Bella before she moved out here. You've fabricated a name for yourself; you're a liar. And I wanted Bella to know that." She turned to look at me, a triumphant look on her face. I shot a look at Alice to gauge her reaction, but her face was carefully blank, wiped of all emotion.

"You're right. I didn't. I grew up in the States. And Bella already knew that."

"Then why lie?"

"Because, _Nikki_," she hissed the name, her mouth curling slightly as though it burned her to address her directly, and the unmistakable fury simmering beneath her calmly controlled exterior began to shine through to me. I'd have to stop their argument soon enough – I didn't want a loss of control to ruin everything. "In case you haven't noticed, it's almost impossible to make it in the fashion industry. Having a background of living in a city considered on of the fashion capitals of the world gave me the edge I needed to break through."

"You shouldn't have lied. If you make it big, people are going to find out."

"I don't plan on making it 'big'. I just want to get some of my designs out there. And I plan to stay in the shadows. Are you done with your interrogation, now?" Alice snapped, and I saw her hands shake slightly - just slightly, but enough for me to know that, along with the gradual darkening of her eyes over the days, told me that she should hunt soon.

And the sooner the better, really.

"If you've lied about that, then what else have you lied about? Why are you here? Why _now_?" I'd had enough by that point, and I stepped forward delicately, acutely aware that I was now in the middle of the two of them. I narrowed my eyes at Nikki but my words were to Alice when I spoke.

"I think you should leave us alone for a minute, Alice." She said nothing more but I heard the soft click of her heels on my wooden floor, and then the sound of the door opening and closing. I rounded on Nikki immediately.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Looking out for you! Do you even know why she's here? And I mean, the whole story? Not half-truths? Because I don't understand why you're now suddenly all buddy-buddy with her. I thought you hated her."

"No. I hate Edward. Not her."

"You didn't seem so happy when she turned up. Explain that, then."

"Why do you even care?" We were practically shouting now, my voice raising in volume as I got more and more worked up – I didn't like others questioning my actions, especially when I was so unsure of them myself. It was a flaw, but it was one I doubted I would ever be rid of.

"Because I care about you!" She screamed back, and she took several steps closer, her breathing heavy. "I care about you. And I don't want to see you hurt. And I _care _about you."

"You already said that."

"Because you're not hearing me." The next second, she'd stepped even closer to me, and then, she was kissing me, her mouth hot against my own. "I care about you," she murmured against my lips when we broke apart, and I could only stand, stunned, for a moment, everything clicking into place – slowly, but eventually, I understood. Slightly.

"Nikki, I… I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," she muttered, darkly, turning away from me. I heard the slight catch in her voice, though, and I knew she was upset. I'd honestly had no idea she had feelings for me - if I had, there was no way I would've led her on so much. "I already knew you don't feel the same way. I just thought that you should know."

"How… How long?"

"Long enough." She started to make her way over to the door, and I almost called out for her to stay, before deciding that it wouldn't be such a good idea. "Just… Just make sure that you know everything about your _friend_."

And then she was gone leaving me standing, still stunned, in the middle of my apartment, wondering how everything could fuck itself up so fantastically in just a few short days.

I sighed and sat down on my couch, resting my head in my hands, and realising, regretfully, that Nikki _did _actually have a bit of a point.

I didn't know everything about why Alice was here. Not really. Aside from the stuff with her family, which I could deal with not knowing, for now – I couldn't help but have the creeping suspicion, now that I was thinking it all through, that Alice was being completely honest with me.

Surely the Volturi would be powerful. Powerful enough to see through deceit. And that would be exactly what me and Alice would be doing – deceiving them into thinking that we were in a relationship.

A viable one.

And it just didn't make sense to me, right then, of how, exactly we were going to pull that of, and most importantly, pull it off successfully. And yet, Alice had seemed so certain.

No, there was definitely something she wasn't telling me.

Just as I had that thought, I heard the sound of a gentle knock on the door before it opened and Alice came into my view, looking much calmer than she had when she'd left. I sprang to my feet, looking at her with suspicious eyes.

"Have fun with your friend?" She asked the question lightly, though I knew she'd seen the look on my face, knew that she had probably already had a vision of this and knew _exactly_ what I was going to say before I said it. Even so, I wasn't letting her go without some answers.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You can't be so sure. That they won't kill me. So how are you?"

"I'm not. Like I said - " But I cut her off, knowing, form her obvious deflecting, that there was indeed something to be discovered here.

"No. I want you to tell me the truth. After everything, you at least owe me that much. I don't care what it is. _I don't care. _Just _tell _me why you're so reluctant to tell me how you're so certain that this will work. That I won't… That they won't kill me. _Please_." A million emotions flickered over her face before her eyes softened and she took a step closer.

"Bella…"

"No. _Tell. Me._" I was getting irrationally angry, it was true, but out of everything that had been happening lately - Alice's news of the danger I could be potentially be in, Nikki's reaction and consequential revelation, just _everything_ - my emotions towards her were the only thing I could control.

And, as such, I took it all out on her.

I didn't even want to know, not really, because I knew she must have a pretty good reason for not saying it in the first place, but there, in that moment, I didn't care. I just wanted some semblance of control… s_omething _to hold on to.

"I… I know that it'll work because in my vision… We weren't pretending to be together. We _were _together." It looked like it pained her to say the words, though I couldn't say why, not when my head was spinning, not when I could barely process what she'd said – never mind _believe _it.

"I don't understand."

"Bella, please, just… It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you'll be safe."

"What you're saying. That matters! You… You mean to say that when they come… We'll be together? In a _relationship_?" My voice was strained, and I wanted, desperately, for her to call me stupid for suggesting such a thing, to say that she was merely joking, but I could tell my the expression on her face that I would get no such comfort. That was my confirmation – she didn't have to say a word.

"No. No. I… I'm sorry. I have to go." I spun around and lurched to the door, wrenching it open as best as I could with my shaking hands, and slamming it shut behind me. The fact that it was my own apartment was irrelevant - I needed to get out of there, away from her.

"Bella, wait!" I heard her shout from behind the door, but I turned and was gone, not wanting to risk her opening the door and coming to find me.

I knew that her visions were subjective, and if they were, if we weren't going to be believed… Then that meant I was going to die.

And yet, the alternative was almost as terrifying. Edward had completely destroyed me, and it had taken me years to repair that damage. To let someone else back in, someone so similar?

I had little doubt that that would destroy me, too.

I knew that Alice wasn't the same as him, but that didn't change much. She was still a vampire. And that, in the end, had been the original problem. So, nothing had changed there.

Why did I have to lose everything, and all at once? Yesterday, sure, I might've been worried about the whole possible-death thing, but at least I could've turned to my best friend and have her take my mind of it, regardless of the fact that I couldn't tell her _why_, exactly, I was so worked up.

But now, I didn't even have that small comfort.

I just needed some time to think – to think about everything. Could I really, realistically, see myself in a relationship with her? And, if I couldn't… If I couldn't bear to let her in…

Was fighting it worth dying for?

**A/N: **

**I am so terribly sorry for the long wait. And the shortness of this chapter. Life's been intruding upon my writing time lately… Being in my final year of college means, unfortunately, exams in January. **

**Hopefully, I'll be able to update more quickly next time but don't hold me to that. **

**I hope this chapter cleared a couple of things up… If you loved it, hated it, I'd love to hear it. :) **


	6. Chapter 6

_It was dark in my apartment, nothing but candlelight to guide me into my bedroom. The glow grew gradually brighter as I made my way forward, the light flickering gently, and I could see a shadow in front of me, just beyond the doorway of my room, and, strangely I felt no fear. I felt… content. Even though I didn't immediately recognise the stranger. _

_As I stepped through the door, a small, lithe body pressed me back against the wall, gentle hands on my waist, fingers barely brushing the brief strip of skin that was visible where my shirt ended and my jeans began, and a pair of ice cold, though extremely soft, lips sought out my own. _

_I returned the kiss eagerly, my hands threading through short, soft hair, in an effort to keep that heavenly mouth on my own for as long as I possibly could. I didn't care about oxygen; at that moment, it didn't matter. All that mattered was the person pressed close against me. _

_I shivered, despite my now-flushed skin, and a soft gasp escaped my lips as one of those hands reached behind me to cup my ass, bringing a thigh in-between my own. I groaned as said thigh moved to grind against me and into my centre, and my head fell back against the wall, oxygen now a necessity. _

_My breathing was ragged, and it wasn't helped any by the fact that those lips were now trailing down the side of my neck – cold as ice, but leaving a blazing fire in their wake. My heart was pounding in my ears, and when teeth grazed softly against my pulse point, my head spun and my knees shook, and a soft chuckle emitted from the girl in front of me. _

"_Shall we move this over to the bed?" A velvet voice asked me, a mere whisper in my ear, full of want, and need, and desire – the promise of things yet to come. I could only nod as teeth grazed my earlobe, just with the right amount of pressure to make my legs shake again, and the hands wrapped around me tightened, as though afraid I might fall. _

_I finally opened my eyes, titling my head forward again, wanting to capture her lips once more, and my eyes connected with ones of a deep, molten golden, swirling with emotion. I took in the wild, wanting look in those eyes, the dishevelled look of her hair from where I'd run my fingers through it, and the rapid rise and fall of her chest as she breathed in unnecessary air. _

"_Alice," I murmured as she finally kissed me, my head beginning to spin once more as I allowed her to pull me towards the bed, our bodies pressed flush against each other the whole time as her knees hit the back of the bed, causing her to fall backwards and for me to land on top of her, my knees on either side of her body, straddling her waist… _

And that was when I woke up, sweating and startled, in my own bed, my mind racing and my heart pounding almost as much as it had been in that stupid dream. My breath came out in quick gasps, as I was suddenly breathless – I could believe that I'd had _another _stupid sex dream.

Because it had been happening all week.

Apparently, it was too much to ask to get a decent night's sleep, without waking up a sweaty mess, with an uncomfortable, and highly _irritating,_ ache in-between my legs.

And not only that, I was also furious with myself. My subconscious mind was quite the masochist, I was coming to find out, and it was with a groan that I rolled out of bed, glancing at the clock and seeing with dismay that I still had another two hours before I was due to be at work.

Stupid, stupid, idiotic dreams.

I blamed Alice almost as much as myself – not that she'd done anything to provoke my mind. Well, other than being pretty damn se –

No, Bella, no. Alice wasn't sexy. Alice was just... Alice. Just another vampire. Another vampire who, apparently, I was supposed to be getting into a serious relationship with sometime soon.

Seriously. All I ever wanted was a _normal _life, and what do I get?

_This. _

She'd been avoiding me all week, ever since the big revelation – and what I suspected to be the cause of my dreams. I'd seen her at work, but only briefly – whenever she saw me, she'd quickly disappear on some sort of 'business'. It was like I'd dreamed of when I'd first learned that I'd have to put up with her presence – except now, ironically, I actually _wanted _to talk to her.

It was kind of important, really, when you thought about it. I mean, when she'd first revealed her reason for being here, she'd told me that we had a month before the Volturi came looking for me. However, now around half of the time had passed, and I was no closer to being safe than I had been before.

I climbed into the shower with a contented sigh, letting the scalding water wash away any remnants of the dream from my skin, knowing that I had plenty of time to just stand and think. I often did a lot of thinking in the shower, allowing my mind to wander. It relaxed me, for some relatively unknown reason, but I wasn't going to question anything that was going to help me get through all of this.

I was distantly aware of the phone ringing from my bedroom, but I was unwilling to leave the shower just yet and assumed that if it were really important, they'd leave me a message. Besides – were they not aware of the absolutely _ridiculous _hour of the morning?

I had no idea how long I stayed in that shower for, but it was long enough for me to start sweating again under the intense heat, and for the skin on my fingers to start to wrinkle, so regretfully I turned off the water and wrapped a towel around myself before heading back into my room.

I ran a towel through my hair before checking my phone, realising excitedly that it had been Angela that had rang me. I had filled her in, sorta, on what was going on with Alice, using the excuse that she thought I could be in danger from Edward. It hadn't worked as well as I'd liked – if Angela's threats to get on a plane and 'fly her ass back over there to kick his sorry ass herself' were anything to go by. I had eventually managed to talk her into staying where she was, promising that I'd keep her updated, and to let her have free reign if Edward ever tried anything.

"Do you have any idea what time it is over here? You woke me up." I didn't bother with any usual greeting – we were far too close for that now.

"No, I did _not_."

"How do you know? Installed cameras in here when you visited?"

"Please. And capture all your sordid little escapades on camera? No, thank _you_. I could do without the mental scarring." I grinned, cheering up in spite of myself – just talking to Ange always had that affect. It was times like these that I regretted we didn't live closer to each other. "And I know I didn't wake you up because you're cranky when you get woken up."

"I am not."

"Yes, you are. Do you not remember that time that I was visiting and I could sleep?"

"You made a cocktail. At three in the morning."

"Hey, copious amounts of vodka make me sleepy! Anyway, it woke you up, and I swear to God, Bella, I have never seen anyone look as murderous as you did in that moment. I feared for my life."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Besides, that cocktail shaker was _loud_. You have no-one to blame but yourself."

"I did! And it's not _my_ fault you chose to buy the noisiest one." As I laughed with her, I felt myself start to ease up a little more, and I asked the regular questions – how she was, how things were going – in the hope that I could stall her asking about Alice for a little while longer.

"Everything's fine here. Boring as ever – oh! You'll never guess who called me the other day. Ben."

"_Really?"_ Angela and Ben had broken up during their first year at college – I had been surprised, because really, those two had seemed perfect for each other. I don't think anyone, even those two themselves, really understand _why _they'd broken up, but I suspected it had a little something to do with college experimentation and realising that staying with the same person from high school until old age was a pretty daunting thing. Either way, it'd been an amicable break-up, but they'd lost touch over recent years.

"Yup. He wants to meet up. I told him I'd think about it – what do you think I should do?" I knew then that this was why she'd called me, knowing that it would be so early – it was instinct to ring the other immediately for advice when we were unsure of what to do.

"I say go for it. I mean, it won't harm anyone, will it? Unless you don't _want _to go." I knew there must be something else nagging at her – otherwise she would have accepted the invitation without talking to me first.

"I don't know. Won't it be weird? I mean, we haven't seen each other for years…" She trailed off, and I realised had eerily similar her and my situations were. I nearly laughed, but decided that it wasn't worth the questions she would ask me.

"Maybe so, but you won't know if you don't try. Just give him a chance – you might have an awful time, or you might have an awesome one. I'd say it's worth the risk, wouldn't you?"

"See, I _knew_ you'd be able to convince me what was the right thing to do."

"It's because I'm awesome."

It was such a damn shame that I wasn't as good at giving _myself _advice as I was at giving Angela some.

"So, how are things with Alice?"

"Alright." I made a face at the mention of her name – not that Angela could see it. "She hasn't spoken to me for a while."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"I guess."

"You _want _to talk to her, don't you?"

"I just… yeah, ok. I want to talk to her."

"Then _do _it. I mean, seriously, how hard can it be?" I smothered a laugh again because really, Ange had no _idea _how hard it could be. As it was, I just decided to agree with her, knowing that that would be the easiest way to steer conversation onto other topics.

"Oh, and what about Nikki?"

"…You couldn't have just skipped to a topic that didn't involve the women in my life right now?"

"Nope. This is your karma for being a womaniser. And don't even _think_ about changing the subject, Swan. I'm onto you." Ok, so sometimes it was awesome having someone who knew you so well – and other times, it could be a pain in the ass, regardless of the fact that they were trying to help.

"I am _not _a womaniser!"

"You were. Don't even try to deny it. If you sleep around, even only a little, you're a womaniser. You could get anyone to fall for you, if you wanted… And stop distracting me. Nikki. Go."

"I haven't spoken to her, either," I sighed, twisted the damp ends of my hair around one of my fingers absentmindedly, only then realising that I hadn't yet gotten changed and had dripped water onto most of the side of the bed where I was sitting. Damn phone call distractions.

"Please tell me you haven't been avoiding her."

"No. I just... haven't gone out of my way _not _to avoid her."

"Bella!"

"What? It's not my fault!"

"No, it's not, but still. You need to talk to her. Promise me – you'll speak to Alice, and you'll speak to Nikki. Today. And then I expect your sorry ass to ring me later, after you've seen them both, with a progress report."

"What are you, my therapist?"

"I may as well be, honey. Feel free to pay me, if you want."

"Funny. Call Ben, and I'll speak to you later."

"Bye gorgeous." I hung up the phone with a wry smile, wondering how she managed to convince me to do the two things I'd been avoiding all week in just a short (ish) phone call.

I glanced at the clock, seeing that I was now (thankfully) back on schedule and dressed quickly, grabbing an apple on my way out of the door, and attempted to mentally steel myself for the day ahead.

x-x-x

I was getting anxious by lunch, having not seen Alice at all – I usually caught a brief glimpse of her on my travels, and the fact that I hadn't made me worry slightly. Did she know that I'd chosen today to talk to her? Was she avoiding me? I mean, she had been previously, but in the running-away-when-she-saw-me way, not the avoiding my floor completely way.

I sighed and tried to distract myself with the mundane conversation of my colleagues as we ate, barely able to focus on the conversation, so desperate was I to catch a glance of the girl I'd originally wanted to avoid (had it really only been two weeks since she'd arrived here? It felt like so, so much longer).

Seeing nothing, I went back up to my office in a foul mood, trying to immerse myself in my work and succeeding, for a brief, precious hour, when I became absorbed in particularly interesting article about psychological behaviour. Yeah, we published anything – literally.

I was done pretty quickly with that, though – why was that always the way? You sped through something you enjoyed doing, _especially_ when you wanted to pass time. I had some photocopying to do, and whereas I usually had Alex do that for me, I decided that the mundane task might keep my mind occupied, for a little while, at least.

The photocopying room on my floor was right down the other end from my office, and I smiled and nodded appropriately as I passed people I knew and people I didn't. It had taken me a little while to gain an ounce of respect here – I was young, after all, when I'd started out, but I'd managed to claw my way up the ladder without too much difficulty.

It helped that I wasn't one to socialise much.

There was already someone in the room, I heard, as I paused outside the half-shut door. The sound of voice came from within, and I opened the door slightly hesitantly, wary of interrupting anything.

I saw, much to my shock and surprise, that Alice was the owner of one of the voices, and she was talking to a guy who I had affectionately (well, not _really_), christened the Mike Newton of our floor.

He was around my age, and wanted to sleep with anything that had a nice pair of legs. He was leering at Alice as he spoke, and I saw her eyes flicker over to mine, a slightly desperate edge to her look, apparently wanting me to rescue her. I didn't say anything, instead hanging back, curious as to how she'd get rid of the guy still chatting away.

"So, I was wondering – are you doing anything tonight?"

"I… I'm gay." I nearly choked, I was so shocked – and I saw from the disbelief on the guy's face that he was, too.

"What?"

"Yup. Sorry. But I love the ladies. So if you'll, um, excuse me…" She trailed off and tried to slip past him, but his hand gripped her arm.

"Hey, wait. You can't be gay. I mean, you're – "

"If you say finish that with 'too hot to be gay', then I will take great pleasure in punching you in the face," I chipped in, finally, having known what it was like to be on the receiving end of Mike 2.0's so called 'charm'.

"Whatever, Bella. No-one asked you." I scoffed and was about to make a snarky reply when a rather annoyed voice called out from behind me:

"Zack! Are you done copying yet?" He groaned and (reluctantly) let go of Alice's arm before he shouldered past me. I glared after him before I shut the door heavily, hoping it might catch his back on the way out. It didn't, but at least it offered me and Alice a little bit of privacy.

"Thanks," she murmured, moving back a few steps so that she was stood close to the far wall, as far away from me as she could probably get.

"For what? I didn't do much." It was the first time I'd seen her, up close, for a while. Well, in real-life anyway. Her eyes were light again, meaning that she must have hunted recently. I saw that she was appraising me in a similar way, though with an intensity that made me look away.

"It was enough to get his attention off of me."

"True." I started to copy the papers that I needed, if only so that I could look away from her face – her gaze was making me feel hot all over, and it didn't help that whenever I looked at her, I would get vivid flashes of her in the slightly compromising positions that my dreams had lead to.

Thank God _she _wasn't a mind reader.

"I'm sorry, you know. For avoiding you. I just figured that you'd want some space."

"Actually, I didn't. Not really. Not anymore." I chanced a brief look up, saw that she had come closer to me, and promptly looked down again. She wasn't helping matters by wearing a skirt that showed off far too much of her legs, which seemed far longer than they should have. I mean, she was _tiny_. And the blouse that she was wearing –

No, no, _no. _

No bad thoughts. This is supposed to be a _serious _conversation.

If Alice saw anything of my internal battle, she didn't mention it, and I wasn't about to bring up the warring sides of my brain – or well, really, it was the horny side and the logical side.

I felt like a teenage boy.

"Aren't we running out of time, though?" It was the first thought that wasn't entirely inappropriate to come out of my mouth – God, was it really these dreams that had made me such a mess around her? She hadn't made me this crazy last time we'd spoken, had she?

I couldn't remember – the things she'd revealed that night had took precedence over everything else. And the time that, I'd still been royally pissed off. And I didn't really want to dig back into my memories of when we'd been back in Forks.

Or maybe, just _maybe_, I was terrified of what I'd find.

"Huh?" Her voice startled me out of my slightly alarming inner-monologue, and it took me a moment to remember what I'd actually asked her.

"You said that the Volturi were coming in a month. And it's been around two weeks since then. That only gives us two weeks to…"

"Oh! God, I completely forgot."

"What? You _forgot_?"

"Oh, no, not about you! God, I really am awful at explaining things." She sighed and ran one hand through her hair, before she bit her lips softly as she thought. The motion made my mouth go a little dry, and I looked away again hurriedly, not wanting to blurt out any of the other thoughts floating around my head in a moment of weakness.

"I had another vision – they're going to catch Victoria at the same time, that's not changed. But then there's going to be some sort of commotion in… Romania, I think, that's going to keep them busy for a while. They're not going to come for you for at least another two months or so."

"Really?" I felt as though a great weight had been lifted – as though I could breathe again. Alice grinned at my visible relief, and I gulped.

Why, oh, _why_ did I have to be gay right now?

Any why, why, _why _did she have to be so damn gorgeous?

"Yep. So, the pressure's off. But…" She trailed off, and I glanced up again automatically, noticing that she was biting her lip again.

"But?"

"I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go out tomorrow night? Just… just as friends. If you want." She was rambling, and I wondered why – had she not seen this coming?

I debated for only a brief second – I already knew what my answer would be. I'd had a lot of time to think, in the week without us talking, and I'd decided that maybe, just _maybe_, being with her wouldn't be so bad.

"I would love to."

**A/N: **

**I suck at updates. I know. **

**I know a few people wanted to see more of Angela, so I hoped this chapter helped a little with that. I was going to add Nikki's and Bella's encounter to this chapter, but it's… Half past midnight, and I figure you'd rather have this bit now than a longer chapter whenever I get my ass back into writing mode again. **

**But, enough rambling. **

**Everyone who reviewed; thank you so much. You're all indescribably awesome, and they make my day, and make writing this so much more fun. **

**So yeah. You guys are all awesome. 3**


	7. Chapter 7

It was a few hours later when I arrived at the door of Nikki's apartment. I could hear the faint sound of voices from within, but that didn't mean much – she lived with two roommates, who were hardly ever without company. I knocked, not that I really needed to. I'd had a key to this place for years, but I wasn't going to intrude – if Nikki happened to want space, then that'd be what she got.

The younger of her roommates answered the door, looking a little surprised to see me. "Hey, Bella. Did you forget your key or something?" So, she clearly hadn't told Andrew that anything had gone down between us.

"Something like that. Is she here?"

"Yup. In her room. Go ahead." He stepped aside and ushered me inside, and I smiled at her other roommate, Laura, and the three others sat on the couch as I passed. I knew this apartment as well as my own, and I paused only briefly before knocking on Nikki's bedroom door, not wanting any of the others to suspect anything was up.

"It's open!" I steeled myself before I shoved the door open, unsurprised to see my friend sprawled across her bed, clothes strewn everywhere, music playing quietly through the speakers in one corner of the room. "Bella. Hey. I thought you were avoiding me." One of the things I loved the most about Nikki was her bluntness, and the fact that she'd always say what was on her mind.

Well, almost always, apparently.

"I didn't think you'd want to see me for a while." I answered, honestly, as I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. She sat up, crossing her legs, and gestured for me to sit opposite her. I did, taking comfort from being in such familiar surroundings.

"Bullshit. How long have we known each other?" I shrugged. I couldn't really tell exactly when we'd become friends – it had been _after _the first time we'd slept together when we'd started talking. We'd met at the same bar about a week afterwards, and she'd come and stood next to me, and struck up a random conversation. And the rest, as they say, was history. "And how many times have I not wanted to talk to you?"

"This is a little different to having an argument over who the hottest girl in the club is."

"Well, I guess. But you're still my friend, Bella. I don't want that to change. I knew you didn't feel the same way – I've always known that. That's why I didn't tell you right away. Didn't want to make things awkward. But now that it's out there – I don't want things to change. So, can we please just pretend that this never happened? Please?"

The pleading expression on her face made me think that this was affecting her more than she was letting on, and I vowed that I wouldn't make this any harder for her than it already would be. And that meant that the topic of Alice would have to be off-limits, because I didn't trust myself not to let on as to how much I was starting to care about her.

"Consider it forgotten," I replied, a smile coming easily to my lips at her grin.

"Excellent. So, want to go out?" And, just like that, I knew that things between us were going to ok.

x-x-x

"Why did I agree to this? Why, why, _why_? It was a stupid idea, and I'm an idi - " The sound of my doorbell cut me off mid-rant, and I swore softly at the noise. For it could only mean one thing – D day had arrived.

D meaning date, of course.

Not that Alice had said it was a date, but the inflection in her words when she'd asked me, the reassurance that we'd just be going as friends – that made me think that it kind of was. Or at least, that it'd turn out that way.

I'd been stressing over what to wear the entire day, even when I'd been at work. Alex had asked me more than once if I was feeling ok, and I'd been distracted the whole time.

Stupid, insufferable vampire.

"Hello to you, too. I'll try not to be _too _insufferable tonight," was what Alice greeted me with at the door. I was too stunned to speak for a moment, terrified that my worst fear had somehow come true and she _could _in fact read minds, before I realized that I must've spoken aloud.

"Sorry. It's been a long day." It had, too. I'd woken up at a ridiculous hour, and then the minutes had dragged by at work whilst my mind was plagued with thoughts of what tonight was going to bring.

So, in essence, I wouldn't be agreeing to go out with her again until she told me where we'd be going.

I'd been so distracted that it took me a while to notice what she was wearing, but I nearly swore again when I realized how damn _perfect_ she looked. Well, not just perfect – hot. _Smoking _hot. The dress she was wearing hugged her body tightly, showing just a glimpse of cleavage, and went to mid-thigh, showing off slightly more of her legs than her skirt had the day before. And, so help me, she was definitely wearing fuck-me heels.

I gave myself about an hour before I said something stupid. And it was only that long because I'd managed to learn _some _self-control. Whether it'd be enough to last me the night, however… Well, that was definitely debatable.

"Are you going to invite me in, or am I just supposed to stand like an idiot in the hallway?" I saw from the slight smirk that graced her lips that she'd seen me checking her out, but she didn't comment on it.

"I… I thought we could just go straight out. If you, uh, don't mind." I doubted having her in my apartment was going to be a good idea. And, damn it, where had my anger from the other week gone? That'd be pretty useful right about now. Much more useful than the inappropriate things that were currently on my mind.

"That'll be fine." I turned to get my coat and slip on my shoes, and when I turned back around I saw that her eyes were significantly lower than they should have been if she was wanting to look me in the eye.

"Were you just staring at my ass?" I, unlike her, was blunt as anything, though I raised an eyebrow slightly to show that I was joking.

Sort of.

"Can you blame me?" She caught my eyes, just for a second or so, but I forgot how to breathe until she turned away – then it was my turn to admire the view. Which, I have to say, pretty impressive.

"Now who's staring?" She sang, leaning against the opposite wall as I locked my door behind us. I had no idea how she'd caught me, seeing as I'd averted my gaze as soon as she'd started to turn, but then again, I should've known better than to try and fool a vampire.

"Can you blame me?" I echoed, and she smiled softly in response. We started walking, her half a step in front, and I drew my coat tighter around my shoulders as we stepped into the cold air. Streetlights illuminated the streets in a bright light, the sound of people laughing and cars speeding by permeating the night. "I love the city," I murmured, mostly to myself, but of course she heard me.

"Why did you move here? I mean, you said that you got offered the job, but why not move on to a different magazine? I thought you hated miserable weather," She asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had developed between us, genuine curiosity in both her voice and her eyes.

"I _used_ to hate miserable weather. Living in Forks… I don't know, I guess it changed my view. I still hated living in such a small town, though. Besides, it's not too bad here. There are good days, too. It's not all cloud and rain."

"Would you ever consider moving?" The question took me off-guard slightly, and I took a moment to consider it before answering. Her eyes found mine once again, and I forced myself to look away before I became too lost in their topaz depths.

"Honestly? I don't know. I don't see myself spending my whole life here, I guess, but for now, at least, I can't see myself moving. Why?"

"Just curious. It's been a while. I guess I just want to know how much you've changed."

"Who says I've changed at all?" A blatant lie – of course I'd changed. A hell of a lot, too.

"Everybody changes," she muttered, voice somber and maybe even a little bitter. I didn't ask, though curiosity burned within me – if it were anything important, she'd tell me.

Or at least, I hoped she would.

"Where are we going, anyway?"

"To a restaurant. It's only a few streets away." I generally went further into the city centre when I was going out, so it was unlikely that I'd know where we going. I hoped I didn't – I loved going to new places. Well, as long as they were nice.

"As friends?" The question came to lips without me even thinking about it, and her step faltered slightly, obviously surprised at the question.

"That depends."

"On?"

"Whether you want it to be or not." Her eyes burned into me once more, and I stumbled, cursing my clumsy nature and her hotness as the pavement loomed in-front of my eyes. Her hands caught me, however, before I could hit the ground, and my heart automatically began to race with the contact, regardless of the fact that it was through a layer of clothing. God forbid she actually touched my bare skin. I'd probably have a heart attack.

"Well, it's nice to see that some things _don't _change." There was a slight laugh to her voice, and I straightened up the shirt I was wearing before I turned around, only to freeze upon doing so. She'd stepped ever closer in order to stop me from falling, and there were mere inches between us now, and her hands were still gripping the tops of my arms. Our eyes locked, and there was something unidentifiable in hers, some emotion that I couldn't read – something that I would have asked her, had I been able to find my voice.

She was the first one to break the spell, stepping back and dropping her arms, after what felt like an age. She'd already managed to wreak havoc on both my body and my mind – without even meaning to. I hoped she didn't realize just how easily she was affecting me. Though I was pretty sure I didn't imagine the slight hitch in her (unnecessary) breathing during the exchange.

We continued walking in silence, a silence which I felt no need to break, my mind whirling as it was. How was it, that in just under two weeks, she'd managed to reduce me to this? I'd been livid when she'd first arrived, and now all I wanted was to kiss her.

Well, and a few other things, too.

Not that I should really be thinking about such things when I was going to spending a significant amount of the evening with her.

_Alone_.

She took my arm suddenly and spun to face a non-descript door that I'd been about to walk straight past, releasing her grip as soon as I'd turned. It wasn't immediately obvious that the place was a restaurant, but I was pleasantly surprised when I walked inside. It wasn't anything remarkable, but it was relatively quiet, soft music playing through speakers, and seemed exactly like the type of place I usually frequented.

I wonder if Alice had cheated when she'd wanted to find somewhere that I'd like.

A waitress led us to a table and left us alone for a few minutes while we decided what to order. She seemed only mildly surprised when Alice didn't order anything, and it took me a moment to remember that she didn't eat human food. I ordered some sort of fancy-sounding pasta before handing my menu back and catching Alice's eye across the table. She was watching me curiously, and raised an eyebrow in response to my scrutiny.

"See something you like?" She asked, teasingly, her teeth worrying her bottom lip once more. I really wished that she'd stop doing that. It was extremely distracting.

"Maybe." I glanced around the restaurant again, just buying a few seconds of relief from her intense gaze, before resting my eyes on her face once more. "Nice place."

"I'm glad you like it. I didn't have much time to pick a place."

"Really? I would've thought that you'd have this whole night planned out months in advance."

"Hardly. I only decided to ask you out yesterday. Spontaneity at its best, I suppose. I had no idea if you'd turn me down or not."

"So _that's _why you looked so worried." I'd been gravitating towards her unconsciously, and so, apparently had she, because we were gradually getting closer and closer together.

"You're very intimidating." Her voice was low, almost a whisper, and I had to force myself not to lean any closer forward, using the pretence that I couldn't hear her. Things were moving a little too fast, if I was being honest with myself – and that was not a sentence that I uttered often.

"Please, have you looked in the mirror lately? As far as intimidation goes, you're pretty high up there."

"Hardly." There was a brief lull in conversation when the waitress returned with my food, and I was grateful that Alice let her eyes wander around the room instead of watching me eat. It always made me feel extremely self-conscious when people did that.

"So, what else is on the agenda?" I asked when I'd finished eating, leaning back slightly in my chair to avoid the temptation to lean forward once more.

"Who says there was anything else?"

"Just a feeling."

"Well, I don't actually have anything planned. I wasn't sure if you'd want to do anything else. I don't really know what there is to do around here." I considered briefly, my fingers playing absently with a few strands of my hair while I thought, a nervous habit that I'd been unable to shake for years.

"How long has it been since you've seen a movie?"

"I actually don't know."

"Then let's go." After ignoring my protests that we should split the bill (especially seeing as she didn't actually _have _anything), we left the restaurant and I led her to the nearest cinema to my apartment. It was a few blocks away, taking about fifteen minutes to walk, but I always enjoyed being out in the night air.

When it was over, I could barely remember the film we saw – I was hyper-aware of Alice being so close to me in the darkened room. Somewhere along the line, our hands ended up touching on the arm of my chair, but I didn't move, and neither did she. That one small touch was enough to set my nerves alight, and every time her fingers moved, even just slightly, I felt the movement the whole way up my arm.

I felt kind of pathetic, really – I was twenty-two years old. Not _twelve_. I felt like I was on my first date ever, and it wasn't a particularly nice feeling, no matter the company.

Alice seemed, for her part, totally absorbed in the film, and I hoped that when it was over she wouldn't ask me what I thought – because honestly, I'd have no idea what to say.

It was late when the move let out, and there were few people out on the streets. It was even colder than it had been before, but that was the farthest thing from my mind when my hand brushed against Alice's and, on instinct, needing some more contact from her, I intertwined her fingers with my own. I thought I heard her breath catch, but I wasn't entirely sure, and her voice was steady when she spoke.

"Do you still want to know about what happened with the rest of my family? With Jasper and Edward?"

"I would." I waited for her to launch into a story, but she didn't. She kept quiet, and as my building loomed in-front of us, I doubted that I was going to get the answers I wanted tonight.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Working. I finish early, though."

"What time?"

"Three, I think."

"Would it be awfully forward of me to invite myself over? I'd really rather not explain in public." We'd made it to the outside of my apartment door, but I wasn't quite ready to say goodbye to her yet.

"No, that'll be fine." I lent back against the wall, reluctant to let her hand go, although I knew that she'd have to. As if sensing my mood, her eyes met mine for the thousand time that night, something akin to regret swimming in their depths.

"I had a good time tonight, Bella. I hope you did, too."

"I did. We could maybe… Do it again sometime?"

"That'd be nice. I'd better get going, I guess." But she made no move to leave, and I was unwilling to move. I saw indecision in her eyes, and I wondered when I'd gotten so good at reading her emotions. She raised our joined hands and, after a moment's hesitation, brushed a gentle kiss across the back of my hand, barely touching the skin, but it didn't matter – I felt it _everywhere_. "Goodnight, Bella," she breathed before she made to turn away, but I didn't release her hand, and in a moment of confidence – no doubt brought about by the rush of hormones that brief contact had cased, because I didn't think that I would've done it otherwise – I pulled her towards me as I took a step forward.

We ended up pressed together, the lines of her body feeling heavenly against my own and, before I could talk myself out of it, I leaned down the short distance between us to brush my lips lightly against hers.

My response was immediate, as was hers. I had intended this kiss to be chaste, being our first, but when I felt her soft moan at the contact, the thin veil of self-control I'd be clinging to for the whole evening snapped, and my hand released hers, so both of my own could clutch at her waist. She pushed me backwards so that any space between us was non-existent, her own fingers tunneling ever-so gently through my hair.

Her lips were like ice, but I barely noticed. I was too pre-occupied by the rush of heat I felt from this simple touch, the rapid beating of my heart in my ears, the fire in my veins that only burned with a brighter intensity when her tongue met the seam of my lips. I parted them immediately, shivering at the contrast of hot and cold, and was gratified to feel the same response from her when my fingers traced absently down the outside of her thigh. She pushed me back harder against the wall, her hands tightening in my hair and a groan leaving her lips when I dragged my nails along the exposed skin.

I don't know long we stayed like that, kissing as though our lives depending on it, before we heard the sound of a door banging shut, loudly, from just down the hall. It snapped the both of us out of the lust-induced haze we'd found ourselves in, and Alice leapt away from me so that her back was against the opposite wall. Her eyes were wild – but not in the scary-vampire way. More in the I-am-so-close-to-ripping-your-clothes-off-and-fucking-you-senseless kind of way.

I have to say, I really wouldn't have minded.

Which was really why we should be stopping right about now.

"I… I should go," she breathed, her voice huskier than normal, and as much as I wanted her to stay, I knew it'd be a bad idea.

"That's… probably for the best." My breathing was ragged, my head still spinning slightly, both from the intensity of our kiss and the lack of oxygen my brain had received for the duration of it.

"Then goodnight, Bella. …Again." She winked at me once, a gentle smile gracing her lips, before she disappeared from view. I stood in the hall a little while longer, unsure of what to make of the evening, only knowing that one thing was for certain – kissing Alice Cullen was a pretty damn unforgettable experience.

**A/N: **

**Once again, I suck. I realize. And I apologize for the wait. Blame college – my excuse this time is the fact that I had two 6,000 reports to hand in recently. **

**But I doubt you're really too bothered about the trails and tribulations of my general life, so I'll shush now. **

**As always, any thoughts are appreciated. And all reviewers are awesome. Really, really awesome. :D **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Ok, a slightly longer chapter to make up for my absence… Not sure what you'll all make of this, but I'd appreciate the feedback, because I have no idea if this was what anyone was expecting. **

**A little drama in here, as well, because you can never have too much drama… And I actually have a rough plan for this now, instead of writing whatever randomly comes into my head (which I totally have not been doing for seven chapters… At all), so that might make things a little easier when it comes to updating. **

_**Might. **_

**But yeah, on with the story. Reviews are awesome. :D **

"You look far too happy for a Thursday morning." The voice made me jump, and I whirled around in my office chair, glaring at a grinning Nikki, who stood, arms crossed, in my doorway. "You should also be working, shouldn't you, rather than staring out the window?"

"Shouldn't _you_ be working?"

"Technicalities." I smiled as she stepped inside my office, shutting the door behind her. It was time for my break anyway – the fact that I'd really been on a break for the past hour was irrelevant. It'd been a slow week. "So, are you going to tell me why you're smiling like an idiot?"

"Not really, no." To be perfectly honest, I was unaware that I had been. Of course, I had perfect reason to – my date with Alice had been indescribably amazing, and I was still reeling from that kiss. _And _I was seeing her again in just a few short hours.

Not that I was, you know, counting down the hours.

And especially not the minutes.

I couldn't tell Nikki any of this, though – even if I didn't want to burden her with the details of my love life, I wouldn't have said anything. I knew that she would berate me for moving too fast – though I was perfectly aware of this myself…. although I apparently (and conveniently) forgot this whenever the girl in question was around.

I could barely even comprehend why I was so drawn to her in the first place – I was beginning to think that I had been so repressed when we'd both lived in Forks that I hadn't noticed any attraction towards her, combined with the fact that I had been so blinded by _him _to really think of anyone else that way,

Let alone his _sister_.

"Suit yourself. I'll find out eventually, though. I'm like a sleuth, remember? You can't hide shit from me." This was partially true, though I'd never really had cause to hide many things from my best friend. The few times I had, though… she'd always figured me out. If it had been anyone else, it would have annoyed the hell out of me.

"What are you doing here, then?" I asked, partly to change the subject, partly because I was curious. I knew she didn't have long enough on a regular break to come down to see me, and her lunch break wouldn't be for an hour or so. She sighed, and I saw for the first time a flash of unusually serious emotion in her eyes, and I mentally cursed myself for not noticing sooner. I'd been a shitty friend, lately.

"My family are in town. It's my brother's birthday next week, and he's celebrating at the weekend. He texted me about half an hour ago saying that my parents were planning to head down to the shop to see me. So, I left. And I didn't know where else to go, so I came here. They won't look for me here."

I was aware of the trouble that Nikki had had when coming out to her family – that was, no-one had really, truly accepted her. Apart from her brother, Daniel, who I would have loved just for that, but who was actually a really decent guy. If I'd have swung that way when I had moved out here, then he wouldn't have been a bad candidate for a boyfriend.

"Did he not warn you they were coming to stay?"

"He didn't know. They surprised him, apparently."

"Well… If you want, you can stay at my place while they're here." I was mentally trying to figure out how I was going to see Alice later if Nikki was at my apartment, but I could imagine all too easily how she must feel. Not that I'd had any of that trouble with my own family (thank God), but I could empathize. And besides, I hadn't really spent all that much time with her for a while.

"Oh, no, I don't want to be any trouble. Really, it'll be fine. I don't think they'll remember where I live, anyway."

"But what if they do? Look, the invitation's there, alright? If they come over, feel free to crash at mine. I honestly don't mind. Promise me?"

"Ok, I will. I'll ring you before I just randomly appear, though." Her phone buzzed, and she glanced at the screen, smirking slightly when she read the message. "Apparently, Daddy isn't too happy I'm avoiding him. What. A. Shame." She looked at the clock on the wall and sighed. "Well, I suppose I'd better get going. I'll see you soon?"

"Of course. Seriously, though, if you need to stay…"

"I'll tell you." She turned with one last smile and slipped through the door, leaving me wondering whether her answer would have been different if all of this had happened a month ago.

x-x-x

I was nervous, later that afternoon, when I finished work. I had little reason to be, after yesterday, but I still was. That was generally the way Alice made me feel – though not in a bad way. Definitely not in a bad way.

I hadn't seen her in work that day, though I doubted she wouldn't turn up without telling me first, so I threw on some clothes that were less professional and more… well, sexy, because I knew she would be (effortlessly so), and I didn't like to look second best.

So I changed into slightly-tighter-than-normal black jeans and a top with a lower neckline than I would usually wear, and tried to relax by watching the tv. After five minutes of flicking nervously through the channels, I gave up, eventually picking one at random and letting it become background noise.

It was a while later when I heard the knock at my door, and I sprang to my feet instantly, trying not to walk too fast, and inwardly cursing myself for acting like such a teenager. I took a deep breath before opening the door, and when I did, I noticed immediately that there was something wrong. I wasn't sure how I knew, exactly, but I did. It was almost like a sixth sense.

"What's wrong?" I asked, letting my eyes skim briefly over the outfit she was wearing (which, as expected, made her look drop-dead-gorgeous).

"What? Nothing! Nothing's wrong." But the smile she gave me was slightly forced, and didn't quite reach her eyes. She looked… She looked a little worried, and that, in turn, didn't put me at ease.

"No, there is. There's something up. So tell me, or I won't let you in." It was a bold statement, because I knew for a fact that if she wanted in my apartment, she could get in my apartment. Hell, she could probably scale the wall and climb through a window quicker than taking the stairs.

"Bella. Look, there's nothing wrong, ok? Not yet, at least," she muttered, under her breath. I eyed her suspiciously, and she groaned in frustration, crossing her arms across her chest (which, of course, drew my eyes down, which, in turn, made her smirk). "My eyes are up here, you know," she whispered, and I swear, the speed at which she could go from normal to sexy as hell was amazing. There was a playful expression on her face now, and I hoped that that meant that whatever was bothered her wasn't _too _important.

"I am aware of where your eyes are, yes. But I am also aware of other, more… interesting, body parts, so leave me be."

"Are you going to stop ogling me long enough to let me in?" I blushed, just a little, and she saw, a soft smile now gracing her features. "Am I embarrassing you?" She murmured, teasingly.

"Nope. You're doing something to me, but embarrassing is not the word. I can supply you with a few different words, though."

"Isabelle Swan. I'm shocked. You really have changed."

"What, because I couldn't flirt before?"

"Mm. But I think I could grow to like this version of you. _Really_ like." I felt a rush of heat at the husky tone of her voice, and I stepped aside from my doorway, allowing her in. "And my plan works."

"You cheated," I muttered as I shut the door behind her. She was already sat on my couch when I turned around, and I was momentarily surprised, having forgotten just how _fast _she could move.

"I don't cheat. Honest."

"I'm sure." I sat down, leaning my back against one of the arms of the couch, putting my legs up in front of me, leaving enough distance between us so that I wouldn't get… distracted.

"So, you obviously have questions." She switched from playful to serious in a second, leaving me a little bit left behind.

"Wow, you don't waste time, do you? You have somewhere to be?" She didn't answer except for a smile, but I was certain that I saw something flicker in her eyes. It made me curious, but I didn't say anything. "Well, I don't know where you're starting from. So you just go ahead."

She didn't say anything, but her eyes dropped to focus on her hands, where she was wringing her fingers, an obviously nervous habit that she'd never gotten rid of. She sighed softly, before lifting her head for her eyes to meet mine. "I have quite a lot to say, and some of it… Some of it, you might not want to hear. You might not be _ready _to hear. Not yet. I just want to make that clear. So that if, after I'm done, you regret me saying what I do, that you'll remember that I tried to warn you."

She spoke quickly, her words almost melding together in her rush to get them out. I deliberated for a mere moment, because I wanted the truth. All I ever wanted, really, was the truth – no matter how much it hurt.

"Consider me warned. Go ahead."

"Ok, so, I guess I'll start with me and Jasper. That's probably the simplest one… And it ties in a little with the Edward story." She looked away from me once more, her fingers now playing with a thread that was frayed on the edge of the jacket she was wearing as she spoke.

"So you've obviously guessed by now that Jasper and I are no longer together. Vampires, you see, have one true mate. One person that they're supposed to spend their entire… un-life, I suppose you could say, with. We thought that we were meant to be. That was why I stayed with him after… Well, no, I'll get to that later. While we can feel a certain pull, if you will, to humans, who, if Turned would, potentially, be a mate, it is nothing like that of a fellow vampire. But it is often the case that the human in question will be Turned… or killed, because the vampire couldn't control themselves."

"Like… Like me and Edward? Am I supposed to be his mate?" I couldn't quite keep the horror from coloring my voice, aghast as I was with this information.

"No, not necessarily. While he did feel an intense attraction to you, an intense pull… No, I don't believe you were meant to be. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been able to leave. It destroys a vampire, you see, to lose their true mate."

"Is that… Could that be why Victoria hates me so much? Because Edward killed James, and he was her mate?"

"If I had to hazard a guess, then I would say so. Even if they weren't true mates, vampires who have been together for a while bond to an extent that the loss is extreme, even if they aren't meant to be."

"So… what happened to you and Jasper?"

"He met his mate. She, obviously, isn't me." A flash of pain crossed her face as she spoke, though it was gone a second later. I couldn't feel _too _sorry for her, though – while I was sorry for it hurting her, they had stayed together, then we wouldn't be here. And that, I was starting to realize, would have been a terrible thing indeed. Ironic, really, seeing as I'd originally cursed her arrival.

"Oh, Alice. I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't feel too sorry for me." She laughed, a little bitterly, which, I had to admit, didn't sound right coming from her. She'd been so… happy when we'd last been around each other. Then again, with how much I'd changed, I was hardly one to talk. "I wasn't exactly as good a mate as I could have been. Which, again, I'll get to later.

"Anyway, they met just a year or so after we left Forks. I wasn't quite as upset as I… otherwise would have been, but it still hurt. They stayed with us, for a while. Not in the same house, thank God, but nearby. I think he saw how much it hurt, for me to see him happy when I wasn't, and that was why he didn't move when we did. I regret not being able to talk to him like I used to, but… I'm petty. I want what he got so easily. I'm not really one for letting things go, to tell you the truth…"

She paused, letting the story sink in, I assumed, and I mulled it over for a while. I had to admit, it hadn't been what I'd been expecting, but then again, I should really be getting used to that by now.

"So, then. Edward." Saying his name still left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth, and I saw Alice grimace, which only made me more curious about what had happened. "What did he do to you to make you hate him so much?"

"It wasn't what he did to _me_. It was what he did to _you_."

"…What?"

"This is the part of the story that I warned you about." She closed her eyes, one of her hands pressing against her forehead. "I… Edward saw you first. If I had, then maybe things would have been different… You see, I felt the same thing as Edward when I met you. Or if not the same, then stronger. I suspect the latter, because I'm here now, and he's not."

"So you… You… You had feelings for me… all that time ago?" Her eyes watched me, warily, as I sat a little stunned, my head spinning. I understood, I guess, why she was so reluctant to tell me all this – that meant she'd been holding on to that for years. And me? I'd only just a week ago accepted that I might in fact have feelings for her.

Seriously – why was I deemed to have such a messed up life?

"I did. And I warned you about this, Bella, I hope you remember." She seemed uncomfortable, so I let her plough on with the story, even though my mind was still reeling. "Edward, obviously, wasn't happy about this. You've seen how jealous he is. He decided that, because he saw you first, spoke to you first, had such a violent reaction… was so out of control, that he must like you more, and therefore had some sort of… _claim _on you." The disgust was evident in her voice, and I wondered how she had managed to maintain the relationship she had with him if she was feeling all of this.

"He said it wasn't fair, that I had Jasper. And he was right – I did. So I accepted that you be only my friend, and I tried not to let my overwhelming jealousy every time he touched you affect either my relationship with him, or with Jasper. It was difficult, but after a while, I managed. It got easier, you see, once I knew how you felt about him in return – that he made you happy.

"When he wanted us to leave… God, you have no idea how angry I was. The forest, at the back of the house… Let's just say there was a man-made clearing in there when I was done. I protested, but he argued with me for days – that was why we didn't go straight away. He wanted to. He didn't even want to say goodbye, not really. But I told him he had to, that it would be terribly unfair if he didn't.

"He forced me to leave you - they all did. If I'd have believed, for a second, that you would accept me in his place, then I would have stayed. But I wasn't naïve – I had accepted, by that point, that you would never look at me like you looked at him. And I, stupidly, thought that maybe he had a point, that maybe you'd be safer if we did leave… He was so _fucking _convincing….

"I kept checking up on you, obviously, because I couldn't just not know if you were doing ok. Seeing you in such bad shape, those first few months… God, I was so tempted to come back. But Jasper told me not to. And then, when he left me, I was going to come back… But you were, well, not happy, per se, but on the way to being. I couldn't bear to come back and ruin that. So I stayed away.

"My family tried to distract me, and it worked, to extent. I was a bit better for the few years after that. Edward hadn't been living with us; he'd been moping in South America or somewhere, but when he did come back, he was furious when he found out I'd been checking up on you. Livid. We had an awful argument, but he let it go… at least until he learned about the Victoria vision.

"He wasn't happy about that. When he found out I was planning to go to you, to protect you… he was furious. He was absolutely convinced that I was using it as an excuse, to get close to you, to make you want me, that he couldn't see that I only wanted to keep you safe. To keep the Volturi from…" She broke off, unable to say the words, before she continued. "The fallout from that was immense. We had the worse fight ever – came to blows, everything you can imagine. The house was barely standing after we were done.

"But I refused to let him control me again. I wasn't going to let his idiotic mistake cause you any more harm. And I told him so, and he said that he should be the one to come back, to rectify what had gone wrong. So I told him to go fuck himself, and, well, he didn't take that comment so well.

"I didn't know, of course, if you would be happy if he came back, but I selfishly hoped that you wouldn't. And when he made his mind up to come after you, I had a vision, and you… You were furious. You were absolutely enraged. You were amazing. So, when he saw that vision, he conceded that he shouldn't bother you – but insisted that I shouldn't, either. That the Volturi would be unable to read your mind, so you'd be spared.

"I called him an idiot, and he left. But the damage was done… It was unbearable to stay with Esme and Carlisle, knowing that I was the reason their family was so torn apart. So I left, and made my way gradually back to you. I didn't know how you'd react to seeing me – my visions kept changing. I was absolutely terrified of what you'd say… Especially when I revealed my grand plan."

"But you said that you saw us together… You must have known!" I managed to find my voice, finally, after staying silent through her tale. Because really, what could I say to all of that? I was still stunned that she'd had feelings for me for so long.

Why was I so special? I was perfectly ordinary.

"I… Ok, so I may have made that up, a little." She said sheepishly, her head bowed a little, hiding her eyes. "It could have gone either way – we could have pretended, because you took the whole thing badly, or it could have worked out."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Where do we end up?"

"I haven't looked that far ahead."

"Why not?"

"Sometimes, it's nice to be surprised," she murmured, before she went abruptly still. I panicked for a brief second before recognizing that she was having a vision, and I willed myself to calm down. I thought, briefly, about all that she'd told me, wondered what to make of it all. It didn't change things, not really – I dreaded to think it, especially so soon, but I was going to hazard a guess and say that I was in deep already. Too deep, apparently, to be bothered by such proclamations that had just been laid on me.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck," was what snapped me out of my reverie, and I turned to see Alice, on her feet, hands clenched into fists at her sides, her jaw also clenched tightly, and her eyes filled with what I assumed to be anger.

"What? What is it? What did you see?" I jumped to my feet as well, catching hold of one of her hands so that she couldn't turn away from me.

"I… I have to go Bella, I'm sorry."

"What? You can't go… I… I want you to stay." I don't think I'd ever meant something more – I _did _want her to stay, more than anything. I wanted to keep talking to her, because when it was just me and her, in my apartment, the rest of the world didn't matter. It didn't matter that she was immortal and I wasn't; that I had a possible death sentence on my head; that I was absolutely terrified of how much I already cared for her… None of it mattered when she was there because she was all I was able to concentrate on. And I could tell, tell by the emotion swirling in those golden eyes, that something serious was happening, or was _going _to happen. And I felt dread, settling heavy into my stomach, and I wanted nothing more than to run the hell away from that feeling – as long as she was with me.

"I… God. I have to." She looked torn, but she pulled her arm gently out of my grasp and took a step to the door. Then her eyes glazed over again, and I waited, patiently, even though it was so difficult to not demand answers from her.

A moment later, she came back to herself, and her face was now determined.

"Bella, I am sorry, I am, but… There's something I need to do, ok?" She didn't wait for an answer – instead, she grabbed ahold of my waist and yanked me towards her. I collided with her, hard, the shockwaves more than I was used to, but then her lips were on mine and her hands were buried in my hair, and the brief pain no longer mattered.

There was a desperation to her kiss – one that was much different to the desperation of last night. That had been a desire to get impossibly closer; this was the desire to never let go. And I hated to think it, but the thought crept up on my anyway – it reminded me horribly of the time Edward had kissed me, not knowing when he would see me again. The thought made me sick, but, even as that occurred to me, Alice was pulling away, allowing me to breathe.

"I'll be back," she murmured against my lips, pressing one more, gentle kiss to my lips before taking several steps backwards.

"When?" I asked, my voice unusually small. She didn't look surprised that I'd guessed she was leaving for a seemingly extended period of time.

"I don't know. Hopefully not long. Try not to injure yourself while I'm gone." She managed a slight smile (that again didn't reach her eyes), before she was gone, the door shutting with a soft click behind her. I stood there for a few seconds, staring after her, before there was a knock on the door.

I rushed to get there, even though I knew, knew with certainty, that it wouldn't be her behind the door. I was right – upon wrenching it open, I was a crying Nikki on the other side.

"I changed my mind. I want to stay here." Her voice cracked slightly, and I reached out to drag her inside, somehow managing the feat of hugging her at the same time. I was glad for the interruption – if Nikki were here, it meant I was less likely to swell on Alice's sudden departure. Then the fact that she was crying – Nikki, my stoic best friend, the girl that I'd never ever really seen break down – really sunk in.

"What the hell happened?"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **

**Once again, I'm so sorry for the wait. I had **_**so**_** much trouble with this chapter – I was going to do something different, more of a filler, but I hated it, so I kept putting it off. **

**I got this idea this morning, though, and couldn't wait to get it down… So, here you go. Thoughts, as always, are greatly appreciated. You're all awesome for continuing with this story. **_**Awesome. **_**:D**

It wasn't until several hours after Alice had left that I actually had the chance to think over the things she'd told me. It had taken me a good while (and two bottles of wine) to calm Nikki down – it turned out her parents had finally tracked her down, and, ironically, because she'd tried to avoid them, her dad was meaner than usual. If I could have, I would've marched on over to where they were staying and given them both a piece of my mind. As it was, however, I felt I could aid my best friend more by letting her cry on me for a while.

I didn't really want to leave her on her own (and _I _didn't really want to be alone), so after only a slight argument we'd ended up collapsing in my bed. But I couldn't sleep. I could hear Nikki's slow breathing beside me, but it did nothing to quiet my mind. Watching the clock didn't help, either – I was all too aware of the few hours I had to rest before I'd have to go in for work.

By four in the morning, I'd had enough, and I rolled irritably to my feet and stalked into my living room, shutting the door to my bedroom quietly behind me. I might be in foul mood, but I didn't want to wake up Nikki and have her deal with it.

I must have ended up passing out on the couch at some point in the night, though, because the next thing I was aware of was Nikki shoving me onto the floor, smirking slightly when I glared up at her.

"Good morning?"

"You were in my seat space. And it's… Eight. So stop glaring at me and get your ass showered and ready for work."

"…I hate you."

"No, you don't. You love me."

"Well, at least I know you're feeling better…" I muttered as I stumbled into my bathroom, splashing some cold water on my face as opposed to taking the time to dry my hair after a shower, and tried to make myself look presentable, which wasn't easy when I felt (and looked) like crap.

"Are you going into work today or are you hanging out here?" I called as I pulled on a pair of jeans.

"I was off today anyway, so I'll probably stay here… Might swing by my place to pick up some more clothes."

"I'll come back here for lunch, then." I grabbed my keys and grabbed an apple on my way through the kitchen. "I'll see you later!"

It was cold outside, as always, though it looked like the sun was trying to shine its way through the oppressive clouds. A quick glance at my watch told me I had enough time to walk to work today – I used to go for a walk whenever I felt the need to clear my head, which I certainly did that morning.

I still didn't really know what to think about Alice. I wanted to know why she'd taken off so suddenly – I doubted that she wouldn't have gone if it weren't anything serious. Then again, she could have. I honestly didn't know what to think – not to mention the fact that my head was still spinning from the fact that she'd liked me from the first time she'd seen me.

Yeah, still having a little trouble with that one.

It was all very frustrating.

Luckily, I didn't have much time to dwell anymore on thoughts like that, because my day was so insane, I barely had time to breathe until it was time for my lunch break. Though when I arrived back at my apartment, I decided that it was a bad thing that I'd wanted to come home in the first place.

"Are you _insane_? No!"

"Nikki, come on - "

I'd apparently come back in the middle of a brother-sister argument, because Daniel was perched on my couch, next to my temporary roommate, who looked rather annoyed, to say the least.

"Is everything alright?" I asked as I shut the door behind me. At least they weren't just carrying on and ignoring me. It couldn't be _that _bad, then. Surely.

"Daniel here is trying to persuade me to come to his birthday party tonight. And, oh yeah, I forgot to mention, my homophobic father will be there."

"Ah. I see."

"Look, honestly, Nik, he's not going to make a scene, ok? I've told him I'll kick him out if he does. I just… I really want you to be there. Please? For me?"

"No."

"Bella can come with you."

"Uh, what?" I whirled around from where I'd been making myself a sandwich in the kitchen, but neither of them seemed to hear me. Wonderful. Just how I wanted to spend my Friday night – being glared at.

"…No." Or maybe I wouldn't be. Excellent.

"Nikki, _please_. Come on, I'd do the same for you. You know I would." Daniel turned around to face me, a pleading look in his eyes, and I sighed. I was a real sucker for making people I loved happy.

Sometimes it could be a pain in the ass.

Like now, for example.

"I don't know…"

"Oh, come on. Honestly, he won't make a scene – he won't want to embarrass himself, or his family. I'll owe you, the both of you."

"I'll go… But only if Bella will come with me." I felt two pairs of eyes turn to look in my direction, and I sighed heavily. It was times like these when I hated the fact that I couldn't say no.

"_Fine_. But you _do _owe me. You definitely owe me." Daniel left soon after that (but not before hugging me and thanking me when he thought Nikki couldn't hear). I'd probably regret agreeing when I got home after, but for now, as long as everyone was happy, I supposed I could suck it up.

x-x-x

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this."

"_I _can't believe I'm actually doing this! Your brother is far too persuasive for his own good." At eight o' clock that evening, Nikki and I stood, side by side, staring at the door to her brother's apartment as though hell itself was contained within. Which, I supposed, it could be. It just depended what your definition of hell was.

"You knock."

"He's _your_ brother!"

"I don't care. Knock. I'm too nervous."

"You're too nervous to knock on a door?" The death glare she gave me was enough to shut me up, though, and I did as she asked, attempting to smile when Daniel answered the door. He grinned at the probably uncomfortable look on my face, and I suppressed the urge to slap him – a sleepless Bella was a cranky Bella, and sleepy and cranky Bella in an awkward situation?

Never a good thing.

"Come on in, guys." We stepped over the threshold, and I was glad to see that there were already a fair few people there already – which meant that we'd draw less attention to ourselves. I followed Nikki to the kitchen, where she handed me a vodka and coke that was over half alcohol. I didn't complain, though, as I saw her father approaching us – I'd never met the man in person, but I'd seen a couple of pictures. Besides, they had the same eyes.

"Nikki, it's good to see you. Are you going to introduce me to your _friend_?" I glared at him over the rim of my glass, but as I opened my mouth to tell him to fuck off (I knew Nikki wouldn't say it – or anything at all really, so what else was I supposed to do?) Daniel practically sprinted over, took his dad's arm, and steered him away, shooting me a warning look over his shoulder which I made a face at.

"Why are we here, again?" I muttered, turning to my friend, who looked like she didn't know whether to cry or to laugh. "What?"

"Next time my dad wants a 'talk', remind me to bring you? I think he might meet his match." I grinned as she was pulled into conversation by a woman stood to her left, and just surveyed the apartment. I couldn't see anyone I knew, which was hardly surprising. Nikki didn't like to talk about her family too much, other than her brother, which I respected.

It wasn't as bad as I expected – I spent the first hour or so either chatting casually to anyone who spoke to me first, or listening to Nikki's conversations, letting my mind wander. I was brought out of one such reverie by the buzzing of my phone from my bag. I nearly had a heart attack – yes, I was _that_ desperate to hear something from Alice, and I nearly dropped my bag in my haste to get to the device.

"Jesus, Bella, waiting for a call or something?" Nikki asked, and I could tell without looking at her that she was trying not to laugh. When I finally grabbed my phone and looked at the caller ID, I imagine my face must have fallen slightly, because when my eyes met hers she raised a questioning eyebrow, but I pointedly looked the other way as I answered the call.

"Hey, dad, what's up?" I spoke to my dad usually about one a week, sometimes more, sometimes less, and we weren't scheduled to walk until Sunday – he worked varying hours during the week.

"Bella? It's Sue." This was more unusual. My parents had split up long ago, but just before I'd left Forks, I'd noticed that Charlie had been getting closer to a woman from the Reservation – Sue Clearwater – and it hasn't come as any surprise to me when they'd announced their engagement, and then got married earlier this year. I quite liked Sue, or at least more than I imagined I'd like my dad's girlfriend/my new stepmother, but that didn't mean we spoke often. And even though I didn't know her all that well, I could tell that she sounded worried.

"Oh, hey. Is something up?"

"It's your father." They were sort of the dreaded words, weren't they? That something had happened, and I could tell from the tone of her voice that something had. I knew Nikki could tell something was wrong (we'd known each other for long enough to be able to read each like a book), when I felt her hand at the small of my back – a tiny gesture, but it made me feel better all the same. "He had a heart attack a few hours ago, and it's… Well, it doesn't look too good."

"Oh, my God. Is he… Is he going to be ok?"

"Honestly? I don't know. But… I think maybe you should think about coming home."

"I… I'll try and be there as soon as I can. Thank you for telling me."

"Of course, Bella. Look, why don't you phone me when you know what you're doing? We can sort things out from there, ok?"

"Yeah, sure," I murmured, my voice cracking. I hung up, fighting the haze of tears that threatened to take over my vision. I tried to walk away, determined not to cry in front of strangers, but Nikki's hand, tight on my wrist, stopped me from going anywhere.

"What? Babe, what it is?"

"I need… I need to get out of here." She looked like she was going to disagree until I told her what was up, but after glancing at me once more, she nodded, taking my hand and leading me back to the door. Once we were in the corridor, she pulled me to a stop.

"Stay here, ok? I'll just go tell Daniel that we have to leave." She disappeared and was back what felt like seconds later, shutting the door behind her, cutting off the loud sound of laughter and conversation from within. "Bella, what's happened?"

I told her, managing not to cry too much, as we made our way back to my apartment, where she immediately started to help me make plans. I rang Lisa, asking for time off, and then Alex, asking her if she could keep things in order while I was gone, whilst Nikki looked up flight information. I glanced at her, as she was frowning at the screen of my laptop, and on impulse, asked her what had been on my mind since we'd left the party.

"Come with me."

"What?"

"Come with me. Come home with me. I know it's selfish of me to ask you, incredibly so, but… I could use a friend right now."

"I… are you sure? I mean, it's family…"

"Please, my dad loves you. He wouldn't mind you being there to keep me company. And besides, I'll need someone to stop me from going out of my mind. There's nothing to _do_ in Forks. And I don't want to bother Angela too much… But if you don't want to go, then that's ok."

"No, no… It's ok. I just… Well, I figured your girlfriend would be going with you." She didn't look at me as she said it, instead staring straight ahead, and I felt a pang of guilt once again, that I couldn't return the feelings she had for me.

"She's not my girlfriend," I murmured, because honestly, I didn't know _what _to call Alice. We'd never really gotten to that discussion. And I was trying not to think of her right now – because I was pretty sure that she'd be the only one that'd be able to take my mind off of everything, and the fact that she wasn't here was killing me more than I cared to admit.

"I still would've thought you'd ask her."

"She… had some things to take care of. And besides, I think my dad would rather you were there than her." It hurt to say the words, but they were true – my dad hated the Cullens with a passion after everything that had happened. Nikki gave me a look as though she sensed there was more to that story, but she let it go.

"Alright, then. I'll come with you."

x-x-x

Fourteen hours later, Nikki and I sat in a taxi, headed for my old house. I paid the driver as he pulled up outside – it looked the same as ever, except there was a new coat of paint, and Sue's car was sat on the drive, next to Charlie's police cruiser. And, sat a little way away, was my beloved old truck. I knew that Jacob sometimes used it to make sure that it kept running, so I was confident that we'd be able to make our own way to the hospital.

I grabbed our hastily packed bags and dumped them just inside the front door, going to clean myself up in the only bathroom whilst Nikki raided the cupboards for food. She handed me a bar of chocolate, shrugging, as we passed on the stairs, and I smiled a little in spite of myself – it was good to know that some things never changed.

Like my dads inability to cook anything edible.

My old car keys still hung on the hook in the hall, and I grabbed them while I waited for Nikki. To my relief, the truck _did _run – the roar of the engine comforting, even if it did drag me through memories of when I'd lived here.

Not as much as driving through the streets did, though. I hadn't been home since I'd left, practically. I hated coming back here, and Charlie, thankfully respected that. He'd asked me to come to stay for Christmas this year only because it would be his and Sue's first one as a married couple, but before that, he'd never requested that I come home. He liked London, anyway, probably because it was a change of scenery.

Everything was still as oppressive and green as ever, though it was, to my surprise, not raining. I remembered the route to the hospital pretty easily, having been there one time too many during my life here, clumsy as I was. It'd quite obviously had some work done, I noted abstractly, as I pulled into a space in the carpark outside. I turned off the engine and sat, staring at the doors, just needing a few seconds to think before I went inside. Nikki reached over and squeezed my hand gently. She'd been silent for the whole car journey, content to just sit and stare out of the window, which I was grateful for. I didn't want to bother with inane conversation – I'd probably have enough of that to deal with in the coming days. My leaving here had generated a lot of buzz, apparently – when you live in a town as small as this, the story of the police chief's daughter heading off to England when she was just eighteen was big news.

Sue had told me where to go to see my dad, and I ventured slowly inside of the hospital, Nikki half a step behind me, her hand intertwined with mine. My phone rang once again as we were just inside the doors, and I answered it without looking, assuming it would be Sue, seeing where abouts we were.

"Bella? Oh, thank God. Are you ok? I saw about your dad. I'm so, so sorry I couldn't be there. Forgive me?" I froze at the sound of the voice, velvet in my ears, and I didn't realize just how much I'd missed her until that moment.

"_Alice_?" I breathed, and I felt Nikki tense for a second, but she didn't walk away. "Where are you? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Bella, and as for where I am… Well, I'll tell you when I get back. But are _you _alright?"

"I… I guess so. I mean, not really, but… I'll be ok."

"I am so sorry… If I could, I'd be there… But I don't think, either way, that that would go down well with the wolves."

"Will you be back anytime soon?"

"I hope so, Bella, I hope so. But things are… difficult, shall we say."

"Does this have to do with the _thing_?" I asked, hoping she'd get that I meant vision – I couldn't exactly say that with Nikki being so close. She already thought something odd was going on, there was no need to encourage her.

"My vision? Yeah, it does, but I can't really tell you what… I'll try and be home as soon as I – _fuck_," she breathed, her voice turning anxious from one word to the next. I heard, in the background, a crash, and I flinched, despite knowing that little could hurt her.

"Alice? Is everything ok?" There was a growl in the background, her own, I suspected, which was answered by another, before a voice spoke, angry and definitely male, but too indistinct for me to make out.

"I have to go," she murmured, her voice strained. "I'll be back as soon as I c - " The call ended abruptly, and I stared down at the phone as though it'd bring her voice back to me. The number was withheld, and I doubted that ringing it back would do me any good. Instead, I sighed, slipping the phone back into my pocket. Hearing her voice had made me feel better, at first, but now I was just worried again – mostly about _her_.

"What was that? Is everything ok?"

"Honestly? I don't really know." She looked at my skeptically, but once again dropped it, much to my relief.

"Right, then. Isn't that Sue, anyway, over there?" She pointed to the left of where we stood, and I nodded, recognizing her shock of black hair, even from so far away. She hadn't noticed us yet, so I took a minute before I started towards her.

"Come on, then. Let's throw ourselves to the wolves…" I muttered, smiling once again a little at my own joke – I'd be surprised if none of the wolves were about. Jacob especially, seeing as he was engaged to Sue's daughter. I didn't know how I felt about that, but one thing was for sure – I was definitely going to be in for an interesting few days.


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N: **

_**I won't give any excuses. I'll just say that I'm really sorry that this has taken so long. **_

_**This chapter's going to be a test, I think – if there's still any interest in this story, then I'll try my best to carry on with it. But if there's not, then… I probably won't. **_

_**So review if you want me to carry on. And I'm really sorry again. **_

_**Hope you enjoy. **_

"Your father's going to need surgery, I'm afraid. It's pretty routine, but like all surgeries, it has its risks…" On and on the doctor's voice droned, and I tuned it out, staring through the window into Charlie's room. He was surrounded by machines, and more tubes that I would've thought possible were sticking out from his arms. He was asleep, as he had been since I'd gotten here – and, according to Sue, had been since it had happened.

"Bella?" I snapped my gaze away to catch Sue's worried eyes, and saw with surprise that the doctor had disappeared. "Bella, why don't you go get some food or something? You look a little pale, and you've had a long day…"

"I'm fine." I tried to muster a smile, but I don't think I fooled her. I could barely even fool myself.

"But even so. You should eat something. I'll stay with your dad, he won't be on his own, I promise."

"You need a break as well, Sue." Nikki's voice, soft and concerned, came from my left, and though she wasn't talking to me, I could feel the weight of her gaze on me. "Look, I'll sit with him. You both need a break. Go to the cafeteria, for a walk, hell, go home if you need to. Just… do _something_. It's not healthy to stay here for so long."

After a few more weak protests, Sue agreed to go home and clean herself up, and I agreed, reluctantly, to go for a walk. I passed like a ghost through the corridors of the hospital – no-one so much as even spared me a glance. I ended up outside, and the light drizzle that had begun make me feel, for some odd reason, a little better.

I walked a little way away, towards the greenery that was, essentially, the back of the hospital, desperate for a little alone time. With my luck, however, I should've known that that just wouldn't be possible.

"Bella," a voice murmured from behind me, male and a little husky. I knew who stood behind me without having to turn – regardless of the fact that I hadn't seen him for a few years, I'd know Jake's voice anywhere.

"Jacob." I didn't move, and he came to stand in front of me, his dark eyes assessing me curiously. He was tall as ever, and I had to crane my neck to look him in the eye. If I hadn't have been paying attention, I wouldn't have noticed the sharpening of his gaze, and the following anger, but as it was, I did.

"You… You're with _him_ again! Jesus, Bella, after what he did to you, are you really _idiotic _enough to go back to him? Do you really value yourself that - "

"Hey! Wait a damn fucking minute! Where do you get off calling me an idiot? I can do whatever the fuck I want! You don't order me around, you never have and you never will. So just back the hell off!" I saw surprise flicker in his eyes at my outburst, and it was only then that my mind started to register what he had actually said – my original reaction had only been to be annoyed by the way he was speaking to me. "Wait – I'm with who?"

"_Edward_," he hissed, as though the name alone burnt his tongue. I saw his hand shake, and I hoped it was in anger and not in I'm-going-to-go-psycho-and-turn-into-a-wolf-on-your-ass. As I _so _wasn't in the mood for that shit right now.

"What? No, I'm not. I haven't seen him since… Since that day."

"Don't lie to me. I can smell him on you. It's faint, a few days old, but… There's something there."

"Well, it's not him. I don't have any idea what you – oh."

"What?"

"Nothing." I said it too quickly, and he eyed me critically for a moment, as though he was going to argue more, but I stared him down. There was no way in hell that I was going to admit that while I wasn't involved with Edward anymore, I _was_ back in contact with her sister.

The good kind of contact.

"…I don't believe you, you know that, right?"

"I know that. Doesn't change anything."

"And I'm sorry. About your dad. I hope everything works out ok."

"Yeah. That makes two of us." I turned my back to him once again, and I heard him sigh before he walked away. Well, that certainly hadn't been how I'd expected our meeting to go. I'd expected the yelling – just not the cause of it.

I stayed outside for a few more minutes before heading back inside to go and keep Nikki company, and found her outside of Charlie's room – where she did not look happy. Jake was stood to the side of her, and the two seemed to be locked in some sort of whispering-fight.

"For God's sake, if I wasn't supposed to be here, do you really think I would be? What are you, an idiot? Spend more time taking growth hormones than paying attention in class?"

"Fuck you! And get out of here, before - " I cleared my throat, loudly, and Jake whipped around, his anger not fading any when he laid eyes on me.

"And what, may I ask, is going on here?"

"Dickhead here thinks I should leave, because 'I'm not family'."

"Do you know her?"

"Obviously I know her, jackass. She's my best friend." I went to stand beside her, and felt her hand slide into my own. I saw Jake's eyes follow the motion, and he rose an eyebrow.

"You sure she's just a _friend_? 'Cause I've heard things."

"Wow, Jake. When did you turn into such a jackass?"

"Well you certainly wouldn't know, would you, seeing as I haven't heard from you in _years_," he practically spat the words at me, and I flinched when he came closer. "So hat, you only act like Charlie's daughter when he's dying? That the only time you can be bothered to show your face here?" My hands clenched into fists as I took a step closer to him. I saw a flicker of regret in his eyes, but he'd already said everything I wanted to hear. "Shit, Bella, I'm sorry. It's just… It's hard you being back here, and- "

"I hurt you, I get that. But that doesn't give you an excuse to act like this. Especially when you've found someone else." I turned away from him and tried to storm into my dad's room, but he caught my wrist in a vice-like grip. I felt Nikki tense behind me, but I held out a hand, telling her to back off.

"Can we talk? Please? I'm sorry I've been an ass. Please." I glanced up, seeing the regret in his eyes and sighed, nodding. He released my arm with a soft smile, and I remembered everything that he'd helped me out with when I'd lived here, everything that he'd done for me, regardless of the problems we'd ended up having.

"Stay here 'til I get back?" I asked Nikki, and she nodded, still shooting Jake death-glares every five seconds. "Come on, then." We walked back outside to where we'd spoken before in silence, and I leant against a nearby tree trunk as I waited for Jake to say whatever was on his mind – which, I could see, looked like it was in overdrive.

"How have you been?" He asked eventually, his voice quiet, and he avoided eye contact with me, instead choosing to stare at the floor.

"Fine. Good, even. I've got a good job, nice apartment, great friends… I'm good. How about you? You're engaged, right?"

"I am. She makes me crazy, but in a good way." He smiled, the first genuine one since I'd gotten here, lighting up his eyes in a way that I'd forgotten could happen. His smile was infectious, it always had been, and I couldn't help one coming across my face in response.

"I'm glad that you're happy. You deserve it."

"Why did you leave, Bella? Why did you leave without telling me?" He finally looked at me directly, and I saw the echoes of pain reflected in their depths, and I hated knowing that I had caused that, even if I knew now that it had been for the best.

"I never meant to hurt you, Jake. I hope you know that. But… There was never going to be anything between us. You know that. I was too broken after everything that happened. I needed to get away. Far, far away – so I did. And I knew that if I told you where I was, that if we still had contact, that… That you would think that there was a chance that we could be together. And I didn't want to give you false hope.

"I couldn't offer you what you deserve. I knew I would never be able to. SO I cut off all ties."

"And made your dad promise not to tell me where you went. Only that you were happy."

"I was happy. Getting away from here, all the memories… It was the best thing I ever did. And that I'll probably ever do."

"I'm glad I've gotten to see you again. You look well."

"Thanks. You do to." We stood awkwardly together, neither of us knowing what to say, until a voice, dripping derision, came from over Jacob's shoulder.

"And just what is going on here?" We both turned to see who was there, and I saw Jake grimace slightly before he smiled at the newcomer, and I realised with a start that it was Leah Clearwater, looking very different form the last time I'd seen her, with her brother Seth in tow.

"We were just catching up, Leah." She came to a stop when she reached Jake's side, sliding a possessive arm around his waist and glaring at me. I just glared right back – she'd always been moody, though she'd never looked at me like this before. And I wasn't going to take it.

"You wrecked him, you know. When you left. You complained and you moped about when Edward left you, but you did _exactly _the same to Jake." I fought the urge to flinch at her words, feeling like the wind had just been punched out of me. Could I really have been that cruel? Could I really have become like the lover that I knew wanted to remember?

No, I realised. Jake and I had been different from Edward and I. We'd never been in love, I'd never promised him the world, said that we could be together forever. No, I wasn't a monster like Edward Cullen had turned out to be.

"It was nice talked to you, Jake," I managed to say, stiffly and through clenched teeth, as I passed by him and Lean (who I swear growled at me – I mean really, who _does _that?), before walking back into the hospital doors, only relaxing when I reached my dad's room and saw Nikki sitting inside, looking a little out of place sat on the chair next to the bed.

"You can go back to mine and get some sleep, if you want," I murmured as she stood up and I took her place, taking hold of my dad's hand gently, trying not to disturb any of the tubes sliding into his veins.

"I came back with you so you wouldn't be alone, Bella," she replied, perching on the edge of the other seat in the room, which was further back against the wall. "I'd be doing a bit of a shitty job if I left after less than two hours."

I conceded, and we just sat there for a little while, both in silence, me wondering how this had happened, how I'd ended up back here in the place I'd vowed to never return, and tried not to remember the times that I'd spent in this hospital myself, and the reason why I'd ended up here.

Which, coincidentally, was the reason why I had left in the first place.

The doctor came back into the room at the same time as Sue, and he told us that my dad's surgery had been moved up, and that they needed to prepared him for it already.

"You said there were risks, before. Could you go through them again?"

"Every surgery has its risks. The main one, obviously, being death." He paused, letting it sink in, and I felt Nikki's hand on my shoulder, which somehow gave me the strength to nod, and to not dwell on that too much. "But that's nowhere near certain. I've done this procedure before, and I will do everything I can to make sure your father lives."

"And if he doesn't have the surgery…"

"Then he will die. For definite." I nodded again, still feeling numb, and watched the nurses swarm around him whilst Sue, Jake, Leah, Seth, Nikki and I all watched from outside. As they wheeled him to the operating theatre I squeezed his hand before letting him go, trying to fight back tears and failing – miserably.

We'd been warned that it would take a few hours before they'd be finished, so Leah and Jake headed off to get some rest, while Seth stayed with his mom, and Nikki and I headed back to mine briefly to change our clothes.

"Are you ok?" She asked as I drove, and I shot her look that clearly gave her the answer. "Ok, yeah, wrong question. I just mean…"

"No, I know what you mean. I guess. I… I don't know, to be honest. But it's useless worrying until he's out of surgery, because we're not going to know anything until then." I pulled up outside the house and rested my head briefly against the steering wheel, its coolness soothing me, just slightly. "I should have visited. I should have seen him more. I should - "

"Hey, hey, listen to me, Bella, okay? You did what you had to do to survive. Not being here, made you better. You can't regret doing what was right for you. You can't ask 'what it', and you definitely can't do this to yourself. Whatever happens – Charlie wouldn't want you to do that."

"But I…"

"Don't. Not until you know. Promise me." I glanced up, seeing the worry in her eyes for me, and I nodded, biting my lip.

"Okay. I promise. And thank you."

"For what?"

"For coming back with me. For being here. After I was such a bad friend to you. I don't deserve that."

"You didn't do anything wrong," she murmured, so quietly that I barely heard her. "And what's done is done. Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

x-x-x

It wasn't until five hours later that the surgeon finally emerged from the operating room and approached our little cluster in the waiting area. Nikki and I had been there for almost three hours, Jake and Leah almost two, and I'd been fighting the urge to fall asleep, my head resting on Nikki's shoulder.

There was no expression on his face when he came to stand before us, and Sue and I both rose hastily, together.

"Everything went smoothly," he said, face breaking into a smile, and he laughed when Sue barrelled forward and hugged him. "There were no complications, and he should be awake soon. He's going to have to stay here for about a week while we monitor him, but we're hopeful that he'll make a full recovery. Would you like to see him?"

He still didn't look good, with all of the tubes and stuff, but he did look a little better than the last time I'd seen him. We decided to wait for him to wake before any of us left, so we crowded anxiously around the bed, ignoring the nurse's warning that we could be waiting for a while.

It was only a little less than twenty minutes later when his eyes fluttered, though, and when he finally opened his eyes he looked surprised to see us all there.

"Is there a party that no-one told me about?" His voice was croaky, but he managed a smile as he glanced around the room, saying a few words quietly to Sue before he seemed to really notice me for the first time. "Bella? Is that you?"

"Yup. You had us worried for a while there, you know."

"I must have done to drag you here all the way from London."

"Why don't we give you guys some time to catch up?" Said Nikki, loudly, and after some protesting, she finally managed to herd everyone out apart from Sue, who I didn't mind staying. I gave my friend a grateful smile and she winked before she shut the door behind her.

"So, what happened to me, then? I don't remember. And you can catch me u with all that you've been doing since we last spoke, Bells."

I completely lost track of time while I was talking to my Dad, and noticed with surprise that over and hour and a half had passed when I glanced at the clock above the door. Seeing my surprise, Charlie also glanced over.

"Is that really the time? How long has it been since the both of you slept? You should go and get some rest. I promise to still be here when you get back." Sue refused to leave his side, but the nurses said they'd bring a bed in her for, but there wasn't enough room for the both of us (and I really didn't want to spend the night in a hospital room), so with a quick kiss on his forehead I left, picking Nikki up from the waiting room as I went.

"So, he's okay, then?"

"For now, yeah, Or at least, I think so."

"That's good."

"Yeah, it is."

"Look, I have to tell you something, and you might not like it."

"What? What's up?" She'd taken hold f my arm but was avoiding eye contact with me.

"I'm really sorry, but my boss rang before, and he said he needed me back as soon as possible. That there'd be consequences if I wasn't in soon."

"So you need to go."

"I am sorry."

"It's alright. When are you heading back?"

"There's a flight back tomorrow morning." Her tone was apologetic, but I still groaned. I was going to stay for a few more days at least, and being on my own in this place certainly wasn't what I wanted. But she'd been selfless in coming out here with me, and I didn't want to get her fired from her job, especially one she liked so much.

"It's fine, Nikki, honestly. Do you want me to drive you to the airport?"

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all."

x-x-x

Five days later, my dad had improved massively. He was still in the hospital, but he was up and about now, walking fine, and it seemed like he really was going to make a full recovery. I'd taken Nikki to the airport, and though it had been terribly lonely without her, I'd managed fine.

I spent most of my days at the hospital, spending some much-needed time with Charlie, and I'd also bonded with Sue a little, too. I saw Jake occasionally, but it was usually awkward, and wasn't something that I ever looked forward to. The easy friendship we'd once maintained was gone – most probably forever.

The nights were always the worst, especially sleeping the same house that _he'd_ used to watch me sleep at. I sometimes woke in the night, in a cold sweat, having dreamt that he'd been standing there, at the foot of my bed, and then I would always go and check the lock on the window, before falling back into a fitful sleep.

I'd booked a flight for the next day, so when I left the hospital that night it was with a little sadness – not that I was leaving Forks (that I could hardly wait for), but with the knowledge that I wouldn't be seeing my dad again for a while. I did miss him, even if our relationship was somewhat awkward, but he promised that he and Sue would come and visit soon.

When I got back, the house was dark, and I headed straight for the kitchen, hunting for something to eat. When the oven was on, I flicked the tv on and let myself relax a little bit – relieved that I wouldn't have to spend much more time in this haunted (at least, it was for me), house.

The doorbell sounded, then, and I froze, wondering who would be calling so late. It was after eight, and the only person that I'd expect would be Jacob – and he _always_ rang first.

My heart started to race when the doorbell sounded again, followed by a persistent knocking on the door. I crept to the window and tried to pull the curtains back inconspicuously, but all I could make out was a dark shape in the faded light.

Deciding to man up I crept closer out the door, and jumped when the bell came once more, and I flicked the light on in the hall, letting whoever it was that I was coming. Taking a breath I steeled myself and wrenched the door open.

And promptly froze with shock.

I recognized them immediately – unchanged, just like Alice, even after all this time – and felt my jaw drop and my eyes widen in astonishment. Of all the possibilities, this was one that I would have never considered in a million years.

"Hello, Bella. Can I please come in?"

Rosalie Hale was outside my door.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:**

**I just want to say thank you to everyone who reviewed and let me know that there's still a lot of interest in this – I really, really appreciate it, and you guys are all awesome. **

**(Shameless plugging time – if any of you guys have tumblr and want to, follow me? Just-like-clockwork[.]tumblr[.]com. I have no followers. :( Plus, then you can all pester me to update more often. ;D )**

**This chapter's a little shorter than the rest, but as always, let me know what you think!**

"_Rosalie?" _I was too shocked to do anything but stand and stare, unable to comprehend why the Cullen who hated me the most was stood on my doorstep, a shiny convertible parked behind her, at the edge of my drive. "What… What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see you. I thought that would be rather obvious." She peered over my shoulder, into the dark hallway beyond. "Could you let me in?"

"But… Why are you _here_? You don't like me." She laughed, musically, and a soft smile crept over her face.

"I never didn't like you, Bella. I was just jealous of you. You were human, and I could never be. You had the world, you had your life, you could do anything, _be _anything – you had everything that I ever wanted, without even trying." This was the longest conversation I'd ever had with Rosalie, and her words made me frown, for surely, how could someone as beautiful and perfect as her be jealous of _me_?

I didn't hate myself or anything, but come on.

There was no conceivable way.

I was about to reply, still baffled by her being here, and what she'd said, when a deep howl came from the woods, and she whipped around, a slight tremor running through her body.

"Please, Bella," she murmured, turning back to face me with slight panic in her golden eyes that was quickly concealed as her she turned back to face me. "Let me inside." I stepped aside hastily, because, uneasy as she made me, I doubted I'd feel better if she got attacked by a pack of werewolves on my front lawn.

Shutting the door behind me, I ushered her upstairs, though I doubted a floor would make much difference if Jake came knocking at the door. I'd never really been around the pack when there'd been a vampire around, save for Victoria, and I wasn't eager for them to come here.

Especially seeing as I had no idea what I was going to do.

Sure enough, a quick glance out of the window showed four large wolves in front of the house, all with their teeth drawn back. I scanned them all quickly, looking for Jake's chocolate coat, but didn't spot him – I realised why when, a few seconds later, my doorbell rang once more.

"Let me inside, Bella," he growled when I opened the door, face drawn into a scowl as he tried to push past me. I stood my ground, refusing to move, even if being so close to an angry, unstable (and unfortunately half-naked), wolf-man scared me a little.

"Why should I?"

"Because I know he's here!" Jake roared, and I flinched back as he shook, clutching the doorframe with one huge hand as he tried to get ahold of himself. I was rooted to the spot, terrified to move in-case he changed – I didn't know what he'd do to me if he did when he was so angry, and I was in no shape to find out. It had been a long time since I'd seen the wolves in their true form, and the sight of the other four behind Jake, watching me, was almost too much for me to handle.

"He's not here," I whispered when his shaking had gotten under control. He raised his head to meet my eyes, his own raging with a fury so intense that it took my breath away, and I wondered when the boy that I had used to know had turned into a man capable of such negative, uncontrollable emotion. I dreaded to think that I was the cause of that – but surely, I couldn't be the only reason.

"I can _smell _him, Bella. Like I could before. So, _let me in_." I still refused to move, even as he stepped forward, over the threshold, towering easily over me by several feet. "I can move you myself if you're not going to."

"No. I'm not moving. I'll talk to you outside, but you're not coming in." I titled my chin up, looking him in dead in the eye, so I saw the flash of rage in their brown depths, and then I couldn't see anything else because he seized my arm and flung me, away from the house. I hit gravel, hard, and the force rolled me sideways until I ended up on the grass, spitting out stones and wincing at the pain that shot through my ribs and arm when I did so.

Jake had gone, presumably into the house, and he returned not long after, dragging Rosalie by the arm. I went to call an apology but taking the breath caused me such intense pain that I doubled over, my head resting on the ground as I waited for it to pass.

"What the fuck did you do to her?" I heard Rosalie's voice, outraged, though I couldn't imagine why, when it was only over me, before cold hands were gently drawing my head back. "Are you ok?" She looked genuinely concerned, and I wondered whether I looked worse than I felt.

"I'm fine," I managed to mutter, though it was through gritted teeth. I didn't know what I'd done, but I was pretty sure that something was broken. At least, I'd be surprised if I _wasn't_.

I managed to look up to see that the pack had disappeared, save for Jake and Sam. I imagined that the others were in the trees, watching, but that there I couldn't see _them _was all that mattered to me at that moment.

"You're not supposed to be here," hissed Jake to Rosalie, but Sam held up a hand, silencing anything else that he was going to say.

"Why _are _you here?" Sam asked, his voice as deep and gravelly as I remembered. He looked the same, too – and he was looking at me with some regret, though I doubted it was because I was hurt.

"I came to speak to Bella. There's something… important that I need to tell her."

"Which is what?"

"It's private. Family business, you understand. That's the only reason I'm here. It was a necessity – I couldn't allow her to return home at the moment."

"Why?"

"There's someone there who she probably doesn't want to see." I gasped, for the only person _that _could be would be Edward, and the gasp sent a spiral of pain to my chest, causing me to groan and double over once more. Rosalie flitted to my side once more, pushing me gently backwards so that I was sat up. "Try not to move, alright? If I take you back injured, she's not going to be happy…"

"You're taking me to her?" I managed, grasping her arm as she turned away from me.

"Yeah. She couldn't come herself. She'll explain it when she sees you." I nodded, satisfied enough with the answer, and she turned back to face the two wolves. "I know that I'm not supposed to be here, alright? I'll be gone within the hour, and I won't be coming back."

"You tell the rest of your family that they're not welcome here, either. But you can go, if it's just this once. Next time, we won't be so lenient." Jacob sputtered in disbelief, and started to shake once more – Sam seized his arm and growled something that sounded terrifying, even though I couldn't make out individual words.

Rosalie helped me up, then, gingerly, trying not to hurt me anymore than I already was. It hurt, but I managed it without too much trouble.

"I'll be gone just as soon as I've taken Bella to the hospital," she said, giving Jake a nasty look. He glanced towards me a though noticing me for the first time, and a regret flashed across his face.

"Bella, I - "

"Save it. You knew what you were doing. Have a good wedding, by the way – you and Leah deserve each other." It was probably mean of me to say, especially with the amount of acid that was in my tone, but I didn't care – I was pissed off, and I was hurting, and I took satisfaction in the wounded look that crossed his face.

Rosalie steered me towards the house, and when I told her I'd already packed my stuff in preparation for leaving, she grabbed my suitcase and then hauled it the car before coming back for me – I suspected she just wanted to check if the wolves had left yet.

She drove me to the hospital in silence, but it wasn't the awkward kind – I was content to just stare out of the window, and whenever I glanced at her she was frowning out at the road.

It didn't take long once I were inside – I asked the doctor if he could keep my visit on the down-low, not wanting my dad to find out considering his condition, so he agreed to get me out of there quickly, and after a quick x-ray he determined that my ribs were just sore, but that my wrist was broken. I was sent away with a removable cast and a months' worth of painkillers, and that was that.

"Where are we going?" I asked my companion when I'd gotten back into her car (she'd stayed outside whilst I'd gone in, deciding that there would be less questions that way), and we were speeding away. I'd forgotten how fast vampires drove and had to refrain from closing my eyes as the tress blurred past us.

"I told you, I'm taking you to Alice."

"But where is she? And why are you helping her? And why couldn't she come herself?" And - "

"Whoa, Bella, slow down."

"I'm sorry. I just have a lot of questions. I haven't heard from her all week." I tried not to sound too upset, but I had been – even though my worry for my dad had been at the forefront of my mind, Alice had always been there, too. I'd been worried about her, as well, especially considering the abrupt end of our last conversation.

I missed her, and the amount that I missed her scared me. She hadn't been back long, regardless of what had happened between us, of the things that she'd told me. I wished that she'd call me again, especially at night when I was alone in the house, but she never had. I'd repressed everything because it made it easier, it let me concentrate on what was most important at the time, but now it all came flooding back.

"I know, and there's a reason for that. I'll let her explain it all to you, ok? But as for why I'm helping. I don't know whether she told you that I was the only one of the family who supported her, after Jasper left. Like I said before, I was jealous of you, but I didn't like to see my sister hurting.

"And she was. It was unbearable, to look at her, to see so plainly in her eyes what she'd lost. She told me the whole story – I hadn't known, you see, what she felt. None of us did, apart from Edward. He wanted to make sure that none of us interfered, because he wanted you for himself – my brother's a selfish creature.

"So she told me, and I knew then that the only reason she could be feeling so much loss would be if you were her true mate. So, I'm helping her. I'm jealous of your humanity, but I've always believed in true love. When I was human, that was all I wanted. To love someone so much that nothing else in the world mattered. That all that there was to your life was them, and when you were apart it was so unbearable that you could hardly stand it, but when you were together it was more beautiful than you could have ever imagined.

"That was all I ever wanted. And that was what I got, eventually, when I found Emmet. But before that? I know what it's like to be with someone that you don't love, and who doesn't love you. I had that before I was turned, and when I realised that was what had happened to Jasper and Alice, I couldn't just stand by and do nothing."

"So here you are," I murmured, looking out the window, still slightly alarmed by how fast we were going.

"Here I am." She glanced over at me briefly, as if she was sizing me up. "It's going to be a few hours' drive, so you might want to try and sleep."

"Okay," I murmured, doubting that I'd be able to sleep while in a car moving so unnaturally fast, but, to my surprise, I was being awoken what felt like just a few moments later by a gentle shaking.

"Bella, you need to wake up." Through blurry eyes, I could see that we were parked outside a motel, and it was pitch black outside, the only light coming from the nearly full moon. There were only a handful of other cars around, and not a person in sight.

"Where _are _we?" Rosalie laughed and opened her door, and I did the same, staring slightly aghast at the run-down building.

"It had to be somewhere like this. She'll explain. Come on." She led me to one of the ground floor doors and knocked, slightly gingerly, I noted, probably afraid she'd catch something from the mottled paint (something that even vampires weren't immune to).

After a few moments, to door was flung open, and my eyes met golden orbs, set in a face that I'd missed in the short time I'd spent away. Her eyes raked up and down my body once, before she noticed the cast on my wrist and frowned, raising a questioning eyebrow in my direction.

"It's a long story," I replied, relief flooding my voice now that I was finally re-united with her. I drank her in, re-absorbing her, noticing the rumpled look of her hair, as though she'd run her hands through it several times, and the slight downturn of her mouth, even as our eyes met, that told me that there was something troubling her.

"Well then, come and tell me about it."

As soon as Rosalie had said her quick goodbye and left, I was yanked inside the hotel room and slammed against the door, a pair of (refreshingly) chilling lips covering mine, drawing a soft moan from my mouth as the fingers of my good hand wound through Alice's short hair, drawing her closer.

"I missed you," she breathed against my lips when we broke apart so that I could gasp in a breath, the air stolen from my lungs by her hungry kiss. My ribs protested, but I didn't care as I ran my hand gently over the side of her, caressing the impossibly soft skin that I knew was as hard as stone.

"I missed you, too."

"Is your dad okay?" I knew that she would already know, would have already checked ahead, but was just asking because it was the courteous thing to do and that was the type of person that she was.

"He's going to be fine. They're letting him out of the hospital today." She grabbed my hand and pulled me forward, away from the door and towards the bed. I collapsed onto it and she sat opposite me, dropping my hand only to gently pick up the injured one.

"What happened to you?"

"Jacob."

"Black?"

"Uh-huh." She growled, quietly, and then muttered a string of curses under her breath that brought a smile to my face.

"I could go and kill him, if you wanted."

"As much as I'd like that, I wouldn't want you to get hurt."

"You think I couldn't take him? Because I could. I could kick the shit out of that mutt if I wanted to."

"And what about the other wolves?"

"…Technicalities." I laughed, wincing as pain shot through my chest. "What is it?"

"My ribs got hurt, too. I'm fine, though, I promise." She eyed me critically, a frown on her delicate features.

"Let me see."

"What? No, it's fine."

"Bella. Let me see. I want to check that you _are _actually alright."

"I told you, I'm fine. And if you want to get my top off you're going to have to work harder than that." Her eyes glinted with the hint of a challenge, and my breath caught when her eyes met mine, smouldering. "That's cheating."

Her eyebrows quirked up, a quizzical look coming over her face. "The eyes. The smouldering. It's cheating. Vampire charm is cheating. You have an unfair advantage."

"It's not cheating," she murmured as she lent closer, her fingers toying gently with the hem of my shirt. "I just want to check." Her eyes never left mine as she inched the material up, and I closed the space between us, pressing my lips against hers.

"Stop trying to distract me," she mumbled against my lips, pulling back and tracing the bruised skin of my ribs gently, barely even touching the skin but making me shiver all the same. Our eyes locked, and there was something so intense in her eyes that I almost forgot to breathe.

"What did he do to you?"

"I wouldn't get out of the way when he wanted to get to Rosalie. But I'll be fine, really. The doctor said the pain will fade within the next week or so." She still didn't look convinced, but I pulled her hand gently away, cupping it with both my own instead. "Now, are you ever going to tell me what you've been up to all this time?"


	12. Chapter 12

_"Now, are you ever going to tell me what you've been up to all this time?"_

"I went to see Edward." The words hung in the air between us, and her eyes assessed my reaction, golden and wary. I forced myself to remain expressionless, and she bit her lip, but carried on regardless. "Well. It wasn't really a planned visit, but it was unavoidable, really.

"He found out that I came to see you. Not the whole extent of it right then, God forbid, otherwise nothing would have stopped him. But enough to know that I'd disobeyed his wishes. He thinks that anything to do with you is his right."

"Does he not understand that he was no _right _to- "

"No, but I daresay he has more understanding now than he did before." She cut me off, eyes narrowed, a sliver of the anger that she felt towards him showing in her voice.

"What happened? How did he find out?"

"He put two and two together. Obviously, he didn't know straight away that I'd left, because he'd stormed off after the last fight we had. When he discovered that I'd gone, he tried to find me, to ensure that I wasn't making my way to you. When he heard no word, he simply gave up."

"Does that mean he's been checking up on me?" My voice was a whisper, barely even able to _think _the words, let alone say them out loud. The thought that he could have been _watching _me, without my knowledge, wasn't something that had ever occurred to me before. Certainly, it was because I'd assumed he had no attachment to me, but maybe he did – it just wasn't love. It was jealousy.

"No, no. Don't think that, sweetheart." She must have seen the panic in my eyes, because she leant closer to me, her hand caressing the side of my face gently, tracing my cheekbone with her thumb. Her eyes met mine, beautifully golden and honest, and I relaxed immediately.

I didn't know how she'd managed to have such an effect on me in such a short space of time, but a voice at the back of my head gave me a clue. It had been there all along, in the subtext of the things she had said – she'd just never mentioned it explicitly. But now, the conversation with Rosalie still fresh in my mind, I realised for certain – I was, apparently, Alice's mate. And that wasn't something that couldn't be ignored, no matter how short the time.

I recalled my intense and immediate attraction to Edward – had that been similar? It hadn't been as strong as this; I was sure, but it there were similarities. Except for the fact that he paled next to the exquisite creature before me.

(And also the fact that he was a dickhead).

"What are you thinking about?" Alice's soft, velvet voice snapped me out of my head, and I smiled apologetically.

"Nothing important." Well, for now. It was something that I could think about more later. "Carry on with where you've been."

"Okay, then. Well, I gave Rosalie an unfortunate phone call when I realised that there was no way I would ever be able to stay away from you. That wasn't a problem, at first – because she was nowhere near him. But she and Emmet met with the family shortly before my untimely departure from you. He would read her mind in that time, and find out where I was. My vision showed me the result – he would be enraged, and he would come to London, looking for both me and you.

"I had a slight headstart, and I made my way to Russia as fast as I could. I got there _just _after he'd discovered the truth, and between the seven of us – Jasper and his mate were there, too – we managed to prevent him from leaving, and gave me the chance to try and talk some sense into him."

I could imagine it all in terrifying detail. An angry vampire wasn't something to mess around with; I knew that – I'd seen Edward when he was angry. Regrettably, it had only been when I'd been in danger, but that was beside the point.

"What happened?"

"Then a _lot _happened. I won't go into all the details with you. Only what you really need to know. Obviously, he soon discovered that I'd told you all about the Volturi and my vision. Then he found out that I'd kissed you – and that you seemed, at least on the surface – to return my feelings. It took him a long time to become functional after that.

"It was a difficult time for everyone involved, but the truth was right there in the open for everyone to see. Not all of them had an idea of the extent of my feelings for you, and when that came to light, along with everything else, it was clear that Edward couldn't just forbid me from coming back here – or storm over to see you himself, at least not without prior warning.

"Of course, he didn't listen. He wanted to come for you anyway. I knew you weren't in London, but I kept that hidden from him. We fought for the last time as he tried to leave – it was just this morning, in fact.

"But he got away, and I let him. I knew that I could come and get you, and prevent you from having to face him alone, if I could come up with a good enough plan. You see, I knew I couldn't come directly to you – not all of the family was convinced that I'd done the right thing, you see. They thought Edward should get a chance to explain himself, and his feelings, on his own terms. I didn't know if they'd tell him where you were if I came for you immediately.

"But I knew that Rose wouldn't betray me. So I asked her to come get you, and bring you to a nondescript place so that we could talk. She's going away with Emmet for a few days, after everything that went on, so there's no chance of Edward reading her mind anytime soon. And then, well. Here we are."

"So you're saying we're safe here, even if it's just for a little while?" I didn't really want to process everything she'd told me right now – it was just too much. So I stored it away carefully in my mind to pour over later, because right now, I had the woman that I'd been missing with such intensity over the last few days right here in front of me, and I wasn't going to overlook that for anything in the world.

"Yes. Even if it's just an illusion, really, and it's not a very nice place but I figured that -"

I cut off her rambling with a kiss, leaning forward and closing the little space between us. Her hand wrapped in my hair, a soft moan leaving her lips when I ran the fingers of my uninjured hand along her thigh, stopping just under the hem of the skirt she was wearing.

The temperature of her skin didn't bother me in the slightest, and I inched my hand higher and higher, until her hand tightened in a fist in my hair, and she shoved me backwards on the bed.

There was no space between us now, and I could feel every delicious contour of her body against my own. I grazed my nails over her skin, and though it did no damage, the noise that she made was definitely worth it. I cursed Jake for breaking my hand – this would be so much better if I could use them both. But alas, I'd just have to make do.

Alice ghosted her own hands along my ribcage as she broke our kiss, allowing me time to breathe. Instead, she trailed kisses along my neck as her hands cupped my breasts ever-so-softly. I groaned at the contact, my hips bucking slightly and I felt her smirk against my skin, but I didn't even care – it felt far too good for that.

The sensation of cold lips leaving a trail of fire along my skin was an unusual one, but it felt unbelievably good. By the time she'd reached the barrier of my shirt, my head was spinning and my breaths were little more than short gasps.

"T-take it off," I managed to stutter, and she obliged, lifting the offending article of clothing off my body, pressing another heated kiss against my lips as soon as it had cleared my head, her fingers painting a gentle pattern across my bare skin. I shivered, but when she went to move away, I wound my hand in her short hair, loving the way it felt under my fingertips, keeping her in place.

Eventually, I had to breathe again, and she returned her mouth to my chest, hands still working torturously slowly against my skin. But that was nothing compared to when I felt her tongue peek out and trace around the edge of the black bra I was wearing. A ragged moan tore its way from my throat, and _God _if this was what she could reduce me to already I had no idea how I was going to survive the rest.

She reached behind me and flicked the clasp of my bra open with one swipe of her talented fingers, and she peeling it off me slowly, her eyes locked with mine the entire time. I'd ensnared my bottom lip between my teeth, sure that if I didn't quiet myself I wasn't going to be able to speak tomorrow.

"Do you have _any _idea how beautiful you are, Bella?" Her voice was earnest, filled with a reverence and intensity that took (what little was left) my breath away. Words stuck in my throat, and I just tugged her closer by the hem of her shirt and kissed her again. I tried, unsuccessfully, to remove her shirt one-handed, and with a soft chuckle she pulled away and did the rest of the work. I couldn't stop staring when I realised that she hadn't been wearing a bra.

"I'm not the beautiful one," I murmured, capturing her mouth again and running my fingertips over her skin, revelling in the noises she made against my lips. Distantly, I was aware of a phone ringing, but it was soon drowned out by the moans from Alice as I cupped one of her breasts in my hand and lowered my mouth to her cold skin. Her hand snaked through my hair, keeping me firmly in place, and I couldn't stop a smile from crossing my face, knowing that I affected her just as much as she did me.

The phone rang again, and Alice's frustrated growl made me think that we wouldn't be ignoring it for much longer. She shifted and pressed and apologetic kiss to my lips before leaning over to the small table that sat beside the bed and picked up the phone that lay there.

"What?" She answered after a quick glance at the caller ID. Her voice was infused with irritation, and I kind of felt sorry for the person on the other end – or I would have done, if they hadn't interrupted us.

Alice listened intently for a few seconds, and I watched her face darken at whatever was being said. Curious, I leant slightly closer, trying to hear who was on the other end, but I could hardly make out a voice.

"Right, okay," Alice sighed, pressing her free hand to her forehead. "No, I understand. It's fine. We can't avoid it forever, after all." I didn't like the sound of that, and frowned at the lithe vampire lying beside me. She said a few rods before hanging up, and turned back to me.

Her eyes had darkened considerably since I'd first seen her in the doorway of the room, but I knew it was from desire and not because she was going to attack me. Barely-contained anger showed on her face, and I reached out to twine my fingers with hers.

"What's up?"

"_Edward_," she hissed, tone filled with contempt. "I don't know how he's managed it, but he knows that you were in Forks, and not London."

"So it's only a matter of time before he finds us?"

"Essentially."

"Okay, then." I paused, knowing what I had to say next, but hating to, _especially _with how things had been progressing between us just a few moments earlier. "Bring it on."

x-x-x

Two hours later, Alice and I were sat at the gate of the nearest airport, waiting for our flight back to London. I'd decided that it would be better, and perhaps even easier, if I met with Edward there, where I felt most at home.

Just the thought filled me with trepidation. The last memory I had of him, the last time I'd seen him, we'd been in those dreadful woods at the back of Charlie's house, and he'd told me that he didn't want me anymore.

That was the day that he'd destroyed me, and caused me to live the most painful months of my life. I'd hated who I'd become because of him – but, then again, I had that to thank for the person I was today.

Rebuilding myself, my life, had been difficult, but it had paid off. I loved the life I led now, and I didn't think I was a bad person. Maybe he'd even made me better.

But that didn't reconcile what he had done to me.

From what Alice had told me, he seemed to think he was still in love with me. But I didn't believe that. If you loved someone, you wouldn't rip them to shreds just because of one _tiny _incident. Alice had proven her love for me in the short time that we'd had together far more than he ever had, in the simplest of ways.

The announcement that our plane was boarding snapped me out of my thoughts, and Alice offered me a nervous smile as we rose.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Honestly? No. But I know that it needs to be done. I guess there's been a part of me that knew I'd end up having to confront him ever since you first showed up."

"I'm sorry for that. I'd have stayed away if I could."

"Really?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow at her. I'd barely even considered what would have happened if she hadn't have reappeared in my life so suddenly (and unexpectedly). "So, if my life hadn't been in danger from the Volturi…?"

"I… I don't know. I've always loved you; I hope that you can truly see that now. But if what was best for you was that I stayed out of your life, then… I'd like to think that I would have been strong enough to stay away."

"I'm glad that you didn't." My voice was quiet, but as I spoke the words, I knew they were true. I handed my passport and boarding card to the guy stood by the gate, and he waved me past. I waited for Alice before carrying on. "I wasn't at first. But I'm glad that you came – even if you felt like you had no choice."

"I didn't have a choice, Bella, I told you. I wouldn't let you die just because of what my family and I are. Even if I weren't in love with you, I would have protected you. The fact that I am just makes me that much more determined."

She stayed silent after that, and I was grateful for the chance to think things over once more after I'd sank into my chair on the plane. I didn't particularly like flying (another handy excuse to my dad as to why I didn't come home often), and I used my thoughts to calm my racing heart as the plane started to taxi.

"It's okay, Bella," murmured Alice, lifting her eyes from the book she was reading to glance at me. "If anything happens, I can save you. You know that, right?" I nodded, but I still felt ill. She rested her hand over mine where it was clutching the arm rest and squeezed gently.

"What type of things is Edward going to say to me?" I managed to ask, sometime later. We'd been in the air for a while, and I think Alice thought that I'd fallen asleep, but I hadn't. I was far too stressed for that.

"I can't say for sure. He knows that we're coming, obviously. So he keeps changing his mind."

"But he's going to be pissed off, either way," I muttered, more to myself, but I saw Alice's lips quirk into a smile.

"Well, yes. But that doesn't matter." I realised that she hadn't really answered my question, and opened my mouth to say so, but she halted me by holding up one hand. "He's going to explain why you shouldn't be with me. That he still loves you, and you should understand why he left you that day. That's the basics of what he's thinking."

"Okay. I just want to be prepared, you know?"

"Of course you do. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you."

"It's not so bad. I'm just scared…. Of what he'll _do _if I speak my mind. I don't want to make him angry. Well, angri_er_."

"I'll be with you the whole time, Bella. I won't let him lay a hand on you – if he tries, I'll rip it off. I swear." The thought comforted me slightly, but I was still worried by the possibilities of what could happen. "You should get some sleep, sweetie. I daresay you'll need it."

"I can't sleep," I replied with a sigh. "Every time I close my eyes all I can see is his face the day he left me in those woods…" I trailed off, wondering what saying this was making _her _feel. After all, that had to have been a painful day for her, too.

"Were you in love with him?" She asked suddenly, trying to keep her voice neutral. But I could see, in the fake, fluorescent, aeroplane lighting, a flicker of pain in her eyes as she spoke the words.

"I _thought_ I was. I… I don't know. But all I feel when I think back to then is resentment. All I ever wanted was to be loved by someone, to feel a part of a family - probably because my own was so disjointed. And I had that – he gave me that. Maybe it was shallow of me; maybe I was using him on some level, even though I thought that I was in love with him.

"But I don't know if I was, can't say if I was. I know, now, what love feels like. What it's like to be in relationship not overshadowed by a million other things. What it is to be kissed – and a lot more – by someone who's not holding a thing back. I was young when I knew him, and I know that I've grown a lot since then." I glanced back to Alice, realising that I'd been rambling quite a bit. "Sorry. I've just never really had the chance to explain all of that out loud."

"No, no, it's fine, Bella. Honestly."

"Why did you want to know?" I asked, interest piqued. It wasn't the sort of question one asked on a whim – she must have an ulterior motive.

"I… It doesn't matter."

"No, it _does_," I replied, siting up a little straighter and forcing her to look me in the eye - hers had gradually returned back to their usual golden after our earlier activities.

"_Fine_. I was just… I wanted to know that there was no chance that you'd hear him out and want to give him another shot." She said it so rushed that I had to strain to hear her. And then, once I'd ascertained that I'd heard _correctly_, I had to refrain from bursting out laughing.

"Alice, I… There is no way in _hell _of that ever happening!" I couldn't stop the laugh, then, because what she'd said made absolutely no sense to me. "How could you think that?"

"I don't know. I guess I just wanted to make _sure_."

"Are you jealous?"

"No! How could I be jealous when I have you here and he has nothing?"

"I don't know, but I need _some _explanation for what you just said." She refused to catch my eye, but I knew I had a good few hours to wear her down if I needed it. After all, it wasn't like she could escape me on a plane. A thought occurred to me, one that I doubted was true, but I figured I may as well ask anyway. "Wait. You're not _insecure_, are you? Alice?"

"Fine, _fine_. Yes, I am insecure. I don't have any claim on you. You can do what you want. And that's a little scary, because you _could _give Edward another chance, or anyone else a chance, and I just - "

"Hey! Are you going to let me talk?" I asked, cutting her off only by putting a finger against her lips. She tried to mumble something else but I glared at her until she shut up. "I'm _not _going to be giving Edward a chance. Or anyone else, for that matter. I… I care about you. I don't want to hurt you, okay? But I don't know exactly where my feelings lie. I want you to know that. I don't want to give myself to you until I know that it'll be completely.

"But I'm not even _thinking _about anyone else, Alice. These last few days without you have been torture. But I… I still need some time, alright?" She nodded, and, to my relief, finally looked me in the eye again. Also to my relief, she looked less concerned.

"I can handle that. I'm sorry." She wrapped her arm around my back and hugged me, the angle of the chairs making it a little awkward, but I didn't care. "You just make me crazy," she murmured into my hair, before placing a gentle kiss on the top of my head.

"You make me crazy, too. It's a little scary," I whispered, finally allowing myself to relax. Even though I knew she must have heard me, she didn't say anything more, and I was grateful. I shifted against the armrest until I was comfier and curled up against her side.

Maybe I would be able to get some sleep, after all.

**A/N: **

**Thanks so much to everyone who's continuing with this story – with how sporadic updates have been, I'm so, so grateful. **

**As always, thoughts/opinions are welcome and make me happy. :)**


	13. Chapter 13

I was woken by Alice's gentle voice, and I realised with surprise that we'd already landed, and the plane doors had just opened, people milling about in the aisle ready to depart the aircraft. I had no idea how I'd managed to sleep so peacefully, but I was glad I had – it had saved me countless hours of worrying.

"He's going to wait for us to get back to your apartment. Well, you, because he thinks you're alone. For now," she added, almost as an afterthought as we got to our feet. I hauled my carry-on bag onto my shoulder with a sigh, and started into the airport.

"What's he going to do when he realised I'm _not _alone?" I asked as we walked, needing some form of distraction – otherwise, it was entirely possible that I would turn around and sprint back for the plane we'd just exited.

"Well, he's not going to be happy about it. I can see that much," she murmured, shooting me a worried glance out of the corner of her eye. I sighed again but was spared having to ask more by the ringing of my phone. I shot the piece of technology a furtive glance before realising that it was only Lisa – I'd texted her my flight details, but that had been before Rosalie had turned up at my door. She probably thought I'd been back for a while already.

"Hello?" I answered, shifting my bag up on my shoulder. There was a queue to get through immigration, and Alice and I came to a halt as we waited impatiently to get through.

"Bella! You got back safe, then?"

"Yup. My flight got delayed, though – I've only just landed."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want me to call back later?"

"No, no, it's fine. What's up? Want to know when I'm going to be dragging my ass back into work?"

"Maybe? How's your dad?"

"He's doing ok. The doctor's say he'll be out of hospital in a couple of days, so… We're hopeful he's going to be fine. And I should be back the day after tomorrow, if that's ok? I need to catch up on my sleep tomorrow, I think. Unless you want a zombie in your office."

"Not particularly. I'm glad that everything's alright. And I'll see you bright and early the morning after next, then. There's a god few stories for you to choose from – no-one can substitute for you for long, Bella. I hope you know that and don't leave us for a better offer."

"There _is _no better offer, Lisa!" I said with a laugh. Because, for me, at least, it was true. I didn't want to work anywhere else. I loved that magazine too much. I just regretted that I hadn't been doing a good job as of late. We said our goodbyes and she hung up, and I was glad to see that Alice and I were at the front of the queue – we slid past easily, and went to wait for our luggage.

"How did _you _get out of working for so long?" I asked my so-far silent companion, and she tore her gaze away from something on the far side of the airport to glance back at me.

"Huh?"

"You only started working at the office a couple of weeks ago. How did you get out of it?"

"Oh, I said I had a family emergency and wouldn't be able to work there for any longer. Seeing as I was only a temp anyway, they didn't seem too bothered." Her voice was distracted, and I tried once again to see what she was looking at, but I saw nothing.

It wasn't long before we had our bags and were making our way outside, into the crisp, rainy, London air and hailing a taxi. I slid inside gratefully and rattled off my address to the driver, who began his manic drive into the city centre.

I contented myself with staring out of the window, watching some of the tourist sites fly by, intermixed with the occasional green of one of the London parks. The streets were crammed with people, even though it was getting on for late afternoon – no doubt a result of the rapidly approaching Christmas holiday.

It took just over forty-five minutes to reach my apartment building, and it was with trepidation that I handed over the money to the driver and slid out of the comfort the vehicle offered. Alice, perhaps sensing my inner distress, grabbed my hand and squeezed gently.

"It's going to be ok, Bella, I promise. I'll be with you the whole time." We made our way into the building, and into my apartment. I threw my bag into my bedroom and had barely even sat down on the couch in the living room when there was a knock at my door.

I froze, unable to do anything but stare at the wooden, my muscles locked into place. All I could think of was the person on the other side; mind filled with images from years ago – imagines that I barely ever allowed myself to think of.

"Bella, I know you're in there." His voice called out from beyond the door as he knocked again, more insistently, and I flinched. Alice kissed me gently on the cheek before whispering in my ear.

"Do you want me to let him in?" I could only nod, eyes looking down, as I twisted the frayed edge of one of the couch cushions between my fingers. I heard the door open, and I heard two snarls – one his, as he saw that it was Alice, and not I, who had opened the door, and her answering one. Then I heard heavy footsteps that came to a stop not far away from me.

I kept my head down for a few seconds longer, steeling myself, before I took a deep breath and stood up, forcing myself to meet the eyes of my first, and only, boyfriend.

Edward Cullen looked exactly the same as he had done that day he'd abandoned me in the woods. Even his expression was similar. His eyes were the same as Alice's, but different – hers, whenever she looked at me, were filled with warmth, compassion, and love.

His were filled with thinly-veiled anger and contempt.

"What are you doing here, Edward?" I manage to keep my voice level and steady, and to keep my eyes on his face. It wasn't, I realised with some surprise, as difficult as I thought it would be to talk to him. All that filled my mind was anger, and, unless I was mistaken… hatred.

"What do you mean, what am I doing here? I came to see you. To talk some sense into you!" The voice that once made me melt now made me see red, and when he took a step towards me, I scrambled backwards until my back was against the wall, several paces away. He had the grace to look shocked, but it was replaced a moment later by what I guessed was confusion.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Bella," he said, his tone softer than it had been before. "Please, just come here. Let me see you. It's been so long…"

"It's been so long because you left me four years ago without a second thought!" I spat, and he actually winced at my tone. I shot a glance at Alice, who was still stood by the door, but she wasn't looking at me. "And why do you need to talk sense into me?"

"Because you can't _seriously _be trying to get back at me by dating _her_!" He said, gesturing towards Alice. I felt my anger rise a few notches and forced myself to calm down. Getting riled up wasn't going to help matters, I knew that much.

"I'm not trying to _get back at you_, you idiot. I couldn't care less about you. I _haven't _cared about you, in a romantic sense, for three and a half years. And I'll never care about you again. So I can do what the fuck I want, Edward, and right now, dating Alice is what I want."

"You can't be serious. She's manipulating you. It's not _right_ - "

"It's not right? Why's that? Because we're both women?"

"_And_ because if you're supposed to be with one of our kind, it's _me_."

"You don't get to dictate my life, Edward. I'll be with whoever I want to be with, and there's nothing you can do about it. I don't want you, I'll never want you again, so if you'll kindly get the fuck out of my apartment and out of my life, I'd be grateful." I was breathing hard, and anger had made my hands curl into fists. I hadn't expected to have such a violent reaction, but every word he said just made me want to explode in a fit of fury.

That, and hit him. But I didn't really want the broken hand that would no doubt accompany the gesture.

"Bella, please," he started again, forcibly trying to get himself under control. His eyes were still liquid rage, though. "Just think about this for a second."

"I _have_ thought about it." I matched his tone, forcing myself to stay calm, managing it only by keeping my eyes on Alice. She was immobile still, her expression impassive – but I was from the uneasy flickering of her eyes that she was uncomfortable.

Probably not as uncomfortable as I was, though.

"Clearly you've not. Bella please," he said as he advanced another step towards me, palms up, and brushed my arm with his cold fingers – I recoiled, flinching, and then Edward was crashing into the wall of my apartment. The plaster cracked, a line running halfway down the wall, and I grimaced at the damage.

"Sorry," murmured Alice, who had appeared in front of me. Her eyes were on Edward, her body braced if he tried to come near me again. She turned to Edward and growled, a low, menacing sound. "How _dare _you touch her?"

"Get away from her," Edward spat back, but he didn't move any closer. "Bella, please just listen to me. I love you. _She _doesn't. She'll never love you the way I will. You and I, we're meant to be. You're my mate, and I yours. She can't match that."

"I thought that vampires weren't supposed to be able to leave their mate?" I replied from over Alice's shoulder. I dared not move from behind her protection – the thought of him touching me again made me feel ill. "And _you_ left me."

"So did she!" He cried, but if he was about to say anything more he was cut off by the loud crack that echoed through my apartment as the front door was broken open. Exasperated at yet more damage, I looked over to see the rest of the Cullens spilling through the doorway, and barely managed to stifle a groan.

I couldn't even say that I was surprised, with all the other crazy shit that had been happening in my life lately.

They were all there. Esme and Carlisle came first, followed by Rosalie and Emmet, then, finally, Jasper and another female vampire that I didn't know – the mysterious addition to the Cullen household. The six of them surveyed the scene for a few seconds as we all stood in stunned silence.

"Um, what are you guys doing here?" I managed to say when it looked like no-one else was going to speak. I stayed where I was though, still using Alice as some sort of shield.

"We came to try and talk some sense into Edward," Rosalie replied, shooting her brother a sour look. Alice was still tense, and I decided that this was one family drama that I'd rather not be involved in.

"You came a little late," said Alice, voice stiff as she finally relaxed, standing up from her slight crouch and slinging a comforting arm around my shoulders. Edward snarled at the gesture and moved toward us, but Carlisle's arm shot out and grasped his shoulder.

"This isn't your place, son," he murmured, voice low, his eyes on Alice and I. "Bella's made her decision – you being here isn't going to do anyone any good."

"But - "

"_It's too late_!" Hissed Rosalie, eyes flashing with anger. "She's not for you, Edward, everybody can see that now. They're just not man enough to say it. Accept that they're together and move the fuck on."

Esme and Emmet re-iterated the same point, and, with one last furious glance at Alice, Edward turned and stormed from the room, much to my relief. I let out a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding and finally allowed myself to relax, sagging against Alice's side.

"Are you ok?" She whispered, fingers touching my cheek gently. I managed to nod, but I was still beyond words – arguing with Edward had taken all the energy I had.

"Bella," Esme called from across the room. "It's good to see you again, and to see that you're well. It's a shame it's under these circumstances."

"It's… nice to see you all, too." It was a lie, and I think they all knew it. After all, even Alice had had to win me over – every one of them was at fault for leaving me that day, when I'd considered them family. Even more so for keeping Alice from me for so long.

"I think we all know that's not true," she replied, a sad smile on her face. Amazingly, Rosalie was the only one of them that I wouldn't have minded being here – that just went to show how much times had changed, really.

"Sorry," I muttered, looking away. I glanced briefly towards Jasper's mate – she was short and pretty (as all vampires were), with long, auburn hair. But she didn't have anything on Alice.

"I'm Erica," she said, noticing my scrutiny. Her voice was high and child-like, and I wondered how old she had been when she'd been changed. I didn't reply, and we all stood there in an awkward silence for another few moments before Carlisle spoke.

"I'm sorry we've caused you so much strife, Bella. I think we can all see now that Edward isn't right for you, but that Alice is. I hope that you can consider yourself part of our family again – both of you – and if not, then I wish you happiness together. We won't trouble you again, but feel free to trouble us any time you wish. Our door will always be open. Alice will know how to find us."

He glanced once towards the two of us one last time, then turned and left, followed shortly by Esme. Emmet and Erica soon followed, leaving me, Alice, Rosalie and Jasper.

"I know you're still pissed at them, Alice," called Rosalie, her eyes sad, "but please don't stay away for too long. We miss you. _I _miss you. So please forgive them soon." Then she, too, turned and left, and it was just Jasper, standing framed in the doorway, wearing a conflicted expression. I saw the shadow of Erica in the doorway, watching the three of us with golden eyes.

"I…" He paused, clearing his throat, before trying to speak again, eyes locked on Alice. "I never really got the chance to talk to you the other day. I'm sorry with how we left things, I really am. You were my best friend for years, and I do miss you. But I'm glad that you're happy, and I hope that you can be my best friend again soon." Alice was still silent beside me, and after a few seconds he sighed and turned away, but he paused in the doorway. "And Bella?" he murmured, voice gentle. "Take care of her. She deserves it."

And then we were alone, all threats (or until the Volturi came, anyway), lifted from over our heads. Alice finally turned to look at me, and I managed to attempt a smile.

"Well, that wasn't _so _bad was it?" I couldn't stop a laugh from escaping my lips at how false that statement was, and she soon joined in, and we didn't stop until we sank down to the floor, gasping for breath.

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"Do you reckon the door will be alright until morning?" I asked, eyeing it suspiciously –from across the room. Alice was sprawled on the couch, and I lay half on-top of her, snuggling into her side.

"Um… Sure?" She said, stifling a laugh. We'd propped it up against the frame, but it was obvious to anyone that it wasn't stable. I'd called a repairman who had berated me for the late hour that I called him (but come on, in what world was nine late?), but he'd agreed to come and fix it in the morning. How I was going to explain what had happened, I didn't know.

"Why didn't they just knock?" I muttered, and Alice pressed a soft kiss to the side of my head, apologetically.

"I don't know. Maybe they thought Edward had gone on a rampage and you needed rescuing. Either way, I'll pay for the damage." I turned my head to glance at her and protest, but she cut me off with a kiss. "No arguing."

I smiled and relaxed into her, and she pulled the blanket covering my back closer around me – she'd insisted, saying that I'd be too cold otherwise. I didn't complain, though, because it let me cuddle the girl I may or may not be falling for.

Hard.

I didn't allow myself to think about the implications of that, though. For the moment I was content, for the first time I had been in days, and I was happy to just lie there in her embrace. I was thankful that I didn't have to go to work tomorrow – I planned to spend the entire day in bed.

"What time do you want me to go?" Murmured Alice, her breath stirring my hair. I frowned and glancing up at her. Golden eyes met my own, and when she saw my expression she raised hand to caress the side of my face gently. "What's wrong?"

"Do you _want _to go?"

"No, but - "

"But nothing. You're staying. End of discussion." I lay my head back down once more, and I felt her smile against my skin when she kissed my forehead.

"Well, if you insist." There was a subtle flirtation in her voice, and I shivered, remembering the night that had been so rudely interrupted. Mistaking the shiver to mean I was cold, she tightened the blanket around my shoulders. "Are you too cold?"

"No, I'm fine." I glanced at the clock with a groan, wondering when it had gotten so late. "I think I'd better get some sleep though." Alice gave a murmur of approval so I climbed to my feet, wincing at the stiffness in my joints. "I just want a quick shower – go ahead and get comfy, though."

I decided to resist the temptation of stripping there and then, just to see the look on Alice's face, and instead waited until the bathroom door was shut behind me. The shower was refreshing – exactly what I needed after a day of travelling. Add to that that it felt like I was washing the horrible day that I'd away, and I was feeling pretty great by the time I'd dried myself off and was stepping back into my underwear.

Alice was sat in the chair in my bedroom when I entered the room, and I frowned at her in disapproval.

"I hope that's not where you're planning on spending the night."

"Well, I was actually planning on going out hunting after you'd gotten to sleep…" she trailed off, and I noticed that her eyes were much darker than they had been this morning. Seeing Edward must have taken more out of her than I'd realised.

"But come here while you wait," I replied, patting the bed. I was still clad only in my underwear, and I could feel Alice's gaze on me. "Please? And lose some of the clothes?" I added with a wink, and she laughed, scooping me up in strong arms and dumping me onto the covers.

She landed with her arms over my head, supporting her weight, but I could still feel her pressed intimately against me. I leaned up to capture her lips, my hand tangling in her hair, and she let out a growl against my mouth when I nipped playful at her bottom lip.

Embarrassingly, I was already breathless, but to my satisfaction, she looked a little flustered too. She peppered kisses along my jaw and neck before rolling to the side and propping herself up, leaning her head on her elbow. Her gaze ghosted over inch of me, and I shivered under the intensity – it was probably the most intimate moment that I'd ever shared with anybody, and she wasn't even touching me.

"You're so beautiful," she murmured, reverently, as she reached out a hand to trace across my skin. She barely touched me, her fingers like a feather, but it didn't matter. My eyes flickered shut, enjoying the feeling of her hands on me. Even though I knew it had only been a day since we'd been in a similar position, it felt like it had been _years_.

"You're still wearing too many clothes," I managed to say when she'd retracted her hand, after what felt like hours of sweet torture. She'd only touched where was uncovered – but that was still most of my body. My body was on fire, regardless of her cold touch, and I sighed contentedly.

"Because I don't want you to get too cold."

"Aliceeee," I whined, drawing out her name as I finally cracked one eye open to glare at her. She just laughed, leaning over to kiss me once, gently, on the lips before pulling back.

"Not when I need to hunt, sweetheart. I promise that we'll both get what we want soon enough, but I don't want to risk hurting you. I already don't know how I'll react the first time we…"

"Sleep together?" I supplied helpfully, slipping under the covers when I realised that she wasn't going to budge. It was probably for the bets, too be honest – I was exhausted.

"I don't want to risk it even more by being thirsty," she finished, ignoring me.

"So you're not getting naked?"

"Not right now." I pouted, but my eyes flickered shut of their own accord, and I sighed, curling to the side. I felt her press against my back, on top of the covers so I wouldn't catch a chill, and she laid an arm across my waist, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of my neck.

"Sleep tight, Bella. I'll be back before you wake up – you won't even know that I'm gone." I fell asleep shortly after, comforted just as much by the familiarity of my own apartment as I was by the woman holding me.

**A.N: **

**I've noticed a drop in the amount of hits and reviews for the last chapter compared to the rest – I hope that's because I take so long updating and not because the story's deteriorating. **

**To everyone that **_**did **_**read/review, though – you're all awesome, and I'm glad you're still following this. 3**


	14. Chapter 14

True to her promise, Alice was indeed by my side when I woke up. She was lying on her side, a book in her hand, but she glanced up when I moved to face her, a soft smile on her face. Her eyes glowed with warmth, the colour of molten gold. Weak sunlight streamed through a gap in the curtains of my room, and where it hit her face she shimmered, a thousand diamonds twinkling in her skin. I was struck by her beauty more fiercely than ever before, and it took me a moment to get my breath back.

"Morning, beautiful," I managed, voice croaky from sleep, and she grinned, leaning over to brush a kiss on my forehead.

"It's not morning, sleepyhead. It's two in the afternoon."

"What? Seriously?"

"Uh-huh. Hence this," she replied, gesturing to the book in her hands. "Luckily, I was prepared for long nights. Not that watching you sleep is boring. But you might think it weird if that's all I did all night long."

"Anything good?" I asked, still half-asleep and feeling the same contentment that I had yesterday. She showed me the cover, and I cocked my head to read the title. "Game of Thrones? Why don't you just watch the TV show?"

"_Because _you don't get half the things from a show as you do from the book. All the emotions, the depth of all the characters. It's non-existent in translations from book to page. And I she cut off her rant when she saw me grinning at her lazily. "What?"

"Nerd."

"…Shut up."

"Make me," I murmured, and she leant forward with a smile, hand burying itself in my hair as she rolled us so that I was on top of her, all the while kissing me with those addictive lips, leaving me breathless.

Her other hand traced my side, made all the more teasing by that fact that my skin was relatively uncovered I only wore the black bra and panties that I'd gone to bed in last night.

She dropped her grip on my hair only to move both hands to cup my ass, nails digging gently into the skin. I groaned against her mouth and pulled away, needing to breathe, and instead ghosted open-mouthed kisses along the side of her neck, guessing from the soft noises that fell from her lips and the way her hands gripped me tighter that I was doing a good job.

I was soon flipped onto my back, glaring up into the playful face of the vampire above me, who just smirked back. Her eyes were darker, swimming with desire and something more primal that made me shiver in anticipation.

She was just about to kiss me when my phone cut through the near-silence of my bedroom (well, silent aside from my slightly embarrassingly fast breathing), and Alice muttered something about timing as she hopped off the bed, snatching the phone off my desk and tossing it towards me. I glanced at the caller ID briefly before answering, unable to stop a smile when I read who was calling.

"Hey!"

"The fuck, Bella? You were in Forks last week and you didn't tell me? I live about ten minutes away from there!" Angela's voice made me grin I hadn't realised how long it had been since I'd last spoken to her. I'd definitely missed her crazy personality.

"You weren't home last week," I replied, relaxing back into Alice's body as she curled up on the bed behind me, throwing an arm over my hip and pressing her forehead into the back of my neck. My skin was flushed from the wonderful wake-up call, and it was nice to have her against my skin.

"How do you know?"

"Because I asked around, you idiot. Do you really think I'd be so close and not try and get into contact with you? God, Ange. That's ridiculous." It'd had been one of my first questions once I'd gotten up to date with what was going on with Charlie seeing as pretty much everyone in Forks knew one another and Angela's parents still lived there, it hadn't taken long for me to discover that she was away. "So, how _was _your holiday with Ben?"

"Curse you, Swan. Know it all." She paused, but I could hear the smile in her voice. "It was… Actually, it was amazing. We had a really good time."

"So you guys are back together?"

"Yeah, we are. We talked a lot while we were away about what went wrong with us last time and stuff. But yeah, I think we can make it work this time."

"I'm happy for you, Ange. You deserve it." Alice was tracing patterns on the skin of my side, trailing her fingers up across my ribs, and I stifled a moan Angela would not only never let up until she knew who I was with, and what I was doing, she also wouldn't let me live it down.

"So, how are your girl troubles?"

"Oh, you know," I managed to say, trying to wriggle away from Alice's touch as her hand crept closer and closer to the edge of my bra. There was a devilish look in her eye, and I glared as shuffled away. "I'm managing."

"Did you ever find out what Alice wanted?" I bit my lip to keep from laughing at the question because I most certainly had. What she wanted she was currently trying to get with that tantalising touch of hers.

"Sort of? It's a long story, though."

"Fair enough usually, I'd demand you tell it to me, but I've got to give Ben a lift before I head to work… Don't wait too long before you call me again!"

"I won't, I promise. Have a good day, Ange. I'll speak to you soon."

"You'd better. And I'm glad your dad's okay."

"Yeah, me too. Bye!" I hung up to continue to glare at Alice, who just stared with innocent eyes.

"What?"

"You're terrible," I murmured, dropping my phone onto my bedside table and rolling on my side to face her. "But that was a nice way to wake up."

"I bet. And it is _not _my fault that you look so sexy in the morning."

"You look so sexy at all times. It's not fair."

"Have you looked in the mirror, lately?"

"Stop trying to seduce me when you already have me." I pressed a final gentle kiss to her lips before climbing out of bed and grabbing some fresh clothes. Deciding that I'd get my own back, I seized some new underwear and reached to undo the clasp on my bra.

"What… What are you doing?" I spun around at the sound of her (slightly strained), voice, trying to keep my amusement of my face.

"What?" I asked, not dropping my hands from my back. "I need to get changed. Problem?" When I received nothing but a wide-eyed glanced I flicked the clasp with one deft movement and let the garment fall to the floor, never taking my eyes off her face. Golden turned dark in a matter of seconds, her gaze raking over my skin with an intensity that made me blush.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are, Bella?" She was in front of me without hesitation, so fast she was a blur. "Any idea?" She kissed me then, so hard and deep and wild that I was barely able to manage to kiss her back she pressed me against the nearest wall, lithe body against my own, so tightly that it was like we were one.

My hands fisted in the material of her shirt, unable to do anything other than pull her impossibly closer wanting, _needing_ no distance between us. The first touch of her hands to my skin was more electric than before, heightened by my lack of clothing.

Her fingers danced over every inch of skin she could reach, teasing until I was breathless and unsteady on my feet, moans slipping from my mouth and into hers her lips never leaving mine.

The first, tentative, touch to my chest made me shudder against her, and it was quickly followed by another. Both of her hands cupped my breasts, thumbs flicking lightly over my nipples, and my knees buckled, my head titling back to rest on the wall behind me, finally breaking our kiss.

"_Fuck_, you are way too good at this," I managed between gasps for breath, eyes flickering shut of their own accord when her lips moved along my neck, her hands never stopping their ministrations.

I probably would've collapsed or melted into a puddle on the floor had it not been for how closely we were pressed together and my tight grip on her clothes. The effect she was having on me was addictive we were hardly even doing anything and I was already set to rip the rest of our clothes off.

And if she could affect me like this already, God knows how I was going to survive going further.

A shiver ran through me at the thought, and she pulled her lips away from my skin to kiss my lips gently before tugging my earlobe between her lips. "Are you okay?" she murmured, her breath on my skin sending me into sensory overload.

"I-I'm fine." She dropped her hands back to my waist, tracing the outline of my underwear absently, eyes gazing into my own.

"Are you sure? Your heart's racing." I was hoping she hadn't noticed, but considering I could hear the pounding blood in my eyes, I was hardly surprised that she could with her far superior hearing.

"Well that's not entirely my fault, is it?" I was still trying to catch my breath, and I noticed Alice's not-so-subtle glance towards my rapidly rising and falling chest. "See something you like?"

"Obviously. And it _is _entirely your fault. You were the one that got naked, after all."

"This is true." She kissed me again, unexpectedly, but this was much softer than before, and she broke away after a few seconds.

"This wasn't how I was expecting things to go. You ruined my carefully constructed and well thought out plans. You should be ashamed of yourself."

"You had plans, did you? You can still utilise those plans. We've barely even gotten started. And you are _still _wearing too many clothes." I moved to tug her shirt up and over her head, but she danced put of my grasp, smirking. "That is _so _not fair!"

"You'll get what you want soon enough." She laughed at the pout on my face and sat on the edge of the bed, still regarding me with desire in her eyes. "You said I could utilise my plans."

"So…?"

"So let me take you out tonight. On a proper date. I'll pull out all the stops and everything. And then…"

"And then?"

"I'll leave that up to your imagination."

x-x-x-x

An hour and a half later I was sat in my favourite coffee shop, about a two minute walk from my apartment. I was sat next to the window, in my usual seat, leaning back in my chair, steaming mug of black coffee clutched in front of me and staring absently outside.

It was typically rainy (the weak afternoon sunlight hadn't lasted long), the window pane beside me streaked with water droplets, the sky a dark, menacing grey. The people hurrying past outside clutched umbrellas or had their coats buttoned to the collar, a futile attempt to fight the cold. Wind whipped through the streets, rustling the leaves of the trees of the park opposite the park where I'd had my first, proper, meeting with Alice.

I remembered the day vividly, the terror I'd felt at seeing her, but at the same time filled with hope that the promise she'd left me with, that she'd leave as soon as we'd spoken, was true.

I thought it miraculous how quickly things could change.

Now here I was, a mere couple of weeks later, and things couldn't be more different. And yet, I loved it.

And I was pretty sure that I loved _her_.

I hadn't really had the chance to think much, to be on my own and just sift through my thoughts, but that was why I'd decided to come here today. I'd needed to be here anyway I was meeting Nikki later but I'd come earlier to try and figure things out. It was my spot to do that I'd sit in this chair, and I'd stare out the window, and I'd just _think_.

About my life the choices I made or needed to make, the people I knew, just… everything. And thinking about Alice was definitely something that I needed to do sooner rather than later.

I was still reeling from the Cullen encounter, but hadn't been as horrible as I'd first imagined. I didn't believe for a moment that Edward was finished with me, though. The way he'd stormed out was evidence enough for me.

However, that didn't fill me with dread anymore. I'd gotten over him a long, long time ago, but that didn't mean that I'd ever been content with the way it ended. But now… now I had closure.

Now I could fully, completely move on with my life, with little of the past to haunt me.

But then there was Alice. She was a reminder of the past, and yet everything I'd ever wanted in a woman. Bad and good, all rolled into one tiny, gorgeous pixie.

I sighed, taking a sip from the coffee, glancing briefly around the rest of the shop. It was busy, people choosing to sit inside (sensibly), rather than chance the weather outside. It was loud with the sound of people chatting, the pungent smell of coffee permeating the air.

My phone buzzed on the table and I read the text quickly, smiling at the message. It was my dad he was out of the hospital and at home, probably going crazy from all the fussing Sue was going to be doing over him.

I was so glad that he was ok, especially seeing as I'd been so terrible at visiting. I'd never liked Forks in the first place, so what had transpired when I'd lived there had just been added excuse not to go back often. I vowed that I'd return again soon to see him back at home, and said as much in the reply I sent.

The thought of the look on my dad's face if I brought Alice with me on that visit made me smile but I knew I could never do that. She looked exactly the same, and it had been four years. No-one could get away with that, especially at the age that she claimed I couldn't look any more different than I had been in high school, and the same went for everyone else I knew.

And that presented me with a new (or I suppose it was old, just recycled), problem. For Alice would age and I would not.

The irony of the situation was not lost on me. It was precisely, really, the reason Edward had left me in the first place. The again, it wasn't like I didn't know what Alice was when I'd gotten involved with her.

"Stupid vampires," I muttered under my breath, the woman at the table next to mine eying me with concern. I fought a smile and turned my gaze back to the London world outside.

I knew I had a decision to make. A big decision. One that would change my life forever, for better, or for worse but how the hell did you find the strength to make a call like that?

x-x-x-x

"You look serious." Nikki's voice cut through my thoughts, interrupting my brooding, and I glanced up, forcing a smile at the sight of my friend. She slid into the seat opposite, gloved hands wrapped around a cup of tea. "What's up?"

"Nothing," I replied, deciding that two hours of pondering was more than enough for one day. "Just thinking."

"'Bout what? Your girlfriend?"

"She's not"

"Not your girlfriend, yeah, yeah, yeah. Heard it before, Bells. But you'd be a liar if you said you didn't want her to be." I looked up sharply, meeting Nikki's eyes there was a challenge in them, daring me to say she was wrong.

"It's not that simple," I said, dropping my gaze back to the table.

"Of course it is. You like her, and anyone with eyes can tell that she likes you. So, what's the problem?" I didn't say anything, terrified that if I opened my mouth the whole ugly truth would come pouring out and I couldn't endanger Nikki. I _wouldn't_. "Is it the brother? Because he seems like a right wanker don't let him stand in your way."

"It's just complicated, okay?" I said, fighting the smile that tugged at my lips at Nikki's opinion of Edward. "Can we drop it, just for now?" She narrowed her eyes at me, but she knew how I stubborn I was, and eventually looked away.

"Fine. But I won't keep quiet about it forever."

"I know."

"Then I'm glad we understand each other."

"So, what's new with you?" I asked, taking a sip from my coffee the third mug I'd gotten since I'd sat down. I was going to be all night at this rate then again, seeing as what Alice had promised me this morning, being wide awake was probably a good thing. The thought of tonight filled me with anticipation and yet, I was hesitant. I had the feeling that sex would tip the scales over for me, cloud my judgement, just when I needed a clear head.

But there was nothing that I wanted more than her so frustrated wasn't even the word for what I was feeling.

"Um, just the usual with me, really. Work. My dad finally left didn't say goodbye, but that's fine with me. And…" She trailed off, biting her lip, and I raised an eyebrow Nikki never looked so hesitant to say something.

"Aaaaaaand?"

"And I met someone."

"Wow."

"Yeah." She'd never been the settling-down type for as long as I'd known her she'd gone from fling to fling, never having a proper relationship. I hadn't even thought that she ever really fell for anyone, well, until me. I wondered if that was why she looked so awkward right now. We'd never really talked about that little incident, after all but now, a while later, was hardly the time to bring it up.

"How did you meet her?"

"Well, I… I've known her for a while. You haven't met her though, I know her through work. She liked me a while ago, but…"

"But?"

"I didn't think it was fair to go out with her when I had feelings for you," she mumbled eventually, looking everywhere but at me. I fought the urge to apologise, doubting it would do me any good she'd just say it wasn't my fault. And I knew it wasn't, but that didn't stop me feeling guilty for inadvertently hurting her. "Even though I knew nothing was going to happen between us," she added, still staring outside.

"Nikki, I"

"Don't." She took a deep breath and finally met my gaze, holding up one hand to stop me from saying any more. "I was already getting over it when I told you how I felt. I just… I didn't like seeing you talk about _her _when I wished you were talking about me. That might be stupid, but whatever.

"I think part of my infatuation with you was how similar you were to me. I've never really fallen for anyone before, so I didn't know what to do. But we're meant to be friends, I can see that now. We've known each other for too long, we're to close I wouldn't want to wreck that. So I don't want things to become awkward, that's why I didn't want to talk about it.

"But I've been getting to know this other girl, Katie, really well, and I think we have a shot. And you're my best friend, so you're the only one I really want to talk to about this stuff. And that goes for you, too, Bella if you want to talk about Alice, I'm here. Please don't think that you can't talk to me because of what happened. I'll always be here for you, I hope you know that."

"Of _course _I know that."

"Good. Because I want you to meet Katie. I think you'll really like her. And… I want to meet Alice. I mean, the few times I've spoken to her I've been kind of a bitch. And if she's got your head this messed up then I've got to meet her." She grinned at the expression on my face, before she climbed to her feet, glancing at her watch. "I've got to go, because I'm going out at seven walk with me?"

"Sure." We left together, arms linked, huddled closely together as we struggled through the wind outside. We stepped into the foyer of my apartment for respite, to be able to hear each other over the racket of the weather outside. "So, where are you going tonight?"

"On a date."

"You never date."

"I do now."

"Wow. I'm definitely going to have to meet this girl you're a changed woman already."

"Uh-huh. What are you doing later, then?"

"I…" I remembered what she'd said just a few minutes ago, in the coffee shop that I could talk to her about Alice, and feeling relieved for not having to keep things to myself any more. "I have a date too."

"Well, have fun," she smiled, pulling me into a hug and brushing a kiss against my cheek.

"You too," I murmured as she stepped back, zipping her coat up at high as it would go and saluting before she turned and opened the door, staring out.

"Wish me luck with getting home!" With a final grin she jogged through the open door, letting it slam through behind her. I shivered at the cold gust of air and made my way to the stairs, a smile on my face it was good to know that, whatever happened, I had someone there for me.

**A/N:**

**The responses to the last chapter were al lovely, thank you so much! It's good to know that there are so many of you still interested in this. **

**I have these little things called first-year exams, so there's the possibility that I could be slower than usual (sorry, I know I'm already terrible). **

**I'm considering wrapping this story up in a few chapters. The last one I did was 20 chapters, and that felt that a good amount I just thought I'd warn you.**

**As always, thoughts and opinions are welcomed. Thanks again to those of you who do. :D **


	15. Chapter 15

I smoothed out my dress for the umpteenth time, glancing at the clock hanging on the wall opposite. Two minutes later than it had the last time I checked. Still five minutes to go.

I'd never been so anxious over a date in my life – not even my first (last), date with Alice. It was the anticipation that was getting to me, along with the added conflict, the thoughts that had been swirling in my head since that afternoon. Seeing her again filled me with a mixture of twirling emotion, but I knew as soon as I saw her that those feelings would fade – because she had such an effect on me.

Yet another reason why I wanted her to get here already.

I knew she wouldn't be early, though. She'd be precisely on time – eight o' clock, not a second too early, not a second too late. I stood, moving to the bathroom to check my appearance once again – my make-up was still in place, eyes lined heavily with mascara and eye-liner, lipstick still in place.

I'd gone all out tonight.

My dress was black, with a plunging neck-line, revealing just enough cleavage to be classy, and not slutty. It stopped mid-thigh, and if I crossed my legs when I was sat down, the tops of the thigh-high stockings I'd worn for the occasions were _just _enough on show to tease. I'd even put on my best matching underwear for the occasion.

Sighing, I made my way back into the main room of my apartment, heels clicking on the hardwood floor. I pulled on my black leather jacket, prepared for the horrid weather, and checked my bag for the third time – phone, keys and purse were all inside, just like the last time I'd checked.

Eventually, the doorbell rang, and I ran to the door, running a quick hand through my messy, curled and sprayed hair to make sure I didn't look too eager, before yanking the door open.

"Hey," I said, slightly breathless at the sight of the beautiful vampire stood before me. She was positively beaming, eyes swimming with warmth as she leant forward to kiss me gently, lips against mine for only a few seconds before she stepped back.

"I missed you today," she murmured, leaning against the doorframe. I was half-tempted to grab her and drag her inside, but I refrained – I didn't want to ruin her plans, because I was fairly sure that they were going to be fun. "Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah," I replied, locking my door behind me and turning, a soft smile on my face reserved for the woman beside me. "It was fun. What did you do?"

"Nothing much. Just went for a walk."

"In this weather?" We started walking, Alice's arm linked with mine, our hands stuffed into our pockets against the cold. I let her lead the way, having absolutely no idea where we were going, content to just follow.

"I don't feel the cold, silly." It was almost like a slap in the face – another reminder of how completely different we were. A reminder of the decision, and the sacrifice I was going to have to make pretty soon – Alice, or my life.

I looked to the side, focusing on the bright lights of the flats and houses and some shops that we passed, blinking back the sudden tears that threatened to overwhelm me, biting my lip and forcing myself to stop being such an idiot. It was, after all, my own fault that I was in such a mess – well, not really, but I couldn't blame anyone else for my unfortunate attraction to vampires.

God, maybe there was something wrong with me.

Everyone else's reaction was to run or shy away, but me? Ohhh no, not me. I just went around kissing them.

"Oh yeah. I forgot." I remembered to reply to her, after a slight delay – that, or something changing in my voice, tipped her off because she pulled me to a halt, forcing me to face her and meet her worried gaze.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't… You don't sound fine."

"I'm just cold," I lied, hating seeing her look so sad, knowing that my own inability to control my voice and emotions was to blame. "Come on, let's go." I tugged on her reluctant arm and eventually she complied, leading the way by half a step once more.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, so low that I barely even heard her. I bit my lip, choosing to let her think that I _hadn't_ heard. We walked in silence then, and I let my mind wander. I could do this. For this night, I could feel like a normal girl, going out on a date with the person that I wanted to be with more than anything else.

I could enjoy it, without my thoughts being overshadowed by this issue – why my stupid mind had chosen today to focus on it, I didn't know. Well, I suppose I did – because I hadn't even really had time to truly _consider _what I relationship with Alice would involve.

But tonight, I could do this.

I squeezed Alice's arm softly, and she glanced up towards me, eyes still dark with concern. I managed a smile, and she pulled me to a stop, ducking under a nearby tree and leaning up to kiss me.

"I'm sorry for being so stupid," I muttered against her lips, and she shook her head.

"You weren't being stupid. I just wish you'd tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong." She shot me a look that screamed 'I don't believe you', so I made a face and back-tracked. "Okay, how about tonight, nothing's wrong? I just want to be with you tonight. That's all."

"M'kay," she said eventually, after eyeing me for a few seconds. She leaned up to peck my lips once more before taking my hand, twining our fingers together and leading me off once more. "Then let's go!"

Ten minutes later we stumbled into one of the nicest restaurants I'd ever been inside. The walls were mirrors, the place packed with people, all in various degrees of evening-wear. Even the waiters were dressed elegantly.

"You have a reservation?" The woman standing at the desk near the door called, eying the two of us critically.

"Yes, we do – it's under Brandon."

"Alice?" She nodded, and the woman turned and shouted something Italian to one of the passing waiters. He came over and they had a hushed conversation before he came over to us.

"I can take your coats, if you'd like?" He asked, a faint accent to his voice. I shook my head, as did Alice, and he motioned with one arm towards the intricate spiral staircase to our left. "If you'll follow me."

I shot Alice a look, but she just smiled and pressed forward after the waiter, leaving me with no other choice than to trail in their wake. The staircase let out into a beautiful rooftop garden, a glass canopy overhead protecting against rain.

There were only a handful of tables set out, no more than four or five, but only one was covered with a tablecloth – the one right at the centre. A fire blazed a few feet away, casting warmth across the balcony.

The waiter placed two menus on the table and gestured us over, helping first me into my seat and then Alice, before taking our drinks order and walking away.

"How did you manage this?" I asked, voice hushed with awe. It was cold, but the crackling flames from the fire chased it away, and I slid out of my coat, smirking at the way Alice's gaze went first to my chest, and then to my legs around the side of the table.

"When you have money, there's nothing you can't do," she said, leaning her elbow on the table and her head on the palm of her hand, eyes intense as she looked at me across the table.

"I feel bad though, you've spent so much - "

"Hey, you're not to worry about that, okay? Let me take care of you. I have a lot of money, saved up from years of investments – this is nothing. Alright?" I agreed reluctantly, realised when the waiter came back with our drinks that I hadn't actually even opened the menu yet. He disappeared again, and I opened it curiously, wondering what food somewhere like this did – and for how much.

"Thirty pounds for a _salad_?" I said in disbelief, glancing up to see Alice watching me, mouth quirked up into a smile. "How can a _salad _cost so much?"

"I told you not to worry about money."

"I'm not! I'm just wondering what self-respecting person would pay so much for a lettuce leaf." She laughed, and I glanced back across at her, wondering how I could have ever become so fortunate to have someone like her sat opposite me.

"What are you thinking about?"

"You," I replied, and she opened her mouth to say something, probably to ask more, but I was spared being questioned by the return of the waiter.

"What can I get for you ladies?"

"I'll have the ravioli, please," I said, closing the menu and handing it to him. He glanced at Alice expectantly but she shook her head and said something in Italian, to which he nodded, replied and then turned.

"Since when can you speak Italian?"

"It's not like I haven't had the chance it learn other languages, Bella. I've certainly had the time. I speak Greek, Latin, French and Spanish as well. I tried Chinese but the symbols got too much for me."

"Wow."

"It's not that impressive," she shrugged, and I was amazed at how she could be so nonchalant about being multi-lingual – I'd certainly never been any good at anything but English.

"Yes, it is." I took a sip from the glass of red wine I'd ordered, eying her over the rim of the glass.

"What?"

"Nothing. What did you say to that guy, anyway?"

"That I had bad allergies, and couldn't eat many foods."

"That's an understatement," I murmured, smiling. Our chat turned idle then, to basic details of what we'd been up to since we'd last seen each other – which we'd never really gotten into before. Four years was a lot of ground to cover, and the time passed quickly.

Alice spoke while I ate, and I listened with interest to the things she'd been up to – her designing hadn't just been an elaborate ruse to meet me again, she actually _was _pretty big in the fashion world.

"I can't get too well-known though, obviously. I've been mainly focusing on UK fashion, keeping it small, so that word doesn't get out too much. In other countries I've got designs out under different names – I've submitted them to people."

"For no profit?"

"I'm not in for the money – it's not like I need it. Besides, I do it because I enjoy it. I get a rush seeing a model wearing my clothes in a fashion shoot or show." Her eyes lit up, sparkling with passion for her work, and I couldn't help but find it adorable. It was clear how much she loved it with the reverence that laced her words, the expression on her face.

I loved what I did, but I knew that when I spoke about it, it was with nowhere near the high regard that Alice showed with every word.

"I'm sorry," she said after I'd finished eating, her face apologetic, "I know you hate fashion. I've probably been boring you."

"Not at all – I might not like fashion, but hearing you talk about your life is perfectly fine with me." I glanced up, seeing that the light rain had stopped, and stood, going to the edge of the balcony and leaning against the railing.

The city spread out before me, as far as I could see. Lights twinkled everywhere, beautiful points of light, illuminating the world. I could see the Thames, the buildings on its banks reflected in the black, churning water.

Farther afield I could see the more famous landmarks – Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, the Houses of Parliament and the London Eye, they too glittering with light, despite the late hour.

This was why I loved this city – it was beautiful even in the dead of night. It was _alive_, regardless of the hour.

And it was home.

"It's pretty, isn't it?" Alice murmured from my side. I hadn't heard her get up, but that was hardly surprising. She could move soundlessly when she wanted to, after all. I turned slightly to get her profile along with the cityscape, wishing I had a camera to immortalise this moment. Her perfection and the city's, side by side.

"It's perfect," I replied, admiring the way the way she was framed by the lights strung up along the balcony, illuminating her face in a soft, gentle glow. Her eyes, focused on the distance, glittered, swimming with hidden emotions. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing specifically," but her voice was quiet, making me wonder if there was something she was keeping from me - then again, if that bothered me, then I was a hypocrite. "The Voltui will be here soon," she murmured after a few minutes of silence. "Next week. Five days."

"Should I be worried?" Standing there, on that rooftop, feeling like the world was spread out before me, it felt like nothing in the world could touch me. The fact that my life might be in danger was a world away from how I felt right now – I guess that just went to show how quickly things could change. One minute, life was perfect, and the next – the next could be your last.

"No."

"Can you see the future that clearly?" I was teasing, of course – I knew how subjective her visions could be.

"No, but…"

"But what?"

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you, and that's a promise." Her voice was low, fierce, and when I looked to my side she was a mere few centimetres away, so close I could feel her breath on my face. "I _can't _let anything happen to you."

Her face turned anguished, and I could think of nothing to reassure her with – I knew she wouldn't appreciate the lie of saying everything would be okay, because there was a possibility that it wouldn't be. After all, a horde of angry vampires were going to come knocking down my door, and that wasn't exactly risk-free.

Strangely, the thought didn't bother me. Maybe it was because the threat had been hanging over me for so long that I was used to it; or maybe five days just didn't seem all that close – especially right here, in this moment.

I didn't have to think of a response though because she kissed me then, leaning up and winding her hands around my neck, pulling herself closer to me, pressing her body tightly against my own, pushing me back into the railings.

The kiss was hard, passionate, setting my heart racing and my skin aflame with heat – I was breathless when she pulled back, cheeks flushed, trying to catch my breath. The waiter reappeared, took my plate away and left behind the bill, face neutral when he glanced towards us – I waited until he'd gone before I tried to speak.

"What was that for?"

"I don't want to lose you," she murmured, not looking at me again. I bit my lip, wondering if this was solely to do with the Volturi, or whether she had any idea of the thoughts that had plagued me all day. I knew I unlikely to find out unless I asked (and even then, it was doubtful), so I remained silent.

I watched the people walking below, little more than shadows on the pavement, wondering what it would be like to be down there, wandering idly, without a care in the world. I sighed and shivered as an unexpectedly cold gust of wind blasted across the balcony, my hair flying in my face.

"We should get you back." Alice finally turned and brushed a gentle kiss against my lips. "Because phase two of my plan doesn't involve us staying out here all night," she breathed the words against my lips, and I shivered again – only this time it wasn't because of the cold.

She paid the bill and then we were off back to my apartment, walking much more quickly than we had been on the way there, both anxious to be alone.

As soon as we were inside the door, I was on her, slamming her back against the wood, hands already tugging at her shirt impatiently – not that she was complaining. Her lips devoured mine hungrily, hands running hungrily along my body before settling for my hips, pulling me ever closer.

We stumbled our way to my bedroom without incident, still kissing, hands still fumbling, and I was pushed back onto the bed, a triumphant Alice breaking our kiss to straddle my hips, looking down at me with hungry eyes.

"You're sure about this?" Her voice was husky, and she managed to make every word drip with desire.

"I'm sure," I replied, voice catching when she ran one hand from my knee to my hip, sliding under the skirt of my dress. She raked her nails along the stockings underneath and my eyes fluttered closed at the contact, a soft sigh leaving my lips. "I trust you."

"I'm glad." My hands found her hips, tugging at the material of the red, skin-tight dress she wore – I leaned up and peeled it over her head, trying not to ogle the perfection that lay underneath.

She was gorgeous, in every aspect – her pale skin was flawless, the dark blue underwear she was wearing contrasting starkly. I'd never in my life found someone as sexy as I found her in that moment (and to be fair, I'd had my fair share of women in bed).

I shifted so that her legs were wrapped around my waist, and we were both sitting up – I kissed her softly, our tongues moving together in a well-practiced dance, as she bunched my dress around me hips and lifted it over my head in one smooth motion.

I ran one hand through her hair as she joined our lips once more, fingers tightening as she dug her nails into the skin of my back, pushing us closer together so that there was no space between us. She felt glorious against me, only separated by the (very thin), barrier of our underwear. The chill of her skin was fought off by the heat coursing through my body – as well as the fact that I'd cranked the heating up to maximum before I'd gone out.

I wanted to be fully prepared for the nights' activities, after all.

We stayed tangled up for a while, kissing languidly, getting used to the feel of each other before I got flipped onto my back again, eager hands running down my sides, cupping my breasts and tugging at my nipples gently, cold touch making my hips buck into hers, my fingers tightening in her hair.

Her lips ran along my neck, trailing lower, and she flicked the (front) clasp of my bra open with an impatient flick of her fingers, tracing her tongue around one nipple with her very capable fingers played with the other.

"_God_, you are _far _too good at this," I managed to pant out between moans, and I felt her smirk against my skin. Her hands trailed to my hips, tracing tantalising patterns as she went, trailing dangerously close to the one place I wanted her to be.

She lifted her head to kiss me again, her thigh falling between my legs as I shifted, bearing her weight down on my centre. I groaned, and she pushed into me, the cold on hot sensation making it a thousand times better.

She pulled away to let me breathe, leaning her weight on one arm and looking down at me, hair framing her face, eyes dark and wild – hungry, but with desire. It'd never crossed my mind before how much self-control she truly had – with Edward, he'd barely even been able to kiss me without losing it. Maybe he just hadn't had enough to restraint to trust that he wouldn't hurt me.

But she did.

"I love you," she murmured, so quietly that I barely even heard her, but my eyes snapped up to meet hers when the words registered, eyes widening. I knew she felt that way about me , of _course _I knew, but she'd never said the words out loud before.

Explicitly.

_To _me. Whilst looking at me with those damn eyes, clearly waiting for a response.

"I… I…" But I couldn't do it. I was falling for her, that I knew, but I still hadn't decided that the hell I was going to do. I couldn't be expected to make a decision regarding the rest of my life in a single day, could I?

And it was be unfair to say anything to her when I was so unsure, unfair to give her an 'I love you too' when I wasn't sure I meant it – or, if I did, to snatch that away if I decided that this relationship wasn't the best thing, long-term.

So I hesitated, and I saw her face fall. Saw her eyes switch to wary, guarded. And I definitely noticed when she pulled back, kneeling on the bed and looking at me with a hurt look on her face.

"Bella?"

"I… I want to mean it. When I say it, I want to mean it. Otherwise, it makes it meaningless." I reached for her arm as she started to move away from me, getting slowly to her feet, eyes never leaving my face. "Alice, please - "

"You don't love me?" She asked, voice carefully controlled – calm, flat, and empty. "You don't know if you _will ever_ love me?"

"I… It's not that _simple_!"

"It is, actually. You either want to be with me, or you don't. There's no in-between. Don't feel like you have to be with me out of obligation – I'll be out of your hair in a few days, then your decision should be relatively easy."

She didn't give me a chance to retaliate – she'd already seized her dress and stalked from the room, so quick she was a blur. I caught my bedroom door before it banged shut – but there was no sign of her in the room beyond.

She was gone.

**A/N:**

**Reviews are lovely. Even if they're telling me how mean I am, like I imagine they could be. ;) **

**Also sorry if there are any continuity errors. I wish I had the time to check between every update that all the details fit with the other chapters, but I don't. And I have too much of a short-term memory to remember all the details that previously happened! **


	16. Chapter 16

I don't know how long I stood in the doorway, staring into the empty room, before I broke down. I just snapped, the realisation of what had happened crashing into me like a tonne of bricks. I slid to the floor, tears blurring my eyesight, and cried until I couldn't breathe, sobs escaping as little more than ragged gasps.

I was still curled up, trying to get myself under control, when my phone chimed with a text – my bag had been dropped to the floor, forgotten about, when Alice and I had cleared the door – and I scrambled over to it, still in my underwear, praying that it was Alice.

It wasn't.

It was Nikki, asking if I was free tomorrow to meet up – she wanted to tell me about the 'awesome' date she'd had, and figure out when Alice and I were free to meet her. Tears started to fall again, my eyes stinging, so I did the only thing I felt like I could do without breaking down even more – I called my best friend.

"Hey, Bella, what's up?"

"I… I… Can you come over here? Please?" I hated to upset her when she sounded so happy, but I wasn't going to fare well on my own, not tonight. Plus, I was in work tomorrow – I needed someone to calm me down before I had to show my face there.

"What's wrong? Bella?" Panic crept into her voice, and I felt awful for making her worry, but I could barely even manage to string a sentence together, let alone explain.

"Just… Please come over." She didn't say anything else, just hung up. Ten minutes later Nikki flung the door of my apartment over, worried eyes immediately going to me, taking in the scene. She was on the floor in-front of me quick as a flash, kneeling and wiping the tears away from my face with the sleeve of her jumper.

"Bella, what happened?" Her voice was soft, gentle, and I leaned forward, resting my head on her shoulder. She hugged me, rubbing my back gently – I'd never lost it like this in front of her before. She probably didn't know what the fuck to do, but bless her for trying. "Come on, let's get you into bed," she murmured, managing to pull me to my feet.

I walked numbly to my bedroom, and she wrapped me gently in an over-sized t-shirt, muttering to herself about the temperature in my apartment and disappeared briefly (presumably to turn it back down).

I curled on my side in my bed while she was gone, and I felt it dip with the weight of another body soon after – turning, I saw that she'd gotten changed into shorts and a t-shirt like me, and was sliding into the covers beside me.

"What are you doing?" I managed to ask, my voice cracking slightly. There was a glass of water on my bedside table – I didn't remember putting it there, or seeing her put it there, but she must have done. I took a sip, wincing at how raw my throat felt – just from crying.

"You didn't think I was just going to leave you alone in this state, did you? You know me better than that."

We fell into comfortable silence then, and Nikki got up to turn the light off when she figured that I was all cried out. I felt her slip back into the bed beside me, warmth at my side where Alice had been cold.

"I'm sorry," I murmured into the darkness, feeling safer now that I knew she couldn't see me. My voice held steady this time, thankfully. "I probably ruined your evening."

"You did no such thing. She wasn't staying over. And even if she was – I'm here for you whenever you need me, Bella. No matter what time, if you need me you call me." I wondered what I'd done to deserve a friend like her, but I was definitely glad that I had. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"We had a fight," I muttered, more into my pillow than to her.

"Yeah, no shit. About what?"

"She told me she loved me. I told her I wasn't ready."

"And she got pissed?"

"Pretty much. There's more to it than that, though," I sighed, wishing I could lay all my problems out on the table and let her work through them with me – but that wasn't possible, and it was something that I was going to have to work through myself.

"Are you actually not ready, or did you just say that?" I didn't answer, but she wasn't letting up easily. "_Do _you love her? Because you shouldn't throw away something just because you're scared. I know I don't know the whole story, because I can tell you're keeping things from me – but that's cool. You must have your reasons, and I respect that. I know you'd tell me if you could.

"But I think that if you have something with someone, if they love you and you love them – and I think you do love her Bella, I think you're just scared to admit that to yourself – then I think it's stupid to throw that away.

"Issues can be worked out. They can, if you love them enough to stay. And you may not officially be together, but you've known her for a while – it's not like you've just met. You know her, and she knows you. So whatever's standing in your way, work it out. Because you don't throw away your chance at happiness over something stupid. You work at it."

"When did you get so wise?"

"I've always been wise; my wiseness has just been wasted on you because you're such a smartass yourself." She shifted in the bed, to get more comfortable, and I realised how much I'd missed our easy friendship when things had been a little-but-not-so-to-bad-as-to-mention-it awkward between us.

"Seriously though, Bells. Don't throw this away. You've changed in the last few weeks. You're… You're happier. You might not have seen it, but I have – I've never seen you go so seriously for a girl before. She's good for you. So don't fuck it up."

"Thanks for that," I said dryly, though feeling much better than I had before.

"You're welcome. Now get the fuck to sleep so that you're not a cranky bitch when you wake up early for work in the morning." I smiled, snuggling down into the covers, thinking over what she'd said – if nothing else, she'd at least improved my mood.

Next thing I was aware of was my blaring alarm, and Nikki shaking my arm, trying to get me to wake up. After much protest and grunts on my behalf, I was finally standing upright, glaring at my friend, who just tried to bite back a smile.

"You need to get ready."

"I need _coffee_."

"It's already on. I'm such a good friend – and what do you do for me in return? Nothing."

"I honour you with my presence. Now shoo while I go shower." I was fully awake by the time I walked back into my bedroom, one towel wrapped around my hair and the other around my body – a mug of coffee sat waiting for me, and I took a grateful gulp before throwing on underwear and starting to dry my hair.

Fifteen minutes later I was ready, strolling into the living room to see Nikki sprawled on my couch, watching the crappy early-morning television. I still felt awful about what had transpired last night, but I didn't feel anywhere near as bad as I had at the time. I leaned on the arm of the couch, sipping at the last of my coffee.

"Do you want me to walk with you to work?"

"No, it's alright. Are you not in today?"

"Yeah, but not until twelve. I'm on the closing shift today." We spoke for a little bit longer while I finished my drink, one eye always on the time. I left not long after, pulling on a coat and sliding my bag over my shoulder.

The air outside was cool, as per usual for early November, but thankfully it wasn't still raining. Last night had left puddles on every available surface, and I skirted them carefully along the way. The walk cleared my head, and I felt able to face the day by the time I jogged up the steps of the magazine's building.

I made it to my office without seeing anyone from my floor, and paused in the doorway, staring with dismay at the pile of papers that covered my desk. I'd been gone a week, and apparently now I was overloaded.

"Bella, you're back!" Alex's voice brought a smile to my face, and I turned just in time to be nearly bowled over by a hug, and laughed.

"Wow, maybe I should take a break more often. Did you miss me or something?"

"She missed having to do more work than she's used to," said Lisa, appearing over Alex's shoulder, smile on her face. "Welcome back. You can have your pick of those assignments – we couldn't decide which one would be best for this issue, so take your pick."

I sat in my desk chair and sighed, the pile seeming even bigger when I was sat in-front of it. Half were specifications for articles that needed approving for publication and then actually writing (because I'd been working her for so long I was trusted enough to shift through and find the decent ones, and pass them off to other people to write as well as do them myself), and others were ones that had been written that needed editing. I liked the variation with what I did – it meant I wasn't stuck doing the same thing all day every day.

I soon got back into the swing of being back, and blasted through the first few folders, adding them to piles according to what they needed doing. Lisa's knock on the door a few hours later was one of the few times I looked up, and I beckoned her inside.

"What's up?"

"I was just checking you're doing okay."

"Yeah, I'm fine." She looked like she had something else to say, and I waited for a few seconds. "Is there something else?"

"Well I…"

"Yes?"

"I was just wondering… That designer, seeing as you seemed to know her… I was just wondering if you knew why she left so abruptly."

"I… I don't know, I'm sorry." I didn't like having to lie to her, but I could say 'Oh, yeah, she just had to go and visit her vampire family in order to stop her psycho brother who also happens to be my ex from coming down here when I really didn't want him to'. She seemed to accept the answer though, and left soon after.

The rest of the day passed in a blur, and everyone was packing up to leave. I stayed behind for around an hour later to catch up on everything and get everything that I'd need to do tomorrow sorted out.

It was dark when I left at around half six, the sky an unforgiving and ominous grey, and I walked quickly home, afraid it was going to rain. I was about five minutes away when I thought I heard someone whisper my name, but I shook it off, thinking my mind was playing tricks on me.

But then they said it again, right behind me, and the touch of cold fingers to my wrist made me whirl around, freezing when I saw who stood behind me.

"What are doing?" I managed to say, backing away a few steps. There were people all around – not as many as I'd have liked, but enough so that I felt confident that if I screamed, someone would help me. Or so I hoped.

"I wanted to talk to you. I thought that would have been obvious." Edward Cullen released my arm and lent backwards onto the railing that stood behind him. His eyes were darker than I liked to see, but there was little menace in them – for now.

"About what?" I was tense, wondering what he could possibly want. I'd always known that there was the possibility of him turning up again, but I hadn't really expected it to be so… well, sudden. He was silent for a long time, his focused on mine, a slightly pained expression on his face.

"I'm sorry." The two words hung in the air between us, and I frowned, sure that I'd misheard.

"What?"

"I'm _sorry_."

"…What for?" I almost wanted to pinch myself; I was so sure that this must be a dream. There was no way that this could actually be happening, no way at all.

"For everything. For leaving you. For not looking back. For…" He trailed off, finally looking away me, turning his gaze into the distance, past me. I could almost swear there was a sheen to his eyes, as if he were crying – but then I blinked and the moment passed. "For getting in the way of you and Alice."

"I… why are you saying this?"

"Because I did love you, once. I think I still might do, but I know you and I aren't meant to be. I always knew, on some level, but… I was in love with you, and I was selfish, and I wanted you for myself. I never thought there was any conceivable way for you to be with her as you once were with me, but… I see I was wrong."

"I'm… sorry?" I had no idea how to deal with this situation – he made me uncomfortable at the best of times, and this was definitely not one of the best of times. I'd much prefer him to be yelling at me than talking about our past. _Much _prefer it.

"No, you shouldn't be sorry. It's my fault, all if it. I'm sorry for being selfish, and for trying to put myself before everything. I… want you to be happy with my sister, if you can. I fear I've destroyed her relationship with me too much, but perhaps someday she'll forgive me. I don't begrudge her you. You're meant for her, and you should be together."

He was looking at me expectantly, and I desperately tried to think of something, anything so say, but he had me stunned into silence. I'd never imagined him being able to step up, but I supposed that when you'd been alive for as long as he had, you weren't really going to get much more mature.

"Thank you, Edward," I managed eventually, words sticking in my throat. "I… I appreciate this. I really do."

"I'm also sorry that it took me so long to say," he said, slightly sheepish smile on his face. He ran a hand through his bronze hair nervously, eyes skittering from behind me and then to my face. "I'd, ah, better make a quick exit."

I glanced behind to notice a small somebody leaning against a lamppost not too far away, and I bit my lip at the sight of Alice – for what was I going to say to her? The thought of last night made my chest constrict, and a lump from in my throat. Everything came rushing back, and I fought the tears that threatened my eyes – I wasn't going to let Edward see me cry.

"Might be for the best. Thank you, again," I murmured, eyes flicking back to him briefly. He nodded, soft, sad smile on his face, and then turned and walked away, hands in his pockets. I watched him go for a few seconds, both preparing what I was going to say to Alice, and also still awed over the conversation that had just taken place, before I sighed and turned, walking towards my fate.

Alice's eyes were unreadable when I reached her, and she didn't say I word, just turned and fell into step beside me. The silence was unbearable, but I dared not break it, for fear of breaking down. I knew she was still pissed at me, could feel words unspoken in the air between us, but I kept quiet until we reached my building. I slipped inside the door and let her in, and did the same at my apartment.

She stalked inside, stopping only when she reached the window that dominated one wall, and looked outside. I took a deep breath, shut the door, and went and poured myself a glass of wine – something told me I was going to need it.

It was only when I'd sat down on the couch and had drank half the glass that I finally chanced a look at her. She stood facing me, arms crossed across her chest, looking especially scary in a black coat that reached her knees and was pulled tightly across her body.

Well, I say scary, but that was mostly the guarded expression on her face – mostly she just looked hot.

"Are you just going to stare at me all night, or…?" A flicker of anger flashed through her eyes, and I was glad to get at least _some _response from her. Then it was just back to glaring – and that just made _me _angry. "Look, I'm sorry, okay. But you don't get to yell at me just because I'm not ready to commit to you yet.

"I've known I have feelings for you for what, two, two and half weeks? _You don't get to berate me for that_. You have no _right _to do that. I thought you were gone, all of you, for good, and then you come waltzing back in here and tell me you've been in love with me since the moment you first saw me.

"So you don't get to be pissed at me just because I didn't say 'I love you', back. You don't get to do that. And you don't get to make me feel like crap for being honest. Would it have been better if I lied? Would you have liked that better?"

My fingers tightened on the wine glass in my hand, jaw clenching in anger, and it was only that I realised how much holding on to all of this had gotten to me. I guess it really was bad to bottle things up.

"No, I wouldn't have liked that better." Her voice was cold, and the chill carried itself into my heart, settling like a stone in my chest. She wasn't looking at me anymore, she'd turned and was looking out into the dark streets below, but I could see her reflection in the glass, and the pained look in her eyes.

"Then why did you leave? You didn't even give me a chance to explain." Some of my fury left me when I saw her eyes, but I was still riled up – I wasn't letting this go until we'd talked it out properly. Whether that took minutes or hours, it didn't matter. I didn't want to feel the way I had done last night ever again, and I was fairly sure that Alice would feel the same.

"I was angry, Bella. I left because I was so, so angry, and I didn't want you to see that. I know it's not your fault, that you can't force how you feel about me, but... You have to understand where I'm coming from."

"I know where you're coming from, I said that before. But just because you've loved me for so long doesn't mean that you can be angry with me because I don't feel the same!"

"Bella," she said, frustration lacing her voice as she finally turned around to face me. "Can't you see _why _I was so angry? You know how long I've felt that way for you; I didn't try to hide that. But if there was a possibility that you might to be with me after it all, after the Volturi danger's been averted, then _why_ would you get so involved with me?" Her voice cracked, raw emotion in her voice, and I looked away, unable to stand the look in her eyes for any longer.

"I…" I trailed off, not knowing what to say. Much to my chagrin, she had a point; it just wasn't one I'd really considered. It was selfish of me, I realised, but at the same time, I wasn't solely at fault. "Why did _you _go along with it? I don't believe for a second that you didn't know there was the possibility that I didn't know what the fuck I wanted."

"You say that I have a choice," she said, bitter laugh on her lips. "Like I could ever resist you. I _love _you, you idiot – there's nothing I can deny you. I've wanted you for over four years, as if I was going to turn you away when you kissed me. You're my one and only weakness, Bella."

"I'm sorry," I murmured, unable to stand the look in her eyes, or the way her voice cracked. My anger had dissipated as fast as it had come, but I didn't move closer to her like I wanted to. "I'm _sorry_. I never meant to hurt you."

"I know you didn't, Bella, I know. But you did. And that's why I left – I needed you to understand that. So _you _don't get to be mad at me for leaving. I needed some space."

"I think I did, too." I looked away, letting the silence fall between us, before I looked up again. "Do you understand _me_ though, Alice? Do you understand why I can't say it yet?"

"Because you won't be with me unless I turn you. And you haven't decided with your life is worth giving up for love." I raised my eyes to hers, trying to fight back the tears that threatened at her tone of voice. I knew this conversation was going to be hard (maybe that was why I'd put it off for so long), but that didn't make it any easier.

"I'm sorry," was all I could manage, and a single tear escape from one eye – I wiped it away hastily, but not before she saw.

"You shouldn't be sorry. It's a big decision to make."

"I meant I was sorry for you hurting you."

"You already apologised for that. Or did you mean because you thought that I didn't know what you were struggling with? I'm physic, Bella. You should know that there's little you can hide from me."

"Did you know what Edward was going to do?" I felt that a change in subject was necessary, giving the circumstances, and she didn't deny me. Maybe she needed to collect her thoughts as much as I did mine.

"Not until this morning. I knew he never left with the others, but I never suspected he would. I knew he wasn't finished. What changed his mind, I don't know, but… Who can say why people do what they do?"

Silence reigned again and I downed the last of my until-then forgotten about wine. I stood to go and get another glass when there was a knock on the door. I frowned until I heard a key turning in the lock, and wondered whether I should stop Nikki from coming in or not. I decided against it though, and she poked her head inside the door a second later, eyes widening when she saw Alice.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just thought I'd come see if you were okay seeing as you weren't answering my calls… But now I see why. No worries, I'll come back later." She started to pull away and leave, but Alice's voice cut through the air, clear and cold once more.

"No, you don't need to go. I do, though." She turned back to face me, resignation on her face. "You have a decision to make – I wouldn't want to get in the way of that. I'll be back tomorrow, around the same time…" She trailed off, walking over to me and leaning close, speaking quietly so that Nikki wouldn't overhear. "Whatever you choose, I'll accept it. Don't consider me in this choice – I don't want you to resent me for it later on. I've already told you, I can deny you nothing. But we do only have four days before the Volturi are upon us, you mustn't forget that."

She left then, slipping past Nikki and out of the door, shutting it with a definitive click behind her. I sighed, glanced at the empty glass and filled it to the brim once more. Nikki stayed by the door, watching me for a few seconds, before she broke the silence.

"Sooo… I'm guessing that went well?"


	17. Chapter 17

"Swimmingly," I replied, not even trying to keep the sarcasm from my voice. "You want a glass?"

"Better had, because if I don't I have the feeling you're going to drink the whole bottle yourself." I grabbed another glass and filled it, and she walked over to pick it up, sitting in one of the seats at the breakfast bar in my kitchen (the closest thing to a table I had), and eyeing me carefully. "You okay?"

"I'm… dealing with it," I sighed, siting heavily in the seat next to her.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Alright," she agreed, but I could tell that she was reluctant. "How was your first day back at work?"

"It wasn't too bad. Had loads to do, so it kept me busy." We chatted idly for a few more minutes, and I was grateful for the distraction. I didn't really want to be alone with my thoughts, though I knew she couldn't stay forever.

"Do you want me to stay over again tonight?" She asked, as though she'd read my mind. Knowing I'd regret it, but knowing I didn't really have a choice, I shook my head.

"No, I'll be okay. 'Sides, you should go be with your girl."

"Nah, she's working tonight. She works part-time as a bartender to get some extra cash."

"That's cool. We'll set up that meeting sometime soon, yeah? Now's just not a really good time."

"No, no, it's fine. We'll figure something out." She drank the last of the wine and got to her feet, and I walked with her to the door. "You'll call me if you need anything? You promise?"

"I promise," I murmured, giving her a quick hug before she left. My apartment felt much lonelier once she'd gone, and I realised it had been quite a while since I'd been on my own for long in here. I glanced at the clock – eight, so I had plenty of time to kill. I couldn't usually get to sleep unless I went to bed later then eleven. Otherwise I just lay there, tossing and turning until I'd worn myself out.

I snatched my phone up from the table where I'd left it, clicking off all the messages and missed calls I had from Nikki, and dialled a number as familiar to me as my own.

"Hello?" The voice that answered the phone wasn't my dad's. In fact, it was the voice of the one person who could compete for Edward for douche of the year award – and considering the conversation Edward and I had had yesterday, Jacob Black was probably winning.

"Jacob," I muttered, voice as cold as I could manage to make it. I still hadn't forgiven him for injuring me – my ribs still gave the occasional twinge now and then, but I'd barely noticed my wrist since the day I'd broken it. I still wore a bandage, but the painkillers I'd been ordered to take by the doctor made sure that it didn't bother me.

"Isabella," he replied, matching my tone.

"What are you doing at my house?"

"I'm helping to look after your Dad, seeing as his own daughter isn't here to do that."

"Fuck you," I said, composure cracking under the contempt in his voice. "Put him on the phone."

"Fuck _you_ – what the hell are you doing back with _them _anyway?"

"It's none of your fucking business what I do with my life. Now put my Dad on the phone." I thought he was going to refuse me, but with a few more mumbled curses I heard footsteps, and then his hushed voice, presumably telling my Dad who was calling.

"Hey, Bella!" His voice came down the phone a few moments later, refreshingly warm and welcome after Jacob's icy words, and I couldn't help a smile.

"Hey, I thought I'd check how you were doing."

"Oh, I'm fine, you don't need to worry, Bells. Sue's doing enough fussing over me – I can't so much as offer to do something, you should see the death glare I get. Are you back at work?"

"Yeah, I had a fair bit to do today but I stayed behind and caught up, so I'm up-to-date. You're not planning on going back to work soon, are you?" Being in the police in Forks wasn't exactly a challenging job – it wasn't like there murders every week like in the cities – but still.

"You're starting to sound like Sue," he laughed, and I heard Sue in the background laughing too. "No, I won't be. I'm thinking of retiring actually. We've got enough funds to make it possible, so… I figure why not? Maybe this was a sign that I should take it easy."

"That sounds like a good idea."

"It certainly does. Rest and plenty of it! Jake's sending out wedding invitations in the next few days, did he tell you? Are you going to be coming up to see us?" I winced at the mention, because I was fairly sure that if I had an invitation at all it would be only because Sue and my Dad would have forced him to. I really didn't want to go, but I couldn't exactly tell my Dad that – after all, Jake and I were technically going to be family after the wedding.

It wasn't a comforting thought.

"I'll… I'll see whether I can make it," was the response I came out with, and that seemed to make him happy enough. I hung up soon after, with promises to call again soon, and as soon as I hung up I was dialling a second number.

"You know, when I said you should call more often, I didn't mean every two days. Once a week would suffice," was the response I got when Angela picked up the phone. I rolled my eyes and settled back onto the couch, knowing this would be a longer conversation than the one with Charlie. Providing Angela didn't have anywhere to be, the girl could talk for hours.

"I'll hang up then, shall I?"

"Well you've made the effort to call; I can hardly send you away so soon, can I? That wouldn't be very charitable of me." I switched the TV on for background noise, because it was far too quiet to not have anything playing. "How are you?"

"Not too bad."

"My bullshit detector's going off, Swan. What's wrong?" I didn't answer, and I heard her sigh on the other end of the phone. "Don't you make me come all the way to London just to find out what's up with you."

"You wouldn't come out here."

"I would if you needed me to. I'd complain about it a hell of a lot, and make you pay costs, but I would do it. Now, tell me what's up before I get pissed. Is it the women in your life? Is it Alice?" I hesitated, wondering how much I could tell her. I decided on the truth – or part of it, at least.

"Yeah, it is."

"What did she want?"

"She… She told me she was in love with me." Silence was my only response, and I wished I could see the look an Angela's face – maybe we should have Skyped instead.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me."

"That makes no sense. I mean, I always thought you had a thing for her, but - "

"_What_?"

"Oh, come on, honey. There were signs. You thought she was hot. Hell, _I _thought she was hot, but you certainly gave her the occasional sideways glance." I was astounded by Angela's words, frowning down the phone and wondering if there was any truth to her words. Then again, she hardly had any reason to lie to me.

"But I… _Really_?"

"Yeah. I just thought it was admiration, but when you came out I figured you'd always had a crush on her but hid it because y'know, you were dating her brother. But I never would've guessed that she liked you."

"Well, she did. Does, even."

"What did you say to her?"

"Well, she didn't exactly tell me she loved me straight away…" I trailed off, and Angela tutted impatiently.

"Get on with the story! Don't leave me hanging. She didn't tell you she loved straight away…? Oh, my God, you totally banged her."

"I did _not_!"

"Alright, alright. You usually do, not my fault for making that mistake!" I could tell she was trying not to laugh, and shook my head. "Come on then, what happened?" I ended up telling her most of the story, omitting the parts that I couldn't let her know about, inventing another excuse for Alice happening to be at my office that fateful day. I felt a lot better saying it all out loud, even though it didn't really help me get my head straight.

"Wow, Bella. You got some really crappy luck with your love life. And Cullens. Do you know what you're going to do?"

"Not yet. But I will soon."

"Well, for what it's worth…"

"What?"

"I think you should go for it. You haven't been serious about anyone, not properly serious like this, with anyone since Edward. I don't think you should let her go, I really don't. I mean, look at me and Ben. I never would have thought it could happen, and that I could be this happy, but I am. And I think you deserve that too."

I hung up not so long after, and lay on the couch, staring blankly at the ceiling. I wished it could be so easier – just choose love. But it wasn't that easy. Or was it?

Four years ago, an eternity with the person I loved had meant everything to me. I'd been young, hopelessly in love for the first time, and cared about little else. But now I was older. I'd carved a life for myself, in this city, and I liked things the way they were. I had a good relationship with my Dad, even though I rarely saw him (my Mom was a different story), I had great friends, and a job that I adored.

Sure, the job didn't really matter; in the long run I could do whatever the hell I wanted. I could write articles for a dozen lifetimes, or dabble in anything else I desired. That wasn't my issue, though. I didn't want to leave behind the people I'd come to know and love, in place of one.

Speaking to my Dad, Angela and Nikki hadn't made my choice any easier. Hell, I'd even miss Alex and Lisa at work. And I could never really come to love any other people that were human if I was turned – only other vampires.

The thought was a daunting one, but then I closed my eyes and saw Alice's face. The promises she'd made to keep me safe, the way she said my name, and the way she looked at me with such obvious affection and adoration. I couldn't believe how much she'd shown me of love in the past short few weeks, as opposed to what Edward had shown me in several months.

I did love her – I'd already known that all along, I just wasn't ready to accept it. Since that first night in the park, I'd been falling for her, so hard and fast that it was both terrifying and exhilarating, all at once.

And could I see myself spending the rest of my life with her? Well, it was more than that amount of time, to be true. For there was no way I was going to stay with her and get older, while she stayed perpetually nineteen. I couldn't live like that, and I doubted she could either.

So that left me with the same choice: life, or death. Love, or heartbreak. Loss, or… loss. It was just a question of which loss was harder to bear.

"Bella?" The voice came later than I'd expected – I was set to go home in fifteen minutes, and I'd left the letter on Lisa's desk as soon as I'd arrived at work that morning. I looked up to see her standing uncertainly in the doorway, a frown etched onto her face. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." She shut the door behind her and sat in the chair opposite mine, on the other side of the desk.

"What's the meaning of this?" She asked, holding the letter of resignation I'd written and handed in that morning. I sighed, wishing that I didn't have to do this but knowing that it was what I needed to do.

"I'm sorry, Lisa, I really am."

"Is it something to do with - "

"It's nothing to do with anything here, Lisa. Really, I've had the best few years here; it's been the best job that I could have hoped for, honestly. But… Things are bad at home. I want to go back and spend some time with my Dad. Help out a little. It might not be permanent, but…" I trailed off, hating the way the spilt so easily from my tongue. Understanding flickered in her eyes, but I knew she wouldn't give up easily.

"I thought your Dad was doing better?"

"He is, but… I just feel terrible about the way I've acted towards my family lately. I want to make that up now, if it's not too late. I can probably get a job in Seattle and commute."

"You've thought this through."

"I have."

"So nothing's going to change your mind?"

"No, I'm truly sorry, but no. This is just something that I have to do." She sighed, but I knew I'd gotten to her. Should it really be this easy, to start to prepare yourself for a life immortality? To start to let go of the life you'd been living?

But this was the easy part. I loved my job, sure, but I loved my Dad and Nikki and Angela more. Leaving them would be unbearable – I'd better start getting used to the losses now.

And yet, she made it all worth it.

When I got back into my apartment later that day, I was disappointed to see no sign of the vampire who'd stolen my heart, so instead I settled down with some food on the couch and put a mindless horror film on to keep my mind occupied.

I must have fallen asleep at some point during the film, because next thing I knew, I was in bed, snuggled up against a cold, marble body. She was still comfy though, oddly, and I kept my eyes closed for a few more seconds, savouring this moment where we weren't fighting and arguing.

"I know you're awake," she murmured into my hair, pressing a light kiss on my forehead, as though it was habit. I smiled, content for the first time in a while, and wished that I didn't have to move. I knew I did though.

I shifted, sitting so that I was upright and facing her, glancing at the clock as I did so. Only two hours had passed since I last remembered looking before my unscheduled nap, so at least I hadn't lost too much of the day. Alice was wearing a long-sleeved, tight-fitting black t-shirt and dark jeans, and I had to force myself to look away from her body and focus on her eyes – otherwise it would be far too easy to get distracted. She eyed me cautiously, though I knew she must know what I'd done today. She was a freaking psychic vampire, after all.

"You came," was all I managed at first, voice rough from sleep.

"Of course I came, silly. I said I would. And besides, I could never leave you. Unless you wanted me to."

"I don't want you to leave."

"You don't?"

"No. I don't want you to ever leave me. I… I handed in my letter of resignation today. Tomorrow will be my last day, and then I'll be free to do whatever you want to. To _go _wherever you want to. I… I love you, Alice. And I didn't want to say that to you until I knew what I wanted.

"But I want you. I think I've always been attracted to you, on some level. But I could never admit to myself back then, but now… Now I can, and I know what I want. I want to be with you, forever. Well, that is if you want me."

She knocked me back into the mattress with a kiss, pressing hard against me and devouring my lips hungrily. I responded in kind, running my hands through her hair and pushing up against her. Hands pressed my wrists above my head, trapping me, and I shivered, consumed by the emotion coursing through me – and through her.

"I love you too," she breathed when she finally pulled back to let me breathe. Even though it had been a meagre two days since we'd last kissed like this, I'd missed it. I'd missed _her_, even though I'd seen her every day. "But are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure. I want you, and I love you – but I can't stay like this, age, while you stay the same. I _won't_. And really hope that you aren't going to make this even harder than it already is."

"Of course I won't," she murmured, rolling to the side and lying next to me, her head resting on her palm, eyes locked with mine.

"You must have known what I was going to choose, though. You must have seen it."

"You only made the decision yourself, for sure, last night. I'd seen vision of us together in the future, yes, but I'd also had vision where we weren't. Until yesterday evening."

"And what did you see then?"

"You. Me. Together, and happy. You were Changed."

"Shouldn't we be making a plan? Like, when it's going to happen and stuff?" She leaned up to brush another soft kiss against my lips, before pulling back again.

"Let's not worry about that now, okay? Not tonight. Tonight can be… for us." The way she looked at me then left little doubt as to what 'us' time would mean. I swallowed, mouth suddenly dry at the thought of what was _finally_ going to come.

Quite literally, too.

"Remind me again why we waited so long to do that?" I asked several hours later, curled up on Alice's side, trying to get my breath back. Even Alice was breathless beside me, though more by habit than anything else, what with the not needing to breathe.

"I don't know," she replied, hugging me tighter and meeting my lips in a lazy kiss. "But at least we didn't wait even longer."

"True," I murmured, trying to supress a yawn. I was exhausted, and my body ached, but it was all in a good way. I'd never felt as good in my life as I had tonight, and I was willing to take the repercussions.

"Go to sleep, you."

"In a minute. I just… what's going to happen? With the Volturi? I don't really think it's such a good idea to have a horde of angry vampires descend on the centre of London."

"Well, no. I've thought about it – we could always head somewhere else, you know. Somewhere quieter. They'd find us, wherever we go."

"How?"

"One of them has the unique ability of being able to track vampires wherever they go. They know I'll be with you, so they'll track me, and find us." It sounded so predatory that I shivered, and Alice's arms tensed around me, as though she could erase my fears with a touch. "It'll be okay, I promise you.

"I'll take you somewhere nice. Only the best for you, and then when they're gone, we can figure out the rest, and then we're free to be together."

"It'll be perfect," I murmured, kissing her once more before snuggling further into her side. She wrapped the covers around me, but didn't remove her arms, for which I was grateful. We'd cranked the heating in the apartment up to boiling once more, and I was grateful for her coolness against my flushed skin. "I love you," I managed to whisper sleepily, and I heard her quiet reply before I fell into an easy, peaceful sleep.

**A/N:**

**Okay, so I know I sort of skipped the sex scene, and apologises for that. I'm aware of the new changes occurring involving M rated stories, and I didn't really wanna risk this getting taken down before it was finished. I might write it and post it at a later date, but who knows?**

**As always, feedback is appreciated. Getting into the home stretch of this story now, and I'm so glad that people are still following this. Exams are done and first year finished, so I'm hoping to finish this in the next few weeks. **

**:) **


	18. Chapter 18

"Bella? Where are you?" Called Alice, her voice carrying through the open door behind me. She appeared a moment later, framed by the light that came from within, soft smile on her face when she saw me. "What are you doing out here? It's freezing."

It _was_ cold outside, but having spent so much time around Alice the last few days I was starting to get used to it. The night was dark, the stars and the moon illuminating the field beyond and the trees on the horizon, and the wind whistled through them, making their shadows dance across the grass beneath.

"Sorry," I replied, smiling when the brunette's arms slid around my waist, pulling me backwards so I was flush against her chest. "It's just so beautiful out here."

"But not as beautiful as you." Alice pressed a light kiss to my cheek. "They'll be here in the morning." The words made me shiver, even though I already knew the truth of them all too well – I'd been counting down the days ever since Alice had brought me here, to this little house in the country, away from prying eyes.

We felt it was a fitting place to meet to Volturi, away from any other humans. I didn't know how Alice had found this place, but I was glad she had – it was a wonderful haven to spend my last few days as a human in.

It was a difficult thought, to think that, as early as tomorrow, I could be starting the transition into a vampire. The thought made me more uneasy than it had all those years ago, when I'd tried and failed to persuade Edward to turn me.

But my decision was made – I couldn't age while Alice didn't. I wouldn't. Already, I was older than she ever would be; the thought of increasing the physical age between us wasn't an option for me. I knew that Alice didn't care, that she'd happily turn me in twenty years if that was what I wanted, but she respected that I wanted it to be as soon as possible.

Leaving London hadn't been easy. I loved my job, but that was replaceable. Leaving Nikki, though, had been difficult. I hadn't been able to be honest with her, obviously – she thought that I was going away with Alice travelling for a few months, but that I'd eventually be back. I'd left her a letter, hidden in her apartment that I knew she'd find sooner rather than later, telling her that I wouldn't be coming back. It would hurt her, I knew, but there was nothing else I could do. I could hardly drop by and explain that I couldn't see her again because I was going to become a bloodthirsty vampire, and would probably try to kill her if our paths crossed again.

Angela had been harder, for I hadn't known that the last time I'd seen her would be the _last _time. I'd done the same for her, posting her a letter, instead. And Charlie… I hadn't been able to say goodbye to him yet. I knew I'd have to, and soon, because Nikki and Angela both wouldn't hesitate to question him when they read their letters, thinking that he would know something more, and I'd hate for him to have to learn about it from someone else.

But that was a worry for tomorrow, I decided, as Alice's arms tightened around my waist, her breath stirring my hair before she pressed another kiss to my cheek, this one more lingering. Distracted from my thoughts, I wound the fingers of one hand through her hair and turned my head, lips moving against hers.

"Come inside," she murmured when we parted, her voice seductive as she took my hand and pulled me backwards, shutting the glass doors behind her. Her mouth found mine again as she pulled me towards the bedroom, her hands gentle on my hips, guiding me.

Heat washed over me as we crossed the threshold to our room; a fire burned hot in one corner, the sound of crackling flames comforting in the otherwise silent room. Alice's hands were sure as they yanked the thin material of my t-shirt up eagerly, making a noise of approval when it became apparent that I wasn't wearing a bra underneath.

"You're insatiable," I murmured as her fingertips ghosted along my sides, leaving a path of molten fire in their wake. Her eyes, previously golden from the hunt she'd just been on, were shining now with something darker as they traced the movement of her hands, her gaze lingering at my chest.

"Not at all," she replied as her fingers deftly undid the button of my jeans. "You're just ridiculously attractive." She tugged my jeans down my legs, pressing a teasing kiss to the front of my rapidly dampening panties as she did so, before she straightened up and pushed me back onto the bed with one gentle shove.

She was straddling my hips a moment later, her lips trailing down the side of my neck as her hand twisted in my hair, exposing more of my skin. She paused at my pulse point, pounding beneath the cold press of her lips, and then her nose was ghosting back up the slope of my neck, her lips devouring mine once more.

"I love you," I gasped as her hand slid down my body, across my stomach until she'd peeled my underwear away, driving two fingers into me easily. A breathless moan left my lips, my hips pressing forward in time with each of her thrusts, and as always with her it was over almost embarrassingly quickly – she was far too good in bed.

I fell back on the bed afterwards, panting, a thin sheen of sweat lining my skin – the coolness of Alice's skin felt wonderful against mine as she stretched out beside me, her eyes appraising my face.

"I love you, too." She pecked my lips lightly and I curled into her side, draping an arm across her waist. "Are you ready for tomorrow?"

"Not really," I answered honestly, drawing absent patterns across the smooth skin of her back. "But I know you won't let anything happen to me." Her arm tightened protectively around me, her eyes burning with sincerity as they met mine.

"No. Never."

x-x-x

"They're here," Alice murmured into my ear, her voice strained, and I was only able to nod tersely in response. She was tense beside me, which didn't do anything to alleviate my nerves – I was terrified, my heart pounding rapidly in my chest, my hands clenched into tight fists in an effort to stop them from shaking.

They came in a line, emerging from the forest as one, moving fluidly together in perfect formation. There were three a few steps ahead of the others, and I assumed that those were the leaders – Alice had told me a little about the Volturi over the last few days, in an attempt to prepare me for what was to come.

All but those three paused before they reached us; Aro, Caius and Marcus continued until they stood before us. "Alice, my darling," the hood on the cloak of the vampire in the centre of the line was pulled back to reveal pale, almost translucent skin, milky red eyes and a head full of long, dark hair. "I don't suppose you'd ever consider joining us? Your gift is, after all, remarkable."

"No, thank you," Alice replied, her voice cold. I didn't like the way he was looking at her – his eyes were greedy as they absorbed her expression. But then his gaze turned to me and I swallowed hard, my mouth going suddenly dry.

"Isabella Swan," he murmured, almost reverently. "I've heard so much about you. You're… intriguing." He took a step forward, until there were only a few inches between us. "My name is Aro – presumably Alice has told you about my… gift?"

"Yes."

"And would you mind if I tried to read you?" I doubted I had much choice in the matter but I still nodded, not trusting my voice to work. One papery hand extended towards my face, and I fought the urge to flinch when he touched my skin, bracing myself for what was about to happen – but nothing did, and after a moment he stepped back, shock written clearly across his face. "Fascinating. I wonder…" He trailed off, taking a step backwards and then turning slightly, glancing towards the other vampires stood. "Jane?"

"_No_," Alice hissed from beside me, stepping forward – but she stopped at Aro's raised hand, as one of the others, Jane, presumably, stepped forward. She lowered her hood, too, to reveal a blonde who, in human years, didn't look to be much older than a teenager. "Aro," Alice tried again, her voice turning pleading. "Please."

"If she's immune to me, my dear, she most likely will be to Jane as well."

"But - " Alice cut herself off as Jane's eyes locked on mine, and I held my breath – but again, nothing happened. I watched the blonde across from me frown, before growling in frustration. Aro seemed delighted by the whole thing.

"See? Nothing to worry about." Aro's eyes were back on my face, the level of scrutiny making me uncomfortable, but I forced myself to stare right back. "We are here for a reason, though, as I'm sure you know Alice."

"Of course."

"There is only one rule, and you've broken it. Can you explain yourself?"

"I'm going to turn her."

"You've had ample time to do that, and yet she's still human. Like this she's a liability – she could talk easily. How do you know that she hasn't already?"

"She wouldn't. You can't read her, but you can read me – if she'd talked, I'd know." I could see the tension in the set of Alice's shoulders, and the way her chest rose and fell rapidly. "And I _will _turn her, and I can prove it to you. I've seen it."

"You… you can show me?" Aro sounded as though Christmas had come early, and when Alice nodded he clapped his hands together in excitement. "Excellent, excellent. Come here, then, let me - "

"Only on the condition," Alice spoke hastily, and I hoped that the flash of darkness that crossed Aro's face wasn't going to be detrimental to our cause. "That if what I say is true, and that Bella will soon become one of us, that you let us both life our lives in peace."

"Hmm," Aro mused, glancing towards his companions. "A reasonable request, I suppose. What say you, Caius?"

"If it's a certainty, and the girl hasn't talked, then I agree."

"And you, Marcus?"

"I don't see why not." I saw Alice let out a small sigh of relief, before she stepped forward, allowing Aro's hand to brush her cheek. His eyes closed, and a tiny smile crossed his face as he sifted through Alice's thoughts – when he released her, it was with a curt nod.

"She speaks the truth," he called to the rest of the Volturi, his voice carrying. "Isabella will soon become one of us, and then the danger will have passed. We have more urgent matters to attend to than the awakening of another vampire. Let us leave here and return to our home."

His words released the tight knot of worry that had been sitting in my stomach for weeks now, growing harder to bear each day, and I fought the urge to grin like an idiot – I hadn't realized how much the threat over mine and Alice's head had been bothering me until it was gone.

"But make no mistake," Aro continued, turning back to face us. "We will be checking to make sure that you do actually follow through. And keeping a close eye on the both of you to ensure no further risk to our kind occurs. And Alice, if you ever reconsider my offer… you know where I'll be."

Alice shuddered at his words, but the elder vampire didn't notice – he'd already turned, the others all falling into step with him as they disappeared back the way they'd come. It all felt unreal, that the horror I'd been imagining for so long could be over so easily, but the easy smile that Alice threw my way as my eyes met hers assured me that it wasn't a trap.

"That went… surprisingly well."

"You expected it to be worse?" I asked, quirking a questioning eyebrow upward, and the brunette shrugged, stepping forward and taking my hand, drawing me back inside.

"It _could _have gone worse, yeah."

"But it didn't." We collapsed onto the couch, with me facing forwards towards the TV and Alice behind me, cuddling in close. "What now?"

"Now you get to decide when you want to turn." Her breath was cold on the back of my neck but it didn't bother me – I was too used to it now, it seemed.

"As soon as possible."

"Is that so you can do it before you change your mind?" She teased, and I laughed, elbowing her gently in the side to spare bruising myself.

"No, idiot. I just don't want to wait."

"It'll hurt," she warned, voice low. "The worst pain imaginable – you'll wish you were dead."

"I will be, technically, won't I?"

"Stop being such a smartass." I could practically _feel _her rolling her eyes behind me. "I'm serious."

"I know." I rolled so I was facing her, cupping her face with one hand, my thumb running reassuringly across her cheek. "I didn't mean to make light of it, I'm sorry. But I want this – I want you and I want our forever; our happy ending."

"When did you get so cheesy?"

"Shut up," I groaned, kissing her to wipe the smirk playing across her lips off of her face. "What about today?"

"You seriously want the memory of your last day as a human to be one where you were interrogated by the Volturi?"

"It's the future that matters," I replied smartly, and she rolled her eyes again.

"Okay, then. But I'm taking you out for dinner first – it's the last time you'll be able to eat anything other than blood. Without throwing up, anyway."

x-x-x

"_Hey, Dad, it's me. I don't know if you've spoken to Angela and Nikki lately, but I hope not – I want you to hear it from me. And I wanted to catch you but I guess a voicemail might be easier. I… I have to leave. I've already left London; soon I'll be leaving the UK altogether. I can't explain why. I wish I could, but… I just can't. _

_You probably won't hear from me again. I know that's hard to ear – it's hard for me, too. But I couldn't go without saying goodbye. I love you, Dad, and I've never thanked you for all the things that you've done for me. I know I wasn't the easiest daughter in the world, that it wasn't easy living with me sometimes. I put you through hell four years ago and I don't think I ever apologised for that. _

_And I can't apologise enough for this, either. But I want you to know that I'm safe. I'm safe, and I'm well, and I wish I could explain more but I can't. Don't look for me. Don't mourn me. Don't throw your life away because I'm gone. You have Sue – she'll get you through this, and so will Jake, and Leah, and Seth, and Billy. _

_I love you. So, so much. And I'll miss you. But I know you'll be okay – and you have to believe that I will be, too." _

x-x-x

It was an odd concept, to know, conclusively, that some things would be your last. Last meal, last desert, last alcoholic drink… last time having sex where my girlfriend had to hold herself back.

Okay, so that last one wasn't really something that I was going to miss, but still.

"Are you _definitely _sure about this?" Alice murmured against my neck. It was later that night, after a dinner where I'd eaten so much food that I'd very nearly made myself sick – but I imagined that in a few days I'd appreciate it.

We were in bed, both naked and exhausted after several rounds of mindblowing sex. I ached everywhere but I still couldn't get enough of her touch, to the extent that, when I felt her fingers dance down my body again, I groaned in anticipation.

"_Yes_," I murmured, both in appreciation as she slipped three fingers into my core, and in answer to her question. "Yes I'm sure."

Her mouth left my neck and trailed lower, pausing at my breasts before moving over my stomach – her fingers were soon replaced by the chill of her tongue and I moaned, the fingers of my hand fisting in her hair.

She pulled back just as I was on the precipice, and I could feel her breath against my thigh, coming out in short, sharp pants. I was about to voice my disapproval that she'd stopped, even though I knew perfectly well what she was doing - we'd discussed it, at length, over the last few hours.

"I love you," she whispered against my skin, and then her fingers were pressing back into me before I could reply, her thumb skating over my clit with _just _enough pressure to make me explode – it was as I was coming, head thrown back, hand still fisted in her hair, and mouth open in a silent scream that she struck, her teeth biting easily through my skin and into the blood vessels beneath.

"Forgive me," I heard her murmur, before all coherent though left me, before I registered the pain, burning, burning… Everything was burning.

* * *

**A/N: I seriously cannot apologise enough. I lost complete motivation for this story, for this fandom, for this pairing, and it resulted in such a long time between an update. And it's a pretty short one at that. I don't even know if anyone is still interested in this story, but I couldn't leave it unfinished for any longer. I'm content to leave it there, to be honest, but if people are interested I will do an epilogue, taking place a few years after where this left off - I go on holiday on Wednesday, so I'll aim to have it up by then. **

**Once again, I'm so sorry this took so long, and if you're still reading this then that is a great level of dedication that I'm undeserving of after so long - and I thank you for it. **


	19. Epilogue

**_Five years later..._**

"Bella, hey, wait up!" I stopped in my tracks at the familiar voice, turning gracefully and forcing a smile across my face. Matt, who had become the closest thing I had to a friend during the year, seemed stunned for moment, as he so often did whenever I turned my full vampire charm on him, before he shook his head. "What did you think?"

"It went okay," I replied, falling into step with him and shrugging slightly. "Just glad that it's over."

"Yeah, yeah, me too. Listen, a few of us are going out for drinks later to celebrate, would you - "

"I'm sorry, Matt," I cut in, loathe to be the subject of yet another thinly veiled attempt of his to get me to go on a date with him. "But I have other plans." Alice was waiting for me, where she'd said she would, leaning her back against the conspicuous yellow porshe she'd bought a couple of years ago.

Her eyes lit up when she saw me, and I grinned back – we'd been apart for a handful of days while I studied for my finals, and as always seeing her after an absence made me unimaginably happy. If my heart could beat, it would be pounding.

"Hey, you," she murmured when I reached her, arms curling around my neck as I grabbed at the loops on her jeans, pulling her close. "How was it?"

"Good," I replied against her lips before kissing her soundly, not caring who saw us – not that there were many people about, anyway. Mine had been the last exam, and most of the student population of Yale had been leaving the campus over the last few days.

I'd always wanted to go to college, but the job offer from the magazine had meant that it was a dream for another day – and my transformation had allowed it to be possible. Not to mention the added advantage that super senses, including an incredible memory, as well as the whole no-sleeping thing had on my studying.

It was _almost _unfair, but I was having too much fun to care. I'd done my freshman year at Harvard and then transferred to Yale, so people would hopefully not get too suspicious about my non-aging. And now I was finished, hopefully passing with flying colours, and ready to move onto my next adventure.

It had been five glorious years since I'd changed, and I hadn't looked back since. I still pined for my old friends and my Dad from time to time, but I knew that a clean break (the irony wasn't lost on me), was best for us all in the long run.

To both mine and Alice's amazement, I hadn't had the slightest bit of trouble with controlling my bloodlust. I had zero desire for human blood, and even though sometimes when I was hunting I felt terribly sorry for the poor animal I was draining, I knew that it was either them or me.

"Shall we?" Alice murmured, breaking me out of my reverie and I nodded, slipping into the passenger seat of the too fancy car. As always, she drove too fast, but I was growing to appreciate it more now – with the same reflexes I knew that there was no way she could ever lose control of the vehicle.

Our bags were stuffed into the boot and onto the tiny backseat of the car, all of the immediate possessions we needed; the rest had been left behind in the house we'd bought for the duration of my time at Yale, to be sold along to the new owners.

We were leaving the country altogether, headed for Sweden, this time. I didn't know what to do while we were there, and neither did Alice, but we were both content to get away for a while and spend some much needed time together.

And oh yeah – we were living just down the street from the rest of Alice's family.

They had begun patching things up properly after I'd turned, but things had still been strained until recently. Until Edward had met the woman that he was sure was his mate. From then on, there'd been amicability between everyone in the Cullen clan – including me.

The real test would be living near them for an extended period of time, but we were both decided that it would be the best thing for us, in the long run. I couldn't deny that I was nervous, though, but I knew that whatever happened, Alice would be there.

We left Alice's car at the airport – she was more cut up about leaving that than anything else, which just had me rolling my eyes. On the plane I read, something that I was doing with increasing regularity as I didn't sleep; I was thinking about taking an English degree next, instead of the one in biology that I'd just completed. It'd probably be easier, considering my past.

Esme and Carlisle met us on the other side, waiting to one side of the arrivals section, and both enveloped the pair of us in a hug when we reached them – the first sense of family I'd really had since I'd last seen my dad those few years ago.

"How are you both?" Esme, ever the doting mother, asked as they led us towards their car. She had an arm wrapped around Alice's shoulder, an expression of relief written across her face; no doubt she was glad to have all of her family back together again.

"Good," Alice answered on behalf of both of us, as she and Esme slid into the backseat – Carlisle noticed my raging indecision about where to sit and laughed, nodding his head towards the passenger seat. I tuned out Alice and Esme's conversation, content to keep my eyes on the road, watching the trees fly by.

"Bella." Carlisle broke me out of my reverie, his voice as carefully controlled as always. I turned away to face him, curious. "You're really okay? No ill effects after your transformation? No craving for human blood?"

"None," I answered honestly, noting his look of fascination. I was prepared for the onslaught of questions – as far as any of us knew, I was the first of our kind to not suffer from any adverse effects of the change, and no-one knew why.

"And you still have no idea why?"

"I wish I did. It'd be nice to not feel like a freak for once in my life."

"You're not a freak, Bella," he replied kindly, shooting me a reassuring glance. "Just… an anomaly. One that I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of, eventually." I managed a smile, and the conversation was cut short as he pulled up outside a grand house. Other cars littered the elaborate driveway, and I had no doubt as to who they belonged to – it seemed the entire Cullen clan was there for the family reunion.

"This is a beautiful place," I murmured as we stepped out of the car, admiring the curving steps that led up to the heavy set wooden front door. There was even a balcony set into the second floor, overlooking the driveway and the forest that surrounded the house on three sides – the perfect hunting ground.

"Your house is just down the road – if you'd like to go and explore that now, then feel free, but we thought you might like to see everyone again first."

"Definitely." There was an air of excitement to Alice as she came to stand beside me, lacing her fingers through mine and squeezing my hand gently. She hadn't seen any of the others since they'd appeared in my apartment, apart from brief visits that I knew she thought didn't ever last for long.

A curtain was pulled back from one the windows, and Rosalie peered around the side – when she saw us a delighted smile spread across her face. I'd never expected to grow to like the blonde as much as I now did, and though at first she'd struggled to accept the fact that I'd given up my humanity, she'd come around eventually. And she'd always been there for Alice, through it all – I would always be grateful to her for that.

"B-before we go in," Alice started, pulling me to a stop as I started to make my way towards the house. I turned, raising a questioning eyebrow – she looked as ill as a vampire ever could, and I frowned. "I want to say something."

"Okay?" I was confused by the sudden change in her behaviour, and also by the look of delighted glee on Esme's face when I caught a glance of her over my girlfriend's shoulder. "What's going on?"

"I just…" Alice trailed off, taking a deep breath, and I heard the front doors open behind me, the unmistakable sound of several sets of footsteps filing out, lining the steps, and my frown deepened. But then Alice suddenly dropped to one knee in-front of me, and my breath caught in my throat, my brain finally catching up.

"Oh, my God," I whispered, and a grin flashed across Alice's face at the response as she produced a tiny black box from inside her coat pocket.

"Isabella Swan," she started, opening the box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring – it caught the rapidly fading light and glittered, so perfect that it took my breath away. "Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

"Yes," I breathed, sure that if I were able, tears would be pouring down my face – especially at the delighted expression that flitted across Alice's features. She slipped the ring easily onto my finger (unsurprisingly it was a perfect fit), before climbing gracefully to her feet and kissing me hard on the mouth; all around us, I could hear the woops and cheers of my new family.

* * *

**A/N: It's a cheesy ending, I know, but I couldn't resist. The response to the last chapter was amazing, more than I'd hoped for, and I hope you like this one, too. I know it's short but I feel like it works okay the way it is. **

**I just want to thank everyone who's stuck with this story to the end - I really can't thank you enough. This has been the most popular story I've ever posted, and that means alot. **

**I think it's pretty clear that I probably won't ever return to writing this pairing again, but I will always be writing. I've already done a couple of stories for the Glee fandom, and next I'll probably be moving on to Lost Girl or Once Upon a Time. If you're interested in any of those things then feel free to follow me on here, or on Tumblr (shutupberry is my URL). **

**Thank you all so, so much again; you're amazing and I'm sending you all virtual hugs right now. **

**-CC.**


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